Auburn again seeking great coach -- just like it had

Go away, Tommy Tuberville. Far away. An island in the Caribbean would be nice. In fact, buying an island in the Caribbean would be perfect.

You can afford it.

Despite his 85 wins in 10 seasons, Tommy Tuberville couldn't save his job. (AP)

Take the $3 million in buyout money that Auburn owes you in 30 days, Tommy. Treat yourself and your family. Just stay away from the coaching profession for a while. You don't need the aggravation. You've endured enough of that on The Plains, where the emotions run parallel with that of a hormonal teenager.

Sedate and happy at one moment, a raging lunatic minutes later.

Don't deny it either, Auburn. Tubs is one of the best coaches in the country. You ran him off -- or the trustees or Bobby Lowder or everyone did. It really doesn't matter. He's gone now, and you're never getting him back. Good luck with getting someone just as good. In fact, if the initial reports are true, you ought to be horse whipped.

Ya'll contacted Bobby Petrino?

You're kidding, right? We've been through all this before out on a tarmac in a private plane. Auburn, you're becoming nothing more than a serial philanderer.

In the end, this wasn't about coaching ability. It was egos and politics and more egos. Meanwhile, a fine man twisted in the wind.

Eighty-five wins in 10 seasons scream that this isn't about coaching ability. The offense didn't work this season. So what? Tubs deserves a mulligan. Auburn should have let him reorganize the staff and give it another shot in '09. But apparently the egos and politicians had to stick their beaks in and demand their own version of staff changes.

As is usually the case, Auburn overestimated itself. Let's say Petrino never happened. His agent, Russ Campbell, denied there had been contact Wednesday. I'm hearing the school already has contacted the likes of Steve Spurrier and Will Muschamp, and then we all must laugh. Spurrier is called about so many openings that he ought to just rent himself out as a consultant and spare schools the disappointment of the rejection.

In case Auburn hasn't noticed, Muschamp is the coach-in-waiting at Texas. Why in the wide, wide world of sports would he leave Austin after his first season to jump into the Auburn maelstrom?

It's the same reason Tommy Tuberville is out of work today. Auburn doesn't know it's still Auburn. It can win 12 in a row in the Iron Bowl, and it will still be ranked No. 2 in the state.

Enjoy the next year, Tommy. By that time Auburn will owe you another $3 million of that $6 million buyout. You're about to take 2009 off. Relax. Recharge.

Take all the time you need. Some lucky school will be waiting.