This week is guaranteed to be worse.
Or better, depending on your point of view.
|You heard right, Tim Tebow ... James Carville is calling you out. (Getty Images)|
Don't bother calling Vegas, it's a done deal. Seven matchups between ranked teams are on the calendar. Somebody has to lose. No. 8 Kentucky already did. Sure, some games are damaged (Texas-Oklahoma), but some are still great (LSU-Florida).
Talk about a poll dance. Save your singles and dive right into the Weekend Watch List.
• Just to make sure we're all straight on this: Florida and either Oklahoma or Texas could be out of their division races by Saturday night. We're talking about the No. 4 (Texas), No. 6 (Florida) and No. 8 (Oklahoma) in AP's preseason top 25.
• Couldn't get James Carville (LSU Law) to shut up this week, which should be no surprise. Clinton's former strategist rose to prominence with his rapier wit. There's only one thing he likes more than politics -- his Tigers. Carville's family has had LSU tickets since the early '50s. He can point to the place on the Tiger Stadium field where Billy Cannon fielded that fabled punt in '59.
Carville called out Tim Tebow ("If I was Mr. Tebow, I would be slightly concerned.") and lobbed a jab at USC ("I'd like to play them too, I'm sure [John David] Booty wouldn't make it to halftime.")
So let's go to the quote machine for the real analysis of Florida-LSU.
"I'm going Louie's Cafe (in Baton Rouge) for breakfast, No. 1, for my vegetarian omelet. I'll do my (XM radio) show. Then my brother is going to bring it out. Jambalaya, brisket, potato salad.
"They're hitting the sweet spot with that starting time -- 7:28 is going to be perfect. They're going to be wound up, man."
• No underclassman quarterback has ever beaten a top five-ranked LSU team at Tiger Stadium. Maybe Mr. Tebow should be concerned.
• What tow lot owner doesn't leave his fence unlocked at 5 a.m. so a Gator can come by and retrieve his girlfriend's car?'
• Florida defensive back Tony Joiner is out of limbo and on the field after authorities couldn't find enough to charge him with felony burglary. He has lost his captaincy and won't start, but nothing stands in the way of an SEC showdown.
• Meanwhile, it's not likely that LSU receiver Early Doucet will play three weeks after injuring his groin.
• All that means is that Doucet will probably line up across from Joiner on Saturday. Why should the coaches get all frank with us now?
• Maybe this is piling on, but it seems that every week in this space WWL speculates on the future of a coach we really like, Phil Fulmer.
The latest scuttlebutt says that if Tennessee loses to Georgia, Fulmer won't be long in the hot seat. Meaning, he won't have a seat to sit in by the end of the season.
"You have to realize that most of those (fans') comments are made out of emotion," AD Mike Hamilton told The Tennessean. "But you don't discount that, either."
• Lordy, Lordy look at Jordy. One of the reasons Kansas State beat Texas last week is a former walk-on from Riley, Kan. Jordy Nelson torched the Longhorns with 12 catches for 116 yards and an 89-yard punt return for a touchdown.
Kansas will have to cope somehow in the best Sunflower State Showdown to come along in years. Nelson redshirted during K-State's 2003 Big 12 title season, then didn't play at all in 2004. Credit former coach Bill Snyder for switching Nelson to receiver, where he led the 'Cats in receiving in 2005.
Manhattan, Kan., isn't the end of the world but you can see it from there. Which means that Riley, a town of 900 souls 17 miles from Manhattan, might just be the end of the world.
"A lot of Kansas youngsters are overlooked," Snyder told the Kansas City Star. "What do they say about Manhattan, it's hard to get to? If Manhattan is hard to get to, Riley is even harder to get to."
|There's definitely options for Tommy Tuberville outside Auburn. (Getty Images)|
With the situation deteriorating in College Station, Tubs looks like a perfect fit there. He once coached at Texas A&M, the school has more resources and probably better facilities than Auburn. And money? A&M has money. Heck, it's paying Dennis Franchione $2 million per year.
