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Man vs. Woman vs. Machine: Week 10

By Tom Fornelli | Staff Writer

Man vs. Woman vs. Machine is a feature that runs every Thursday afternoon. It's here where Tom Fornelli fights against the rising tide of female empowerment and technology to ensure that men everywhere can at least claim college football is still theirs. He does this by picking a set of games against the spread against his girlfriend, Lynn, and his Playstation 3.

It's Halloween, and Halloween means costumes, including me.

What's my costume?

Why I'm glad you asked. This year I'm dressed up as FIRST PLACE. Yes, after two consecutive weeks of having a losing record I finally finished over .500 last week, even if it was just barely at 5-4-1. However, even with my mediocre week I was able to extend my lead over both Woman and Machine.

As for Woman, this year she's dressed up as a death spiral. In the last four weeks Woman has posted a record of 9-30-1 and has fallen back to third place, a full six games behind me. I assure you that this has resulted in a lot of dirty looks around the house in recent weeks, but I'm not getting cocky.


Arizona State (-11.5) at Washington State -- Thursday, 10:30 p.m. (All times Eastern)

Man: My initial read here was to take Arizona State, but the Sun Devils have not been good against the spread on the road this year. Plus there's that whole THE UNDERDOGS ALWAYS COVER ON THURSDAY NIGHT trend I'm not going to ignore. Pick: Washington State

Woman: In case any of you are worried about my mental health after the last four weeks of MWM, I can reassure you, I'm totally fine! Meanwhile, my advice to Cougar players after this game is over: If you're called in to see the coach, make some excuse and get the hell out of there. Pick: Arizona State

Machine: We have ourselves a Thursday night upset in the making, as the Machine sees Washington State winning 34-31. Pick: Washington State

Southern California at Oregon State (-5) -- Friday, 9 p.m.

Man: Oregon State didn't look amazing against Stanford last week, but I still think the Beavers are just a better team than the Trojans right now. So it's hard to pick against them at home here. Pick: Oregon State

Woman: After last Saturday, we have some angry Beavers with something to prove. Not to mention 5-1 against the spread versus the walking wounded USC. Pick: Oregon State

Machine: It's a clean sweep as Machine sees Oregon State knocking off the Trojans 27-21. Pick: Oregon State

Virginia Tech (-5) at Boston College -- Saturday, Noon

Man: Oh god I don't want to have to rely on Virginia Tech to outscore anybody by more than a single point. However, these are the Hokies, and the Hokies tend to lay an egg once a season. I'm hoping last week was that egg and we can just move on. Pick: Virginia Tech

Woman: I guess odds makers are picking Virginia Tech as a five-point favorite because they think Boston College can't score. But given the Hokie's offense, they should have considered that the Eagles only have to score once. Pick: Boston College

Machine: Yeah, the Hokies get over it, beating Boston College 35-10. Pick: Virginia Tech

Michigan at Michigan State (-4.5) -- Saturday, 3:30 p.m.

Man: This is the game Michigan State looks forward to more than any other game. And that's why the Spartans haven't just won four of the last five meetings, but have covered the spread in the last five meetings as well. Pick: Michigan State

Woman: A grudge match against the third best defense in the country in their house... Sorry, Brady, not this year. Pick: Michigan State

Machine: Big Brother reasserts his dominance in the Michigan household. Wolverines win 31-20. Pick: Michigan

Georgia (-2.5) at Florida (in Jacksonville) -- Saturday, 3:30 p.m.

Man: Both of these teams are banged up, and I suggest painkillers over cocktails, but Georgia is at least getting healthier. Meanwhile it feels like the Gators are losing a player per day. Pick: Georgia

Woman: The Bulldogs are expected to have Todd Gurley back to face a Gators defense whose dismal performance the last two weeks makes a joke of their current ranking as the No. 8 scoring defense in the nation. Without Dominique Easley, that's not likely to change and they'll lose their third game in a row. Pick: Georgia

Machine: We are all in agreement as Machine has Georgia beating Florida 24-13. Pick: Georgia

Northwestern at Nebraska (-7.5) -- Saturday, 3:30 p.m.

