Ken Caldwell took to Twitter shortly after the NCAA announced on Tuesday that it had hit UCF with severe penalties for its involvement with him, and the "third-party recruiter" promised a response that would set the record straight.
So I couldn't wait.
In fact, I tweeted exactly that.
And I was thrilled Wednesday when the video posted to YouTube.
Caldwell titled it "The Truth Part 1."
It was nine minutes of taped ridiculousness.
"I want to address all these allegations and keep it real," Caldwell said in the first minute, and, boy, did he ever keep it real ... even if he didn't say much that matters. On Twitter, he claimed he had "proof" and that "now it is time to show it." But Caldwell never said what he had proof of, and watching the video -- I've seen it three times -- provided no insight.
Caldwell never mentioned a coach by name.
He never incriminated himself or anybody else.
He mostly just rambled and rambled and rambled, and UCF's Donnie Jones must be sitting somewhere wondering, "Why in the world did I ever take this clown's call?" Simply put, the video is hilarious. Caldwell starts by acknowledging that he does indeed have an affiliation with a sports agent, and though I appreciated his honesty it really wasn't necessary on this point because Pete Thamel sorta proved that more than a year ago with an article in the New York Times, which is what got all this started in the first place. But I'm not here to split hairs. Let's move on.
"I know everyone in basketball," Caldwell said. "People know me."
Among the people who know him: NCAA director of enforcement LuAnn Humphrey. But all jokes aside, if Caldwell genuinely does "know everyone in basketball," I might be interested in trying to get him hired to run our Eye On College Basketball blog. (Move over, Norlander!) I mean, relationships are crucial in the world of reporting. So I'm not sure there's a better hire to be made than one that involves bringing on board a man who KNOWS EVERYONE IN BASKETBALL ... and understands how to post videos on the internet.
Caldwell's main point of contention, best I can tell, is that it shouldn't be against NCAA rules for him -- i.e., a convicted felon with acknowledged ties to a sports agent -- to tell prospects how great UCF is because, well, I'll just let him explain in his own analogy challenged words.
"Don't get mad at me because I promoted something that I like," Caldwell said. "People out here promote everything that they like. You hear rappers all the time talking about Bentleys. But is that a violation?"
Good point, Ken.
Rick Ross rapping about a Bentley is in fact not an NCAA violation -- mostly because Rick Ross is not a runner for a sports agent, and a Bentley is not an NCAA institution. Ricky Rozay is hustling everyday, sure. But it's not the same kind of hustle, and it has nothing to do with the NCAA, and I could write about this all night, but I think you get the point.
Ken Caldwell is a babbling danger to himself and college basketball programs.
But he has a YouTube account!
And that's great.
Because "The Truth Part 2" will be released soon.
I expect it to be called "Ken Caldwell Rises."