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Urban Meyer has a great joke about Earle Bruce and Woody Hayes

By Tom Fornelli | College Football Writer
Woody Hayes did not fear turtles. (Getty Images)

There have been some crazy stories surrounding college football in the past year that will live on for a long time. From Bobby Petrino's affair to Lane Kiffin's shenanigans at USC to Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend -- those stories are sure to remain a part of college football lore for years to come.

However, those stories come up short in the insane category when compared to a joke Ohio State coach Urban Meyer shared at a coaches convention over the weekend.

Meyer spoke for over an hour, but a story he told about former Ohio State coach Woody Hayes took the cake. Meyer said that after an Ohio State loss in his first season as an assistant with the program in 1986, Hayes, who had been fired after the 1978 season, questioned the toughness of the coaching staff.

Fair warning, there is a lot about this joke you might find offensive.

"So I guess Ohio State had lost the bowl game, so Earle Bruce brings in Woody Hayes," Meyer said. "I had been there just a week and I'm thinking, 'Holy, this is coach Hayes.' I'm sitting in the back. Coach Hayes was not healthy at the time, but stands up and starts laying into the coaching staff about toughness. That we have no toughness in the program. That's why we lost the game. On and on and screaming, this old guy pounding the table. He says, 'We have no toughness, and the reason is because you're not tough. No one on this staff is tough enough, and that's a problem.'

"He reaches down and grabs this box, slides the top and there was something in the box moving around. He reaches in and he pulls out this turtle. He reaches down, this turtle's snapping and he says, 'I'm going to show you toughness.' He unzips his pants and takes out whatever he takes out. The turtle reaches up and snaps at him. You see the veins and the sweat (on Hayes). He screams at the coaches, 'That's toughness! That's f'n toughness!' He reaches down, pokes the turtle right in the eye and it falls off. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and says, 'That's the problem. We don't have anybody in this room tough enough to do that right there.

"(One assistant) raises his hand and says, 'Coach, I'd do this. Just promise not to poke me in the eye.'"

Urban Meyer then instructed the coaches in attendance to try the veal while adjusting his tie.

Via Coaching Search

For more college football news, rumors and analysis, follow @EyeOnCFB on Twitter, subscribe to our RSS Feed, college football newsletter, and get the Eye On College Football Podcast from iTunes. You can follow Tom Fornelli on Twitter here: @TomFornelli.

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