The Saturday Meal Plan fills you in on what to watch, when to watch and where to watch every Saturday during the college football season.
This is that weird weekend of college football that happens once every season. Normally because of television and the money it brings in we find that the most attractive matchups of the week take place in primetime. It's because of this that the early shifts generally feature one interesting game and a couple other games that might demand your attention should things break right.
But that's not the case this week.
No, this week you better wake up early and ready because the schedule is coming right out of the gate with the good stuff. Having multiple television screens in front of you would be advised as well, because it's easier to make tough decisions when you don't have to make the decisions at all.
Last I checked in on the Bulldogs the entire team was hurt. Like, even poor little Uga has a sprained paw, and no amount of adorable can cure it. All of which means that Missouri might actually pull off a major upset in Athens on Saturday. And that means by the time Saturday is over Missouri could have sole possession of first place in the SEC East. Which we all knew was a possiblity before the season started.
Call it the Red River Rivalry all you want, I prefer to keep my tongue untwisted and my old fashioned ways alive. IT'S THE RED RIVER SHOOTOUT, DARN IT. It's okay to call something a shootout when nobody is actually going to be shooting anybody with guns, all right? Well, okay, so there's a chance Mack Brown might be forced to face an actual firing squad should Texas lose, but I'm not here to discuss the traditions of the great state of Texas.
I understand that many people consider Kliff Kingsbury to be quite dreamy. In fact, I've heard him referred to as Kliff Dreamsbury from some. However, whether you think he looks like Ryan Gosling or not, there is absolutely no reason to be watching this game over the first two I just listed.
This game is just like Iowa State-Texas Tech but without Kliff Kingsbury, so, you know, unless you went to one of these schools or have a family member on one of the teams -- and even then, only if you really like that family member -- there are better options for you.
Okay, so this game features a couple of contrasting styles, and Indiana may be better than you think considering it beat Penn State last week. However, this game should be limited to commercial viewing as it may feature something interesting happening, but it's no more than a backup plan.
Uh, well, uhhhh, hmmmmm. I got nothing. Absolutely nothing.
With the government shutdown going on there's nothing to watch on C-SPAN so if you want to see the government actually doing something this weekend, here's your only option on Saturday morning.
Four out of five doctors agree that you should limit your Purdue intake as much as possible. The fifth doctor was unresponsive after watching Purdue.
Kansas is going to win a Big 12 game eventually, but if this is the one it does win you'll hear about it long before you need to flip this one on.
There are a lot of really good games going on during this shift, and this really isn't one of them. Sure, there's a chance something crazy could happen, but when you see the other games I'm about to list you're going to forget about this one awfully quick.
There have been five SEC on CBS games this season. In those five games there has been an average of 72 points scored and the winning teams are winning by an average margin of 7.6 points. While I'm not sure the 72 point average will be reached in this game, I'm fairly confident the final margin will be about the same. So you should be watching.
If this is your first chance of the year to watch a Baylor game and see what all the fuss is about when it comes to this offense, tune in to this one. If things go as they have all season the Bears will be on pace for 100 points come halftime and you can then flip to the second half of another game.
The last time both of these teams were on a football field they were losing to Ohio State. Now they can try and take out the frustration from those losses out on one another. I have a feeling this one could turn out to be quite the up-and-down tennis match, which is a rarity in the Big Ten.
Virginia at Maryland -- ESPNU, 3:30 p.m.
Somebody somewhere will watch this game with a very sad look on their face.
Personally I am really looking forward to this game. Washington played very well on the road against Stanford last week, and if Oregon is going to suffer a loss during the regular season this year, this is one of the most likely spots for it to happen. This one should be a lot of fun.
No. 18 Michigan at Penn State -- ESPN, 5 p.m.
This game is starting later than all the other games during this block because it wants to watch those games just as much as you do.
No. 5 Stanford at Utah -- Pac-12 Network, 6 p.m.
This could be a tough game for Stanford. The Cardinal had trouble at home against Washington last week and this week they're on the road to face a Utah team that's very tough to beat at home. Stanford also has a date with UCLA looming next week. Is there a possiblity they get caught looking ahead? Only one way to find out.
Kentucky running back Jojo Kemp gave us all some weird bulletin board material this week. He didn't come out and say that Kentucky was going to beat Alabama on Saturday or anything, but instead guaranteed that Kentucky would score against the Tide. Which, wow, reach for the stars, Jojo. This is just like that one time Babe Ruth called his shot, but instead of saying where he'd hit a home run he just said "I'm going to swing at the next pitch!"
Normally I'd say something about not having to watch this game, but like I said in the introduction, there really isn't a whole lot to choose from in primetime.
This game looked a whole lot more interesting before Utah State quarterback Chuckie Keeton was lost for the season last week. Now just thinking about watching Utah State without Chuckie just makes me sad and angry at the world.
No. 9 Texas A&M at Ole Miss -- 8:30 p.m.
Not exactly a headliner game, but of all the games in this shift this one could be the most entertaining. That's what happens when you combine Johnny Manziel and any team against Texas A&M's defense.
LATE NIGHT SNACKS
California at No. 11 UCLA -- ESPN2, 10:30 p.m.
There are only two teams in the Pac-12 that you could qualify as "bad" and Cal just happens to be one of them. I suppose there's a chance that UCLA could get caught looking ahead to Stanford next week, but I'm not even sure that would matter all that much.
Washington State used to be a Pac-12 team you could qualify as "bad" but that's not the case anymore. I know that it's not the sexiest matchup of the world, but this game could provide a very entertaining way to end your college football Saturday.