Kurt Busch: A Teleprompter. For the new champ to practice those
script-like interviews that sound like NASCAR-written speeches.
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Michael Waltrip: For the only driver who gets more TV time than
Junior, a copy of the DVD of Michael Waltrip's Greatest
Commercials.
Mark Martin: Sponsorship from Pfizer's newest wonder drug. He
has to be getting tired of all those Viagra jokes.
Ryan Newman: A lifetime invitation to the Chase, the new
playoff format he calls "silly" and "ridiculous."
Kasey Kahne: An appearance on the TV show The Bachelor.
After all, People magazine named him one of its 50 hottest
men.
Kevin Harvick: A Matt Kenseth T-shirt and a new front bumper.
Harvick showed up in a Kenseth T-shirt the week after the two tangled
on the track at Pocono. Why the new front bumper? He wore his out
hitting people this year.
Rusty Wallace: After his feud with Newman, Dr. Phil's new book,
How To Get Along With Your Teammate.
Jeremy Mayfield: Dr. Phil's new book How To Get Along With
Rusty. A few years after feuding with Wallace, Mayfield will
drive one of Wallace's Busch cars next year.
Joe Nemechek: A giant G.I. Joe. His first victory in the
Army-sponsored car was one of the feel-good stories of the year.
Greg Biffle: Action figures of The Flash and Wonder Women. The
spandex-clad superheroes joined Biffle in victory lane after his win
in a DC Comics-sponsored car at Michigan.
NASCAR chairman Brian France: A big bottle of Crown Royal. It
was France who spearheaded NASCAR's new policy to allow hard-liquor
sponsors.
For NASCAR officials: A red flag. For all those occasions when
they can't figure out the running order, or when the caution lights
are supposed to come on, or when pit road is supposed to be open, or
who is on the lead lap or ...
For NASCAR fans: Foam-covered beer cans for all those races
when NASCAR officials make you so mad you just have to litter the
track with garbage.
And for all of NASCAR's Nextel Cup competitors: A little time
to relax before one of the most hectic schedules in sports starts all
over again.
