Team meeting.

From John McGraw to Casey Stengel to Phil Garner, when infield dirt has been kicked in their faces, baseball managers throughout history eventually have resorted to the ol' team meeting as a motivational force.

Having entered the majors in 1979, Rickey Henderson certainly has seen his share of team meetings.(AP)

We know things already have turned serious this season because, in the past few days, Kansas City, Oakland, Boston and Detroit all have held closed-door, team meetings.

(And by the way, why doesn't anybody ever hold an "open-door'' team meeting?)

The Royals, in fact, held two in two days.

"Pound that ol' Budweiser into you and go get 'em tomorrow,'' manager Joe Schultz told his 1969 Seattle Pilots, according to Jim Bouton's classic book Ball Four.

"... I'd like to see (the players) go out and pound tequila rather than cookies and milk, because nobody's going to get us out of this but us,'' Kansas City manager Tony Muser told reporters on Thursday before the first of the Royals' two team meetings (one was a players-only meeting).

Other than spring training and in-season sessions to divvy up playoff shares, are team meetings ever a good thing?

The Royals' two meetings came after Cleveland swept a three-game series in Kauffman Stadium and outscored Kansas City 30-10.

Boston's meeting, at the behest of manager Jimy Williams, came on Saturday after the Red Sox had lost five of six games and dropped from first to second in the AL East. Several Red Sox players had been griping about playing time, pitcher Tomo Ohka threw a fit and Williams finally had enough.

Meanwhile, Detroit's came complete with entertainment -- even though the Tigers had been improving. Garner hired a hypnotist and two comedians a few weeks ago to perform in the Tigers' clubhouse before Sunday's game in Anaheim. Garner told the Detroit Free Press that the hypnotist, Suzy Haner, uses a form of hypnosis that "is a form of visualization, relaxation and motivation.''

"So if somebody gets something out of that and can utilize a little something out of that, that's good,'' Garner told the Free Press. "But if everybody else just has some entertainment value out of it, then that's all we want.''

Apparently, the Tigers didn't pay for a long enough session. Upon its conclusion, they went out and were beaten by the Angels 3-2 -- in 10 innings.

As for the comedians ...

"If you're in a comedy club, it's funny,'' Tigers funnyman Shane Halter told Danny Knobler of Booth Newspapers. "At 10 in the morning, it's hard to be funny.''

That's the thing with team meetings. Usually, they're funny only in hindsight. Which is no surprise, because success doesn't exactly breed them.

"Team meetings usually only happen when something is not going according to plan,'' said San Diego's Rickey Henderson, who may lead the league in team meetings, having broken into the majors in 1979. "Or if somebody says something, and they want to address it.''

The most memorable team meeting of Henderson's career occurred in the early 1980s, when he was playing for Billy Martin's Oakland Athletics. The A's were in Chicago, they were scuffling and, as often happened in those days, Martin was raging.

So Martin closed the clubhouse doors after one of the games with the White Sox and addressed the troops.

"He felt everyone should go out on the town and party because we were too tense,'' Henderson said. "He said he didn't want nobody back in the hotel room until 3 that morning. If you were back in your room before 3, you were going to get fined.

"We won the next day, too.''

Not all team meetings are so, um, therapeutic.

The temperamental Dick Williams is said to have held just one meeting during his four-year run as San Diego's manager. And former utilityman Tim Flannery, now a coach with the club, remembers it vividly.

"It was in Pittsburgh,'' Flannery said. "He comes out and says, "It starts with a little tingling feeling in your finger. Then it moves to your wrist. Then your neck starts pinching you, and pretty soon it's your shoulder. Then, it moves down into your back.

"And if you follow them all down, they all lead to the same thing: A tight (rear end).'

"Then he said, 'This meeting's over', and he went back to his office and slammed the door.

"The meeting was over.''

Most players have razor-sharp sensors, and when a manager or coach starts preaching the gospel of moving guys over, getting bunts down and doing the little things it takes to win, they quickly tune out.

Which is why meetings such as one in Atlanta in the early 1990s are the kind players remember.

The Braves that day talked about moving runners over and doing the little things, then they opened the floor for individual players to speak. Finally, according to pitcher Tom Glavine, Rafael Belliard's turn came.

"Raffy, you got anything to say?'' someone asked.

And Belliard nodded, stunning his teammates.

"We need to drink more coffee,'' Belliard offered.

Not as dramatic, perhaps, as winning one for the Gipper in Knute Rockne: All-American. But what do you think this is, Hollywood?

In real life, when the breaks are going against the boys and their backs are up against it on the baseball diamond, things are more confusing than ever.

Do the boys pound Budweiser or tequila? Milk or cookies? Or, how about coffee?

Somewhere in there, a few hits are hidden.

Somewhere in there, a magic formula is waiting.

Probably, there will have to be a few more team meetings to learn where.