Congress will fix BCS, oink, oink -- er, wink, wink

Freeman: Congress grilling BCS not all bad

If you hate the BCS, raise your hand. But for God's sake, don't cough.

A few members of Congress took it upon themselves to gather a large number of Americans in a confined space Friday to discuss the BCS. Brilliant.

Texas Rep. Joe Barton goes against everything the Republican Party stands for in attacking the BCS. (Getty Images)

The vice president is afraid to travel, school districts are closing, people are dying and we're on the verge of a worldwide pandemic. But, please, huddled masses yearning to be part of an eight-team playoff bracket, come to D.C. to vet the subject.

•  BCS boss: Playoff would kill bowls | Dodd: Posturing Barton

If you haven't heard, one-day hearings on the BCS are being conducted by an Energy and Commerce Subcommittee. If you haven't gotten the inference, Congress is more likely to spread swine flu than fix college football's postseason.

The news release said the subcommittee would examine "competitive fairness" and "inequitable distribution of revenue" generated from the BCS. Blah, blah, blah, we've heard it all before. What I want to know is whether the surgeon general will be on hand to distribute those masks so they don't all breathe on each other.

They can talk all they want. Just don't inhale.

Retching is common for these kinds of mundane Capitol Hill gatherings. Why ruin a good weekend by risking contraction of the swine flu sampler platter of high fever, nausea and dizziness?

This is an elaborate way to reiterate that the government has better things to do than investigate the postseason. I'm not saying college football couldn't use a dose of sanity, but priorities anyone? War, a sagging economy, global warming and epidemic rage on while we're wasting gavels on calling to order a process that will decide little.

One person familiar with the proceedings previewed them as "theater." Bad theater at that. There are 30 members on the energy subcommittee, with only a fraction scheduled to be in attendance.

Less than 3½ years ago, many of the same people were gathered in D.C. for similar hearings. The resulting headline was: "Congress Won't Legislate After BCS Hearings."

Mike Freeman seems to think any time a boot can be stuck up the rear end of the college phonies, that's a good thing. What makes you think, Mike, with everything else on our national plate that the headline above is going to change?

I'm no defender of the BCS. Neither are the Division I-A faculty representatives who released a position paper last week basically calling for a cap on major-college football. No second-semester games, they said. It's a novel thought amid all this talk about a playoff. Already, the BCS title game bumps up against the second semester for some participating schools.

Where is the faculty reps' hearing?

I'm all for postseason reform. Just name me the issues and participants. To begin with, Congress is talking to the wrong people. Any playoff would have to be approved by the I-A presidents. I'm assuming there isn't enough room or vaccine to gather 120 presidents in a germ-filled chamber.

The ranking Republican on this committee is Texas' Joe Barton. The tenets of Barton's party have to do with less government, less taxes and putting the wealth in the hands of those who earn it. On this issue, Barton is turning Obama, advocating for a sharing the wealth with poor (football) people.

And you call yourself a fat cat? Shame on you, Joe.

The coaches are willing participants in a system that continues to put money in their pockets. By that I'm referring to an item that appeared in my e-mail this week. It made my jaw drop. The American Football Coaches Association revealed it had employed the Gallup people to review the coaches poll. Essentially, a poll examining a poll.

Words likes "greatest possible accuracy" and "reliability" were tossed around by the AFCA in a news release.

Accuracy? The AFCA demands that its members vote the winner of the BCS title game No. 1 just ... because. Tell that to Texas, Utah and Southern California, which all had a claim to the title last season.

Reliability? The coaches poll is essentially a legitimized and legalized lottery that allows a coach to line his pockets by campaigning for and then voting his team into a $17 million BCS bowl.

The only better scam is Congress voting itself pay raises.

So we've come full circle back to D.C., where sickness might not be such a big threat after all. Want to know why so few subcommittee members were expected to be on hand? They're gone. There is a weekend to attack back in their districts.

In other words, by the time the hearings convened on Friday morning, most of the swine flew.