Man: I'm almost inclined to abstain here. Northwestern has looked awful for the last month, while Nebraska looked horrible last weekend. I might as well flip a coin. Let's see. Heads is Nebraska, tails is Northwestern......it's tails. Pick: Northwestern

Woman: Here's my prediction: After this season, Bo and Carl Pelini will pack it up, move to Long Beach, open up a chain of combination fast food/medical dispensaries called Bo Bo and Scally Wag and get a picked up as a reality show on Bravo. Pick: Northwestern

Machine: We're all on the Wildcats, though Machine still thinks Nebraska gets the 38-35 win in double overtime. Pick: Northwestern

Auburn (-9) at Arkansas -- Saturday, 6 p.m.

Man: Auburn has had this streak of facing defenses that just cannot stop the run. Well, in four SEC games this season the Arkansas run defense is allowing nearly six yards per carry. So that streak continues for the Tigers. Pick: Auburn

Woman: This would be more entertaining if they just cancelled the game, set up an octagon at the fifty yard line and let Bret Bielema try to take down Gus Malzahn. On second thought, maybe not. Pick: Auburn

Machine: The Machine doesn't talk, but I could swear I heard it say "woo pig sooie" while loading. Arkansas wins 21-17. Pick: Arkansas

Tennessee at Missouri (-11) -- Saturday, 7 p.m.

Man: I was already leaning heavily toward Mizzou before the Justin Worley injury, now it's just too obvious. Plus Tennessee has just not been good on the road this season. Pick: Missouri

Woman: After last week's excruciating loss, Mizzou needs a sacrifice to appease the SEC Gods. Do we have any Volunteers? Pick: Missouri

Machine: Missouri recovers to knock off Tennessee 28-20, but that's not good enough to cover. Pick: Tennessee

Oklahoma State at Texas Tech (-1.5) -- Saturday, 7 p.m.

Man: With a spread this small you're basically just picking straight up, and I have to give the edge to Texas Tech because it's at home and its quarterbacks have just been more consistent this season than Oklahoma State's. Pick: Texas Tech

Woman: Here's the plan: Night game. Lubbock. Instead of a black out, every Red Raider fan dresses up as Kliff Kingsbury. Cowboys get lost in the crowd's eyes. Game over. Pick: Texas Tech

Machine: Oklahoma State stays alive in the Big 12 title hunt with a 37-33 win. Pick: Oklahoma State

Miami at Florida State (-21.5) -- Saturday, 8 p.m.

Man: In its last three games Florida State has outscored ACC opponents by a score of 163-31. In its last three games Miami has outscored ACC opponents by a score of 96-74 while turning the ball over eight times. Yeah, it's going to get ugly. Pick: Florida State

Woman: Lots of Chief Osceola and Renagade love here - I have high hopes for a trip to the Big Game in January - but a 21.5 point spread? Heck, I know they could win by forty but the memory of North Carolina State lingers like the taste of a bad Appalachicola oyster. Moreover, feel like the Canes will take the diss personally and play up to their competition. FSU just misses the cover. Pick: Miami

Machine: It seems I'm alone in my thoughts, because even if the Machine doesn't have Miami pulling off the upset, it's got it hanging tough all night. Florida State wins 27-24. Pick: Miami

Man vs. Woman vs. Machine
Arizona State (-11.5) at Washington State
USC at Oregon State (-5)
Virginia Tech (-5) at Boston College
Michigan at Michigan State (-4.5)
Georgia (-2.5) vs. Florida
Northwestern at Nebraska (-7.5)
Auburn (-9) at Arkansas
Tennessee at Missouri (-11)
Oklahoma State at Texas Tech (-1.5)
Miami at Florida State (-21.5)
Last Week5-4-12-7-14-5-1
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