Tebow chaste-land: Decorum dies a little when pigskin meets 'Porky's'

HOOVER, Ala. -- Tim Tebow hasn't done the nasty.

Do you care?

Should you?

It was one of those "gotcha" moments that makes you feel like you need a shower. If you haven't heard, Florida's Mr. America quarterback admitted to being a virgin Thursday at the SEC media days. The perfect quarterback is also the perfect gentleman, premaritally speaking.

The inappropriate question was asked during a group radio interview. Tebow being Tebow, he gave it up, in a manner of speaking.

Questioner: "Are you saving yourself for marriage?"

Tebow: (laughing) "Yes, I am."

Another questioner: "Tim, being a senior, uh, what would you say ..."

Tebow: (more laughing) "I think ya'll are stunned right now. Ya'll can't even ask a question. Look at this. The first time ever. Wow. I was ready for the question; I don't think ya'll were, though."

I don't know if you were insulted. I was. I didn't come halfway across the country to have to listen to some clown try to TMZ himself into the moment.

Tebow? He's too SpongeBob SquarePants to know he was violated:

"I understand that I'm going to get some off-the-wall questions, and this was just another one."

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The statement was texted back to some reporters after Tebow wasn't allowed to speak further about the question. He was rushed down a back exit, out of the hotel when word got out that some reporters were waiting outside an interview room to follow up with Tebow about his admission.

All I wanted to ask was why the heck did Tebow answer? He's so honest and genuine that he was an easy target. He's also so honest and genuine (and maybe naïve) that he laughed it off.

The Christian Right will be happy. Anyone else with a shred of decency should be outraged.

This is "news" only because arguably the nation's best player was involved. A large part of the public can't believe he's this perfect. Skepticism is healthy and fine, but not when it comes to the timing of someone's first sex act.

I don't care if Tim Tebow has had sex or not. You shouldn't either. Critics are looking for flaws, but the search has to stop somewhere below the waist and above the thigh pads. Doesn't it?

Further proof of Tim Tebow's restraint: He laughs off the invasive line of questioning. (AP)

Maybe I'm being a prude. Maybe I'm pissed that I felt compelled to react to this. Most likely, the whole world has become Artie Lange and fart jokes.

Richard Pryor and George Carlin said inappropriate things, but they were funny and insightful. This feels like a towel fight in the shower during high school gym. It's not something you want to admit to, and you sure as hell don't want to see it.

But we've probed into every corner of his life (and Tebow has gladly provided answers), so apparently everything is on the table.

Since Tebow was outed, I'm going to out the questioner. He's Clay Travis. He used to work for us. I've met him once. He's written books on SEC and Tennessee football. He's a lawyer, humorist and columnist. I guess.

His latest job is with AOL Fanhouse. The site currently employs some of my favorite writers. Clay Travis is not one of them. Not now, because it sickens me to be reminded again that journalism has become a hobby instead of a vocation. Radio talk-show hosts who have never set foot in a locker room call themselves "journalists." Give an out-of-work linebacker an analyst job, and suddenly he's the "media."

Class and decorum are something your parents teach you. It doesn't matter whether you went to the Missouri School of Journalism or took two mass com classes at University of Phoenix.

Professionalism, though, has to be learned.

Do you know what Travis did with Tebow's answer? Wrote a 216-word blog that, by mid-afternoon Thursday, had gotten 138 responses and 27 tweets.

Nice day at work. Rest up and come back fresh tomorrow, Clay. There will be plenty of chances on Friday to ask a player if he has herpes. I'm sure the public is dying to know if Lane Kiffin ever "read" Playboy or if Les Miles watches HBO after midnight?

You broke the seal, Clay. Why hold back now?

There's a setting for all this: It's called open mike night. The rest of us, we're trying to get some work done here.