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CBSSports.com National Columnist

Hate Mail: Buckeyes fans must be gluttons for punishment


Updated March 24

Apparently last week I wasn't mean enough to Ohio State fans, because they're back for more. So we'll do it again, and this time I'll try to be more direct. I'm too subtle, usually.

For example, naming this weekly column Hate Mail. Subtle phrase. Could be taken any number of ways.


From: Chadd Lenartowicz

Good God -- Tressel didn't get Pearl fired. Pearl got Pearl fired. It's called personal accountability.

Your name is an anagram for "dance toward zilch." You're on the road to nowhere, my man.

From: Adam Gerson

I object to last week's Hate Mail. Ohio State is blessed with many passionate fans, but your attempt to make our university, students and alumni look moronic -- by posting emails from fans who in all likelihood did not attend OSU -- is misleading and unfair. In the future, please look for an ".edu" to differentiate between fans and alumni.

Jeez, how hard am I supposed to work on Hate Mail? I don't have time for background searches, not if I'm going to do anagrams and look people up. Like you, Adam. You were Ohio State's 2010 Homecoming King, huh? Neat. But back to your original point: If you're asking me to protect Ohio State fans from themselves, the answer is no. Police your own, Your Highness.

From: Mathew

Get your bald head out of your ass, man. Tressel got Pearl fired? LMFAO. You must be a scUM fan or something cause your delsional. I hope you enjoy the 2011 season and the beatdowns were going to put on every team we face this year. THIS will make Tressel stronger and he will go for the throat every game and not let up like he has in the past. GO Bucks!

No ".edu" on your email, Mathew. Did you go to Ohio State, or are you just a fan? Sorry, I have to ask. You're probably embarrassing actual OSU students, seeing how you're an idiot. I printed your email, as is. Did you misspell your own name, Mathew?

From: David Hollaz

You're a total ass. Cam Newton's dad shops him around for $200,000. Ohio State players sell souvenir pants and get a discount on tattoos, and you want the coach fired. Your idiocy is on total display.

The fireable offense wasn't the crime. The fireable offense was the cover-up. Think back to Watergate: Maybe you think Nixon got railroaded.

From: Buckeye Maniac

Dumb, just dumb. And get a new picture, you hack.

Sorry. Is your wife staring at my face again?

From: Jeff

I live in Cincinnati, and I generally think your work sucks. But the Hate Mail from OSU fans was hilarious. In the words of Homer, it's only funny cause it's true. Especially the 12 words, six mistakes. Tell me there is more, please!

Nope. We're all done with that. At this point, any more stupid emails from stupid OSU graduates fans would be piling on.

From: Bob Steele

You are proof that morons exist in this world! Keep trying with Tressel. You and the rest of the lemming media keep trying, but all it does is unite Buckeye Nation. We are the Yankees. You are the Royals.

OK. Maybe a few more stupid emails from stupid OSU graduates fans. But only because Bob Steele thought it made sense to compare Ohio State, with its NCAA violations, to a professional sports franchise that bludgeons the opposition with its wallet. Hey, the Yankee thing was his analogy. Not mine.

From: David Sheets

Tressel isn't going anywhere -- and if you had a clue, you'd realize he runs the cleanest program in the country.

Tressel runs the WHAT? Hahahahaha you kill me, you really do. Good one, David. Thanks for the levity. Sometimes it gets too serious around here. Come back anytime, friend.

From: Jeff

What I know about Jim Tressel tells a completely different story of the man you try to make out to be Osama Bin Laden himself. Like he's evil incarnate.

This is called a "straw man" argument. You're inventing something -- I never said Tressel was evil, or comparable to a murderous psychopath -- and then you use that invention to justify getting mad at me. Apparently because what I actually wrote was bulletproof.

From: Mike D.

You poor dumb bastard.

Hahahaha. You OSU fans. I love you.

From: Mike Duncan

I don't think of you as a sportswriter. Drama Queen, maybe.

I prefer "poor dumb bastard" myself.

From: David Goho

After looking at your busted bracket, how do you call yourself an expert anymore?

Technically I don't call me an "expert." My bosses call me an "expert." Probably because of this contest I won. Anyway, if you think my bracket was bad, you should see my predictions in other sports.

From: Chris Sagliano

Just looked at your 2010 World predictions. LOL. Amazing you kept your job, Greggy.

Oh. You have seen my predictions in other sports.

From: D. Moore

Your knowledge of this sport is suspect based on your excellent picks.

Look, show me the website that employs Nostradamus, and I'll make it my home page. Until then, shaddup.

From: Kevin Conboy

While it may be true that VCU is shocking the basketball world, it doesn't justify VCU getting a bid in the first place. Virginia Tech and Colorado were much more deserving. Also, don't downgrade George Mason to a "decent" team. Mason split games with VCU this year.

Don't upgrade George Mason from "decent" if Mason couldn't even sweep an undeserving team like VCU this year. See what I did there? More to the point, do you see what YOU did there?

Gregg Doyel is a columnist for CBSSports.com. He covered the ACC for the Charlotte Observer, the Marlins for the Miami Herald, and Brooksville (Fla.) Hernando for the Tampa Tribune. He was 4-0 (3 KO's!) as an amateur boxer, and volunteers for the ALS Association. Follow Gregg Doyel on Twitter.

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