Notre Dame is saying good-bye to its beleaguered grass field and replacing it with FieldTurf for the 2014 season.
You might think that this would represent an opportunity for the Fighting Irish to follow in the footsteps of the many, many other college football programs who have sold off various chunks of sod or other stadium memorabilia. But since Notre Dame fans don't really much go in for "tradition" or "history" the field will be quietly disassembled and disposed of by ... no wait sorry you can buy your own piece of stadium grass for $149.95 by clicking this link to the official Notre Dame athletics site.
Each piece of grass will run 5 feet by 2 feet. In addition to six buttons on the turf sale page labeled "Buy Now," the site also includes a remarkable FAQ. Some excerpts:
How do I know this is real Notre Dame Stadium grass?
Each roll of grass comes packaged with a Certificate of Authenticity attesting to it as genuine Notre Dame Stadium grass.
Will my section of turf be completely full of grass? Or could it contain just dirt on top?
Sections of grass selected for this sale will be taken from areas of the field with the least amount of wear and consist of as much fully covered grass as possible.
Can I return my section of grass if I don't like it?
Since this is a live product, all sales are final and returns cannot be accepted.
What if my grass dies after replanting?
We cannot be responsible for the replanting nor the conditions in which the grass has to grow after replanting.