Updated Feb. 18
Got a note from an elder, a man who has been a sportswriter for four decades.
I was honored. Until I learned more about him.
Plus, The Chad is back!
But Lance Kreul isn't.
So it's a bittersweet edition of Dear Gary.
From: Brad
I used to e-mail you about the Memphis Tigers before you became a superstar and you always wrote back. Thanks for that.
No problem. But as you noted, I'm now a superstar. So I no longer have time to personally correspond with common folk, which is not to suggest it's not good to hear from you again. It's great to hear from you again. It's just that we can't directly communicate anymore. Those times have passed.
On a serious note, this allows me to do something I've been wanting to do for a while, which is apologize for not answering every e-mail. The sheer number that arrives on a weekly basis makes it physically (and mentally) impossible to respond. There aren't enough seconds in the minutes, minutes in the hours, hours in the days or days in the week to make it happen. I hate it. I wish I could change it. But I can't. So take this as a universal apology, but understand I do read every e-mail that arrives ... even the ones that appear to be written by Tim Hardaway.
From: Bruce Scroggs
Wow. You have a whole nation of idiot followers ... f-gg-t.
Like that one. And this next one.
From: Stephen Macrina
I closed my eyes and wanted to vomit (when I read the Adam Haluska Valentine's Day column). What a gay story!
Oh, the Valentine's Day column. Boy, did that get a nice mixture of reviews
From: Wayne
Damn son, I just elevated you to John Sandford status. Forget that hack John Grisham. The article about Haluska was not only well-written, but it showed your other side as well. Predictor of basketball games and writer of affairs of the heart. Nice going, kid!
I'm versatile, Wayne. If I were a baseball player they'd refer to me as a five-tool player. Or maybe just a two-tool player. Either way, this next guy thinks I'm just, well, a tool.
From: Pat
OK Gary. I have been easy on you, but now I have to let you have it! What the HELL does Adam Haluska and his girlfriend have to do with sports? Nothing. If I wanted to read that crap I would buy ESPN The Magazine or watch a game where they put the camera on her five or six times. Whoopty freakin' do. Give me a break. The girl is pretty, but I am sure there are similar situations with other kids out there. For one, you could have written on my boy at Indiana, Errek Suhr, who is a walk-on and engaged to get married.
Maybe I'll check into that. Valentine's Day comes every year, you know.
From: Laura Mullen
Nice Valentine's Day article. Loved the storyline. They are some good kids, it sounds like. I saved the article to read on another day also, just to make me smile again.
Nobody can deny that column helped with the female demographic. I'm huge with chicks now.
From: Jim
There is nothing better for you to write about?
That depends on your definition of better. According to my definition, the answer is an emphatic no. Great stories are great stories, and what I found was a great story about Haluska and the woman he will soon marry. Was it about basketball, per se? No, but it was about a prominent basketball player (the Big Ten's leading scorer, don't forget), and that was enough of a hook, particularly on Valentine's Day.
Still, there was a decent number of e-mails asking why I wrote about something that didn't have anything to do with actual basketball. I was surprised by those, to tell the truth. I learned some of you are hardcore basketball fans who want nothing but points and rebounds and RPI rankings all the time, and I can respect that. But I still believe great stories are great stories, and whenever I find them I'm going to write them because they're much more interesting, memorable and meaningful, and they have broader appeal.
For instance, there was a great story in USA Today earlier this season about Billy Donovan and Joakim Noah, and how their political views are totally different. I still remember that story, and it had nothing to do with basketball. There were about a million stories last season on Adam Morrison and J.J. Redick playing video games against each other. Did that have anything to do with basketball? No, but it was a neat story. The New York Times had a story the other day on the coach at Brown. Why? Because he's Barack Obama's brother-in-law. Did it have anything to do with basketball? Nope, not a thing. But I couldn't wait to read it.
So if you're one of those who believe the Haluska column was a waste because it didn't analyze Iowa's NCAA Tournament chances, we'll just have to agree to disagree. I believe human interest columns have a much bigger impact than most pure basketball columns, and the amount of kind e-mails about that Valentine's Day column combined with how many times it was apparently read only reaffirmed my belief. Bottom line, most people like nice stories, and that was a nice and sweet story about two nice and sweet people. So I'm glad I wrote it, you heartless bastards!
From: Julian
I'm just curious. Are you still getting hate mail from Duke fans complaining about their point guard what's his name not being on your list of top point guards at the beginning of the season?
No, actually. They've been quiet on that subject for quite some time. Funny how things work like that, huh?
From: Torey
What else does a team like Ole Miss with a new exciting coach like Andy Kennedy have to do to get national attention?
Nothing. They've already done it. The national attention is right here.
From: Roy
So Gary, you think you're smart? I think you're just lucky at predicting games. Prove me wrong. Who wins the Butler-Southern Illinois BracketBuster game?
