Texas, you are why we can't have nice things.
Play time's over, and the act which we've put up with for more than a year has gone from accepted distraction to obtrusive nuisance. You fooled us, fooled the Big 12, fooled yourselves for way too long.
Now we see it so clearly. Texas, a school with seemingly so many options and so much capital, can't decide which conference it wants to be in -- and can't get a conference to covet it, either. It is one big black sheep, but it doesn't even know it. Or at least it didn't until late Tuesday night.
|Larry Scott's Pac-12 rejected the mighty Longhorns. (Getty Images)|
Get your house in order, Texas. We're about through with you. This conference-expansion mishmash is all because of you, and it's gotta end soon. For all your personality flaws, you started it and you get to end it. Swallow some pride and fix this because you bumped the boulder down the hill to begin with. I mean, the Pac-12 doesn't want you. What does that say? A league that's been relatively irrelevant in football and basketball for the better part of the past 20 years, save for one or two elite teams, just said you can't hang in the treehouse. Ouch.
How's that stiff-arm feel? That's blunt-force karma, baby.
It's so ironic -- practically unbelievable -- that conference realignment has come to this: a situation in which Syracuse, Pittsburgh and Texas A&M are the only schools of impact that actually did the deed, that actually wanted to go somewhere and made it happen. Texas has so many qualities that any conference should want. But it's got that baggage, too, in the form of the Longhorn Network -- an idea once thought revolutionary but now is an albatross. It's the single biggest reason -- if not the single reason -- the Longhorns won't pay rent with the could-have-been Pac-16.
The obvious analogy is so very true. Texas is so beautiful. It's that gorgeous girl with seemingly a whole lot to offer. But that girl's also so snooty. Stuck-up. She looks really good from afar, but nobody really wants to get involved with her because she's too demanding, makes things uncomfortable for others in the group and thinks she's better than everyone else. Plus, she totally always sticks it to Texas A&M whenever she gets the chance.
Something like that. So now she's forced to get back to the clique that can't turn her way. The average-looking group of underachievers has their social overlord again. It has to be that way. This feels like the beginning of the end of a morally overwrought teen flick.
|More on realignment|
Texas wants to live by its own rules, but we've learned the only way for that to truly happen for the 'Horns is to go independent. And that doesn't look like a viable option. If it was, don't you think it would have happened by now?
We now know you can't jump from one conference to another with that sort of arrogance, either. At least not to a conference that knows what it's doing and isn't teetering on the edge of complete disassembly.
The Pac-12 saved the structure of major college sports because it had no emotional ties to Texas and Oklahoma, which was also packing up the car as late as dinnertime Tuesday night. Because of the Pac-12's decision, it looks like frenetic energy around conference realignment is slowing down. That conference was the one which finally hit the pause button on the music and forced everyone into the chairs.
College basketball is better for it. The six-conference structure is absolutely optimal for the long-term sustenance of the sport. Now, there's a Big 12 to be resuscitated, and what an awkward arrangement that's going to be. Oklahoma hates Texas, but the two are stuck together. Heck, everyone hates Texas, but they're all going to have to deal with it down there.
At least they better, because we can’t go through the motions again. Not this month, not next year, not the year after. I've never been so exhausted, confused and fed up by an offseason before. Please, Texas, spare us any additional expansion/retraction conference news for the next five years by accepting your role. Stay in the Big 12. Keep that conference together and even use your arrogance to lure one more member to get the league to 10 teams.
We're well into the college football season, and college basketball officially gets underway in about three weeks. Let's put off any more expansion news and just focus on the games already.
It's all on you, Texas. You wanted to impact college sports in a way that had never been done before? Well, you have. And now you look awkward with that tail tucked, affecting your gait as you head back to the Big 12, a place you never left to begin with, no matter how hard you tried to convince us all otherwise.