I don’t care who you are, or where you’re from, if you play basketball with other people, there’s always that one person who tries too hard and takes the game way too seriously. Well, if that person were to play with Jim Harbaugh, he’d probably ask him “what’s your deal?” after the game.

Yes, we all know that the Michigan coach can be a bit intense and that he’s very competitive, but our latest example of this comes courtesy of Harbaugh’s brother. John Harbaugh, the coach of the Baltimore Ravens, told Sports Illustrated’s Peter King a tale of a family basketball game in the driveway, and it went exactly how you’d expect it to.

I’ll let John tell the story.

“We get Jim to drive up with the kids and all that, and we have a basketball hoop in the front yard in the driveway, and we were going to play a little game with the kids, and we just started shooting around, and next thing you know it was a 4-on-4 game. 

“It was Jack, who is two-and-a-half, Addy, who is six, Katie, who is four-and-a-half or five at the time, Allison who is 13 or 14 and she is a little basketball player, and Jim and me and Sarah, my wife. 

“We’re playing, and you can picture the kind of game it is, right? Allison happens to hit a couple jumpers and we’re playing to seven, and we’re up maybe 5-1. Next thing you know, Jim starts going over the top of Allison for rebounds, he’s boxing her out 10 feet away from the basket. Next thing you know, it’s 5-5 and Jim has made all the shots for his team of course. 

“I’m like, you know, maybe Addy would like to touch the ball? Maybe Katie or Jack could dribble a little bit now and then? 

“It goes 6-6 and a long rebound comes out the side, he goes and gets it. I see Allison happens to be over there, so I see him going to the basket, he’s going to take Allison to the hole, you know, he’s about 6’3”, 235, so I’m going to go cut him off. I get him with my right arm bar across his chest and I’m trying to body check him into the pricker bushes behind the driveway, and he just powers his way to the basket, lays one over the top, a reverse layup off the board, and all he could talk about is how he won. He picks up Jack and says, ‘Doesn’t it feel great, Jack, to win? Doesn’t it feel great to win?’ 

“An hour later we were crossing paths in the backyard to go get a soda or something, and he looks me right in the eye and he says, ‘Hey John, have you won anything yet?’”

There are a couple of lessons to be learned here. First of all, don’t play basketball with Jim Harbaugh unless you really have to. Like, if nobody else is willing to play, and you need an extra guy to have an even number of players on the two teams, and only Jim Harbaugh is around, then you can let him play. Even then you might be better off just playing HORSE or something.

The second lesson is for John Harbaugh.

Don’t come in here with your weak fouls, John. I see players do this too often. If you’re going to foul somebody to keep them from scoring a layup, foul them. You mention there are bushes along the court, you put him in those bushes, John. You’re a football coach, after all. You drive through the man, John! You don’t let him get that layup off! You deserved to lose!

No half-measures.