Tuberville reportedly doesn't speak to the trustees at Auburn. The Florida win was nice, but Tuberville isn't dumb. He knows which way the wind is blowing.
Check Vandy at Auburn, Chattanooga vs. Arkansas (in Little Rock) and Oklahoma State at Texas A&M for the next change in wind direction.
• What's all the fuss about the admission standards at South Florida (at Florida Atlantic)?
"The distribution of players is not the same for everyone," Alabama's Nick Saban told the Birmingham News this week. "We can't take (partial qualifiers) in the SEC. They can't take them in the ACC. There's a significant amount of players who don't qualify and they end up being pretty good players at some of these schools."
" ... at some of these schools ..." seems to be a clear shot at South Florida, which -- the grapevine keeps saying -- built its program with academically marginal prospects.
Sit down, Nick and let WWL lecture you for a second. It's up to each individual school to establish its own admission standards. That's why there are junior colleges and the Ivy League.
Don't go jamming Jim Leavitt and his Bulls. Players from Texas, Florida and others have routinely filled up jails just this year. And WWL missed the memo when 'Bama became the Harvard of the South. 'Bama was one of three schools in the running for running back Noel Devine when everyone else dropped out (Devine eventually went to West Virginia).
Why did Saban pop off? Check the South Florida backfield. Mike Ford and Jamar Taylor are both Alabama transfers.
• Just like you, WWL was wondering why Illinois was a 2½-point favorite against No. 5 Wisconsin.
"Probably just because Wisconsin, at 5-0, is a little bit disappointing so far," said a spokesman for Las Vegas Sports Consultants. "Illinois is overachieving to this point."
LVSC actually sent out the game early in the week as Wisconsin being a one-point favorite. But sports books can then set their own lines.
|The Trojans are banged up, but that shouldn't matter against Stanford. (Getty Images)|
• The last time WWL was at the Nebraska-Missouri game, it found itself checking IDs at Harpo's after the legendary 1997 overtime game in Columbia.
Don't remember much from that night, but WWL was pretty sure it wasn't actually working for Harpo's back then. Wonder what happened to all that cover charge money we gathered?
That was also in the middle of a 25-year winning streak by Nebraska over the Tigers. Missouri finally broke through in 2003.
This season the scales are tipped the other way. Nebraska has surrendered 1,482 yards in its last three games. USC pounded the Huskers with the run. Ball State spread them out and threw over them. Iowa State controlled the ball for more than 39 minutes.
None of those teams have the firepower of undefeated Missouri, which has the Big 12's best offense (deal with it, Texas Tech) but also faces significant psychological hurdles. Coach Gary Pinkel has not had a winning Big 12 record in his seven seasons.
• Still can't get over this one: Kansas and Missouri (both 4-0) are the only undefeated teams in the Big 12.
"I think this is the best chance for somebody to win the league that nobody would expect," Texas' Mack Brown said. "I think people are going to quit talking about us and Oklahoma."
• UCLA cornerback Trey Brown wants to beat Notre Dame, bad.
"I'm not a big Notre Dame fan, so I don't know what they've done prior, in their history," Brown said. "All I know is I don't like the green. I don't even like money this week. That color ... before I came in here I threw my wallet in the trash."
• The thing about old people is that sometimes they're so stubborn.
"We don't have a quarterback problem," Joe Paterno said of slumping Anthony Morelli, who faces Iowa this week.
Uh, yes you do, Joe. After a reporter recently called Morelli to ask about his play, the quarterback called quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno to inquire about his starting status. The Lions are 3-2, 0-2 in the Big Ten and unranked.
• At least there are no rifts at undefeated Arizona State. Sun Devils right tackle Zach Krula has no problem losing his starting spot to Julius Orieukwu. The ASU line has given up 15 sacks for the undefeated Sun Devils, who go to Washington State. Krula is working more at right guard to shore up the line.
"I like hitting people, and guard is a hitting position," Krula said. "If I have to move there because I suck at tackle, so be it."