Southern Illinois 68-64. Jamaal Tatum will get 20 and the SIU defense will stifle A.J. Graves, probably hold him to a season-low five points.
From: Chad 'The Chad' Williams
Gary, it's The Chad again. The Chad once ate a sandwich the size of his calf and exclaimed, "G--damn, that was a sandwich!" That's beside the point, though, even if it was a g--damn monstrosity of a sandwich. What The Chad loves is excellence and history, particularly the Napoleonic Era.
The Boss Stephane Lasme did it again Gary, placing himself in the history books with his third triple-double of the season with 18 points, 12 rebounds, and 11 blocks against Rhode Island. Did The Chad just say 11 blocks? Wait, while The Chad slaps himself in the face. Not to sound obscene, but Stephane Lasme was slapping balls in URI's face all night Feb. 8 at The Mullins Center. Facialization, baby -- as Dick Vitale would say in a somewhat perverse demeanor.
This just goes to prove that Stephane Lasme might as well be placed on a royal throne, being fed grapes and wine, in the center of UMass. And The Chad would be right there, in a lawn chair, unconscious in sheer euphoria. Anyways Gary, The Chad wishes you well. You just got to love The Chad.
You do indeed just got to love The Chad. That's excellent. By the way, also got e-mails this week from The Alex and The Vinny. So the 'The (name here)' thing is catching on, and it's why I wish I would've named my son The Aiden Parrish. First name 'The'. Middle name 'Aiden'. Last name 'Parrish'. I've spent my entire life developing brilliant ideas years too late for them to matter. This is just another example.
From: Tim Christensen
Let me get this straight: As long as contact with an official is vicious, then it is OK in your book.How sad.I have been an official for 39 years and a sports Writer longer and I am flat out embarrassed for your comments on O J Mayo.ANY physical contact with an official should be penalize harshly.You are just saying season is opn for high school stars to take their shot.Again. Sad sir, simply sad.
I usually correct people's e-mails, fix misspelled words and add punctuation where needed. But because you've been a "sports Writer" for longer than 39 years I figured I'd be a friendly editor and just let your words stand as they arrived. That said, I'm assuming you meant "isn't vicious" instead of "is vicious" and "penalized" instead of "penalize" and "open" instead of "opn."
Also, "open season" is a bit of a cliché. You should try to avoid those, if possible, you being a sportswriter and all. Furthermore, how is it you've been a sportswriter for longer than 39 years, yet the only mention I can find of you has to do with sheet metal. (That's right. I looked you up. Holler at your boy, Doyel!). Exactly where is all this sports writing being done, Tim? And if after 39 years you still don't understand that sentences must have spaces between them you should probably find a new hobby. Like sheet metal.
From: Tom Williams
Your comments on the Mayo incident confirm my belief that sportswriters as well as commentators, referees, and coaches are slowly ruining the sport of basketball. ... You condemn a high school student, O.J. Mayo, for trash-talking but give him a pass on physically assaulting a referee who had called a foul on him? Incredible bit of reasoning. How dare any student-athlete be given anything but permanent suspension for the rest of the season for assaulting an official.
Physical assault? Really? Come on, Tom. I'm sure you've seen the video. If you think that's physical assault I sure hope you don't inadvertently bump into someone today walking down the street and end up in prison. Jeez.
The bottom line is O.J. was wrong to taunt another high school player. I've stressed that point. He deserved the first technical. Did he deserve the second technical? I can't say for sure. Perhaps he called the official's mother a bad word under his breath. I don't know. But from just watching the video with no sound I could argue the second technical was unnecessary.
Either way, after it was called the video shows O.J. following an official to the scorer's table. It appears he's looking for an explanation, which I suppose any player would do. In the process, yes, he bumped the referee. But he didn't shove him. Or push him. Or punch him. The contact seems unintentional and it appears the official -- as I wrote last week -- took a dive, or else he is the most fragile official in the history of sport.
That said, O.J. needs to change his present course. One of the ideas behind him signing with Southern California is to become a media star in the Los Angeles market, allowing him to secure huge endorsement deals upon entering the NBA. So it's silly to continue gaining negative headlines that will hinder his professional opportunities. For that reason alone, O.J. should just keep his mouth shut, dribble, dunk and pass for the next 16 months.
I hope he has learned a lesson. But permanent suspension, as you suggest, is excessive and dumb. He missed three games and paid a public relations price, which I contend is enough. As for you, Tom, you are to be applauded, if not for your reasoning then at least for your sentence structure. I don't believe you are a journalist, but you still understand how to put a space between sentences. So you're doing better than our friend Timmy Sports Writer up there. And if you ever need some sheet metal, send me another e-mail and I can put you two in touch.
