WWL is disposing of its usual sharp wit and smart --- comments this week to go old-school.
That doesn't mean smashing pumpkins instead of Smashing Pumpkins. The List still respects the true meaning of Halloween, which for WWL is a ballerina costume with its meticulously sewn sequins and beaded waist. Believe me the wand, tiara and ballet slippers make the outfit. They are to die for.
Ahem, yes, well, back to old school.
Both men are offensive line coaches, usually among the crustiest and grittiest assistants on any staff. Florida State's Rick Trickett tosses out F-bombs like they were Reese's to trick-or-treating children. Former Miami O-line coach Art Kehoe once dressed down The List in a crowded postgame locker room. A change of underwear was immediately necessary.
Searels coaches the offensive line for Georgia; Moore does the same for Texas Tech. Searels and company must hold back Florida in the Cocktail Party. Moore is trying to contain No. 1 Texas and All-American-to-be Brian Orakpo.
Both are coming at their showdowns from different angles. If Georgia can knock off the Gators, Searels will lock up the Broyles Award -- the trophy that goes to the nation's best assistant coach.
What other o-line coach is on his fourth left tackle? What other o-line coach has started four different line combinations in eight games? What other o-line coach in the country has no seniors -- or juniors?
You might have surmised by now that injuries have been a problem this season at Georgia. It started in the preseason with left tackle Trindon Sturdivant's season-ending knee surgery and went downhill from there.
How No. 8 Georgia (7-1) is still in the SEC and national championship races is a bit of a mystery. Aside from the embarrassment for one half at Alabama, the season has gone as planned.
This would be great stuff to discuss with Searels except that he doesn't speak to the media. Some think it's a carryover from his days at LSU when Nick Saban didn't let his assistants talk.
Maybe it's just an o-line fraternity thing. Searels has been known to keep his guys away from the media if they surrender too much information -- the bunker doesn't welcome squealers.
If Georgia is going to beat Florida, the offensive line is going to have to have a day. There are good signs -- the Dawgs scored their most points ever at Death Valley last week with Knowshon Moreno going off.
If the running game can get going again, that will give Matthew Stafford time to wing it in play action. WWL wouldn't want to be in Florida's secondary.
Compared to Searels, Moore is a youngster. A 1995 grad of Valdosta State, this is only his second season in Lubbock. It's a wonder what one can do with a healthy line. Moore's has surrendered only three sacks in 360 pass attempts. In addition, Tech has developed its best running game of the Mike Leach era.
Moore has at least three all-Big 12 (and possible All-American) candidates on the line -- tackles Ryland Reed and Marlon Winn and guard Brandon Carter.
But their play is not why you would have heard of them this week. It's their alter egos.
• Reed goes by "The Incredible Hulk" because of his 625-pound bench press, believed to be one of the best ever in college.
• Winn is "Fat Albert" because, well, he's an offensive lineman. C'mon.
• Guard Louis Vasquez is "Super Hero Indian." Don't ask.
• Center Stephen Hamby is "Mr. Incredible" from the Disney movie The Incredibles. His backup Shawn Byrnes is "Kool-Aid Man" because of his rotund look.
• The most menacing is Carter who is dubbed "Mankind" after the pro wrestler. Carter takes it to the extreme putting on face paint and touching up his two-tone Mohawk on game days.
"It fits him perfectly," Reed said. "Crazy and wild, all that good stuff."
These are guys you don't want near small children. They're also going to have to be the difference against Texas. The Missouri offensive line's inability to keep Chase Daniel "clean" a couple of weeks ago in Austin was the main reason the Horns won that showdown 56-31.
This is the last of a four-game swing during which Texas has played four consecutive ranked teams. This is also the biggest game in Texas Tech history. If Texas wins, the Longhorns will be on a rocket sled to the national championship game. If Texas Tech wins, the Red Raiders, incredibly, will be in the conversation.
When it comes to big games, some things never change. Start with the line and go from there. If Georgia and Texas Tech win on Saturday, you'll know why.
There won't be a ballerina among them.
Some housecleaning: Before we move on, memo to Georgia president Michael Adams, the SEC and the rest of the PC police:
It was, is and always will be, the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Eliminating the name doesn't save lives or rehab alcoholics.
Now let's kick this sucker off.
The No. 1 argument: So if Texas Tech wins, who is No. 1?
No. 2 Alabama will make a case after beating Arkansas State. So will No. 3 Penn State, although it is on the couch this week. But whatever happened to being No. 1 if you beat No. 1?
Tech is No. 7 in this week's BCS, the same place it was in 2005 when it went to Austin to face No. 2 Texas. The Longhorns won 52-17 on their way to a national championship.
More to the point, Texas was No. 5 three weeks ago when it beat No. 1 Oklahoma three weeks ago. The Horns ascended to the top spot.
Do the Red Raiders deserve the same juice if they pull off the upset?
Ta-ta tortillas: Texas won't have to worry about getting hit in the grill with dinner out in Lubbock.
Texas Tech used to have a tradition of fans' hurling tortillas after every touchdown and kickoff. The practice promptly ended after the 2003 Missouri game during which the Red Raiders were penalized two 15-yarders for unsportsmanlike conduct.
