There's two kinds of dumb, my man George tells Norman Dale in Hoosiers. There's the guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon ... and a guy who does the same thing in my living room.
The first one don't matter.
The second one? That's Hate Mail.
From: Chuck Stovers
In your latest attack on Arkansas' fans, you compared cockfighting to owning slaves. I will do everything in my power to have you fired, you worthless excuse for a human being. You have no idea how it was for African-American people to go through such awful oppression, and you have no right to make fun of such a thing. Have fun being unemployed, a--hole
You interpreted my comment to Flip Golfer in last week's Hate Mail as making fun of slavery? Next time you want to run out in the snow and bark at the moon, try not to do it in my living room.
From: Ben Dial
Let me get this straight. Instead of manning up and admitting that you were wrong about Houston Nutt, you go ballistic when you are called on it by fans. Look, bro. If you want respect, own up to it when you are clearly wrong. You were clearly wrong about Houston Nutt and clearly wrong about the fan base for running him off. Also, Arkansas is a state, not a country.
So much stupid in your email. You understood neither that column from 2008 nor the joke from last week. Doing Arkansas proud, my man.
YOU SUCK LIFE
You suck email.
I get it -- classic defense mechanism. When you're wrong, go on the offensive instead of actually addressing your own shortcomings. But I'm not giving you ANY reason to give me one of your smart-ass responses. I simply am directing you to the column of yours from 2008 and asking if you can see Nutt for what Arkansans saw him as at the time -- do you feel any differently?
Sigh. No. I feel no differently, because that column wasn't about Nutt's worthiness as your coach. The column was about the lunatic way your fan base ran him off. That hasn't changed. That will never change.
Instead of further insulting the very Arkansas fans who sat through Houston Nutt's consistent BS, only to have you claim that Ole Miss was getting the better end of the deal, you could have simply man'd up and admitted you were wrong.
Now I see the problem with you Arkansas fans. You're not stupid -- you're lazy. You never even read the damn column, because I NEVER said Ole Miss got the better end of that deal in 2008. No wonder my living room is full of barking naked people. Go away, please.
From: Box Runner
I'll flood your email any time I want to. Especially considering how wrong you were about Nutt and Petrino. Just admit you were wrong, and people will move on. If you keep writing flame fests instead of the "I got it wrong" you should be writing, expect to get emails from fans.
Maybe the problem is one of language. I speak English. What do you people speak there in Arkansas?
The funny thing is that you made fun of people from Arkansas, but didn't really defend that 2008 article. Do you really think Nutt is a better coach than Petrino?
Some people look better naked than clothed. You're not one of those people, Bob.
I don't know what planet are you in or how educated you are? If cockfighting is cruel to the animals, then why aren't boxing and the UFC -- fighting between two highest form of animals??
The thing is, you really think you've asked a good question. You slapped that on the table like it's a straight flush, when all you did was put down three Go Fish cards and a picture of that creepy dude from Monopoly.
From: MRI Anderson
You are a flaming red a--hole.
Then let's all be grateful your first name isn't another medical procedure. Like, say, Colonoscopy. Frankly I don't want to know you that well.
Tony La Russa has all that legacy for just one game! You must be a sports genius or an idiot.
I gotta go (A).
Would a college hockey conference format work for football?
Sure. Wait -- there's college hockey?
From: Rich Mann
So you made all-state in baseball in 1988? Congratulations! You actually were worth a damn ... 25 years ago! Too bad we can't say the same thing for you now.
It's a shame, my downward career trajectory. Twenty-five years ago I was one of the best 15 high school baseball players in Georgia. Today I'm one of the best
10 two columnists in the country. (Thanks for setting it up on a tee for me, Dick!)
From: Steve Traylor
Lovable, huggable La Russa? Nobody was singin' that song last year. Talk to Brandon Phillips and the truth shall set you free.
Been there, tried that. Brandon Phillips is great to the fans and a sweetheart to children -- I'm being serious -- but he's miserable to sports writers. No thanks.
From: T. Barrett
I must be missing something. The batting list that Michael Young is highest on 121st is Double Plays Grounded Into. How is Young even in the discussion for HOF?
You, sir, are 100 percent correct -- you're missing something. The whole point is Young's PACE. He's on PACE to get 3,000 hits, which means he's on PACE to be in the Hall discussion. By your line of thinking, Prince Fielder will never belong in the Hall discussion either. That loser is just 241st in home runs.
From: Don Rizzo
How in the hell did you get a job at CBS? You don't even qualify as a copy boy! You listed all the things that make Michael Young a MVP candidate, but you left out his most important contribution to the team -- he is the team leader. Leadership ability is something that is hard to come by. As an ex-USAF officer and instructor pilot, I know a leader when I see one.
Thanks for listing your resume. Was it as much fun for you as it is for me?
From: Scott Chesser
Learn how to take shots at people without the shotgun effect hitting a whole state.
Somebody didn't read to the end of last week's Hate Mail, where I wrote these exact words:
Editor's note, editor being Gregg Doyel. So it's not really an editor's note. More like a postscript: I realize the hundred or so Arkansas fans who wrote me do NOT represent the entire fan base. So if you're one of the thousands who didn't write me, I wasn't talking to -- or about -- you. But police your own, huh? You have idiots running amok.