For every action, there's a ridiculous overreaction

ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- The culture shock is over, replaced by just plain shock.

This is how it's going to be at Michigan for the foreseeable future. Think of the Wolverines right now as pimply-faced teenagers trying to sneak into a strip club. Or pimply-faced teenagers trying to win the Big Ten. In either case, they don't know what they're doing yet.

They are a little stunned in Ann Arbor now, but things will come around. (Getty Images)

That hope you held out, Michigan Fan, that square pegs could immediately slide into round holes, is diminished. Rich Rodriguez's system is in place. (At this point, stand-up comics usually count 1, 2, 3 and wait for a laugh). But seriously folks, the offense looks as uncomfortable as a farmer forced to swap his overalls for Armani. At gun point.

Freshman quarterback Justin Feagin will redshirt, essentially because he hasn't picked up the offensive quickly enough. So, we're supposed to assume Nick Sheridan and Steven Threet have picked up the scheme?

"It's not the same killer instinct that Michigan had," cornerback Donovan Warren said, "where the winged helmet, you walked out there and people were intimidated."

Warren said that before the season.

"There probably used to be a day and age where we would go out and the tunnel in that winged helmet and that would be worth 10 or 14 points," Rodriguez said. "Those days are over."

Let's pause here for the defibrillators to shock the more senior Michigan fans back to life. The truth hurts. It hurts more when Utah beats you 25-23 at home. But things will get better, although it might take a year or two. Beating Miami (Ohio) this week would accelerate the process just a little.

Think of Rodriguez's system as a late-night infomercial. "It's guaranteed to get results." It's "a time-tested formula." Just don't ask for a money-back guarantee. Somebody has to pay for those stadium upgrades.

The point is, after one week too much has been made out of everything. Ohio State fans are saying rosaries for Beanie Wells' right foot. We're not sure if Clemson is going to field a team ever again. Alabama is ready to join the NFL.

Calm the heck down. We've got a season to play. As a public service, I'm offering this rational analysis of a season that has barely started.

The overreaction: Michigan lost to a film festival.

The measured response: Park City is 30 miles away from Salt Lake City. The former hosts Hollywood hot shots, ski bums and indie slackers each year at the Sundance Film Festival. The latter is the beautiful, clean, un-Hollywood home of the University of Utah. The Utes have been a legitimate top 30-35 program basically since Urban Meyer replaced Ron McBride.