Gators stomped: In the SEC revenge takes on a whole new meaning. Florida believes it has that advantage after Georgia rushed the field in last season's Cocktail Party.
Linebacker Brandon Hicks: "Everybody wants that game back. It feels like we have something to prove. They came out and everybody thinks they intimidated us."
Offensive tackle Phil Trautwein: "They show us clips of it all the time. It's motivation to us. Every time we run stadium steps, that's what is on the video."
That's a lot of talk but after a season full of white outs, black outs and stomps, where is the football? This is high school stuff.
He could have been the best thing you ever had: We're talking to you Hogs.
No doubt, Tulsa co-offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn will be razzed this week in his team's visit to Arkansas. It was Malzahn who spent 2006 as Houston Nutt's offensive coordinator after coming over from Springdale (Ark.) High School. Malzahn essentially delivered five big-time recruits from his high school.
The coordinating thing didn't work out so well. The match was never good from the beginning. Arkansas had Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. Malzahn's passing game didn't provide enough carries for the two tailbacks. Nutt eventually took over calling plays. Malzahn left after the season.
He re-emerged at Tulsa where he has developed the nation's No. 1 passer (David Johnson) and the nation's No. 1 offense. Oh, and the Golden Hurricane are undefeated. The Hogs have a new coach (Bobby Petrino), new problems (3-5) and an anemic offense (third-worst scoring unit in the SEC).
You might say Gus owes one to Hog Nation.
Way to go, Joe: Oklahoma athletic director Joe Castiglione had the idea of honoring the Nebraska-Oklahoma rivalry as a way of healing old wounds. With the teams meeting this week, Saturday's 1971 reunion ceremony should help everyone forget the classless comment made by former Nebraska coach Bill Callahan who called Oklahoma fans, "(friggin') hillbillies."
The rivalry has lost its frequency but not its importance. The pressure is on Nebraska coach Bo Pelini after speaking to his boss, AD Tom Osborne.
"He told me if I don't win, I'm fired," Pelini said. Smiling.
Last days for Bradford? OU fans should get a good look.
CBSSports.com NFL writer Pete Prisco insists that Sooners quarterback Sam Bradford is coming out after this season. Prisco has Bradford as the No. 3 prospect in the 2009 draft.
Tommy in trouble: Well, yes, and no. There were published reports this week that Auburn's Tommy Tuberville (at Ole Miss this week) might have to fire more staff in the offseason to save his job.
Blah, blah, blah. One game will determine Tubs' future. If he beats Alabama for the seventh consecutive time on Nov. 29, forget everything else, Tuberville will be back.
Fulmer's defense: Tennessee (at South Carolina) has lost to its three biggest rivals (Florida, Georgia, Alabama) in one season for the first time in the Phil Fulmer era.
Fulmer defended his program this week but critics better watch what they wish for. If they're going to run off a national championship coach, they better replace him with a head coach with experience at a major program.
Does David Cutcliffe qualify?
The football distraction in Krzyzewskiville: Cut's Dookies (4-3) go into the month of November with a bowl on the line for the first time since forever.
A furious five-game finishing kick could be ahead with games at Wake Forest (Saturday), followed by N.C. State at home, at Clemson, at Virginia Tech and at home against Carolina.
"You get to decide who the conference champions are, or who may play in the conference title game ..." Cutcliffe said. "Then I looked at them and said, 'Welcome to November.' This is their first chance in November. How about that?"
Best of the non-BCS: Right now it's TCU, though the BCS standings don't reflect it. Of the six non-BCS schools in the BCS standings, the Horned Frogs have the toughest schedule, the best victory (over top ten BYU) and best defense (No. 1 against the run, No. 2 overall).
It's only blemish is a respectable loss at Oklahoma. TCU's season will be decided in a six-day stretch beginning Saturday at UNLV. It then plays Thursday at Utah. Win those and the Frogs (13th in the BCS behind Utah and Boise State) should be the highest rated non-BCS program.
Friday walk-through: Any question about where the strength lies in the Big 12 -- and in the country? The Big 12 South Division is 10-2 against the North Division. The top four teams in the South are all in the top nine (No. 1 Texas, No. 4 Oklahoma, No. 6 Texas Tech, No. 9 Oklahoma State).
• Baylor freshman quarterback Robert Griffin has thrown 175 passes this season without a pick. That's the most to begin a career without an interception in I-A history.
• Be advised there is a difference between the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party and the World's Largest On Campus Bong Party: One is Florida-Georgia. The other is North Texas.
• Georgia hasn't won back-to-back games in the Cocktail Party since winning three in a row from 1987-89.
• What does Kevin Goessling have left as Fresno goes to Louisiana Tech? The Bulldog kicker's 58-yard field goal as time expired last week beat Utah State 30-28. Goessling had missed three field goals each in three-point losses to Wisconsin and Hawaii. It was the longest "clutch" field goal in the nation since 2005. Clutch is defined as a kick that wins or ties a game on the last play of regulation or wins or ties a game in overtime.
• Arizona State would equal a school record with its sixth consecutive loss if it loses to Oregon State. The record was set in 1929.
• Penn State has been jumped -- by itself. The program's NCAA graduation rate is tied for second (with North Carolina). That is one spot better than Penn State's standing in the polls.