In the ongoing dinner theater known as Being Alabama only the actors change. The roles remain the same.
Bear's School went on NCAA probation Thursday for the fourth time in 14 years. Something about a textbook scandal. The details aren't really important. There are major violations, but only because Alabama is to the rulebook what Michael Vick is to pit bulls. A constant, menacing threat.
The question has become when aren't there major violations in Tuscaloosa? The latest penalties mean that 'Bama has been eligible to be an NCAA repeat offender since 1995. Alabama has been committing major violations while serving time for major violations.
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| Seriously, the Tide need to clean up their act. (Getty Images) |
By the time Alabama's latest NCAA repeat offender clock stops ticking it will be 2014. That's 19 years of -- as one infractions committee chairman once put it -- "staring down the barrel of a gun" for the program. Nineteen years of being on death row.
If this is staring down the barrel of a gun, then 'Bama is Dirty Harry. Make the Tide's day. Alabama's romp through the rules and regs is a clear indicator that SMU's death penalty in 1987 will be the one and only such punishment ever handed down. The NCAA will never again drop the hammer because in the Yellowhammer State we've seen that nobody does it better. Or worse.
And keeps playing games.
• Alabama must vacate 21 victories
Any other school would get a swat on the butt for what was announced Thursday. Apparently players were using leftover textbook money from their scholarships to buy books for friends and relatives. Big whoop.
Alabama, though, is being forced to vacate 21 victories under Mike Shula (2005-06) and Nick Saban (2007). This isn't Bobby Bowden controversial. Some Tide fans will likely say good riddance to forgettable 6-7 and 7-6 seasons in '06 and '07.
Once again, big whoop.
There seems to be, though, a new age of wrongdoing. Some sort of anarchy has broken out. We knew the NCAA enforcement staff was outmanned. Now it is being outsmarted. The NCAA cops apparently sleep. The coaches? Not so sure. They are looking for ways to cut corners whether their compliance directors like it or not.
A couple of years ago the coaches were up in arms about a ban on texting. Now we've got Twitter, and it's legal, until the next technology evolves to hound recruits.
Saban got around a spring ban on head coaches meeting face-to-face with recruits by installing a webcam.
Lane Kiffin is practically daring to the NCAA to come in and do something about his secondary violations.
Auburn didn't know when it had a good thing going. It used limousines during a recruiting sweep this offseason (legal). Then it went out and allowed recruits to T.P. trees at Toomer's Corner (perhaps illegal).
"I've seen schools with 10-12 secondary violations in a year," one compliance director said, "20-30 in a year."
There seemingly is no downside for the rules benders. If the violations are serious enough, all you have to do is get lawyered up with one of a myriad NCAA troubleshooters out there. You thought USC was in trouble? Yes, but Tim Floyd's resignation this week actually helps the Trojans. The cleansing has begun with one of the rogues out of the picture.
You might have heard that Florida State is dealing with an academic scandal. But the only reason anyone cares is that the penalties might impact Bowden's career victories. Never mind the fact that FSU is tied for second all-time on the major infractions list.
The guy you feel for is SEC commissioner Mike Slive. He sits in the middle of the slime. His noble goal was to get the conference probation free by summer 2008. Only Arkansas track penalties stood in the way, until now.
Alabama being the granddaddy of shredding the NCAA rulebook seems to be kicking off another round of unprecedented turbulence. How do we know this?
On Sept. 29, 2007 Florida State defeated Alabama in Jacksonville. In hindsight, the game might be the first in history that neither school had a chance to win. The NCAA is looking into whether both schools will vacate victories from that season.
