Offensive wizard, pirate-loving Leach has it made in Lubbock

IRVING, Texas -- Somewhere above Mike Leach's fireplace is the ultimate conversation piece. In one of those creepy jars of formaldehyde float Gerald Myers' "parts."

Leach shows them to neighbors at dinner parties, brags about them to friends over a cigar and a glass of wine. Showing the boys Myers' boys.

Leach has never won less than seven games at Texas Tech since taking over in 2000. (US Presswire)

Not that it matters. Not that anything matters to Texas Tech's coach. Beating Myers, his boss and Texas Tech AD, in a contentious contract negotiation was just another third-down conversion. Not too many coaches have to fight the administration after the best season in school history.

When it came down to either firing the most successful coach in history or signing their coach to an extension, Texas Tech blinked in February. At the last minute, the cantankerous Myers was cut out of the negotiations and a deal was made with the chancellor.

(By the way, this is a figurative analogy. As far as anyone knows, Myers is still a 100 percent, all-man, intact AD.)

The coach quickly got back to the office where he belongs with his clicker and game tape armed with the best job in the country. The. Best. Job.

Why?

• No pressure.

• People love him.

• He can do anything he wants.

There are fraternity rush chairmen who are more bummed out. Take away that 11-win season in 2008 and Leach has basically averaged an 8-4 season. For that he will make $2.5 million a year for the next five seasons.

The quickest way to quiet the best quote in college football is to ask him if he can sustain that pace, keep going to Cotton Bowls, maybe, finally, break through and win the South Division.

"You do the best you can," Leach said Wednesday at the Big 12 media days.

How does he duplicate the best season and biggest win in school history? He doesn't, actually. After Texas and Oklahoma get done rag-dolling everyone else, the real prize in the South Division is third place. Yes, yes, Tech technically finished in a tie for first last season. But after suffering a 65-21 thrashing in Norman for his only conference loss, Leach enraged Texas fans by saying Oklahoma should win the controversial tiebreaker.

"Well he did coach for me," Oklahoma's Bob Stoops said.

• SB Nation: Texas Tech

The real pressure for Leach is choosing between Hardee's and Arby's. The day I met him 10 years ago, he was Oklahoma's offensive coordinator reaching into a bag of fast food and watching game tape.

Not much has changed except the paycheck. Aside from some suddenly vocal boosters and administrators earlier this year, they have left him alone. It's going to be that way for quite some time now because everyone suddenly realized the alternative.

Life after Leach might be less funny but it would also be less successful.

He has become arguably the single most important figure in the school's history. Compared to Leach, Bobby Knight looks like a student manager. Under Leach, the stadium has been expanded, suites have been built. There have been nine consecutive years of bowls.

His best lineman (Brandon Carter) looks like a pro wrestler. The coach himself has a pirate fetish. Yeah, and he's an offensive genius with enormous equity built up.

Here's what makes the deal so great: No one at Tech is going to fire off a nasty blog if Leach goes back to being 8-4 next season. At least they shouldn't. A winning percentage of .660 is the standard at Tech. That's Leach's success rate in his nine seasons and roughly equals 8-4.

The man is getting $2.5 million per year with complete control and power and a ton less pressure than his peers.

Being weird and quirky brought 60 Minutes to Lubbock. The four-letter brought its opulent set to West Texas. This is somehow bad?

The school finally gave up its dogged fight for a six-figure buyout and settled for -- nothing. That's right. Nothing. The coach can leave whenever he wants without penalty. The tradeoff is that his guarantee goes from 40 percent of his salary to 16 percent. Leach would rather call football plays than quibble. His agent, powerful Gary O'Hagan from IMG, did the deal after Myers and Tech tried to strong-arm the coach.

In the end, Tech gave up its misguided attempt to control Leach's marketing rights. The administration was going to the wall over $10,000 fees Leach was getting to address Boy Scouts. The coach is proud of being a former Eagle Scout.

Leach spent one season as Bob Stoops' offensive coordinator before heading to Lubbock. (US Presswire)

Leach is doing a book. If he was smart, he would develop his own website. That's where the serious money is these days. Thepirate.com would sure be a lot more entertaining than, say, frankbeamer.com.

All it centered around Leach's alleged wandering eye. After the career year, he interviewed with Washington. He would have killed to get UCLA the previous year. His name was attached to Notre Dame. That was just in the last two years.

It might be unsavory that a coach angling for an extension and a raise is playing both ends against the middle. That is until you consider that Leach's whole brain is wandering. That beautiful mind is a sailboat reacting to the winds, changing all the time.

When things really got ugly, the Tech administration threatened to fire him. Instead of getting mad, Leach got philosophical.

That's fine, he told a friend, I'll just move on.

Just like that, after almost 10 years. That's all we wanted to know, whether Leach was cashing in on mostly mid-level bowls or was really, truly a free spirit. It took a while but we found out on Wednesday. Leach did his usual Criss Angel act at the Big 12 media days, mesmerizing reporters with his playoff proposal (64 teams), dazzling microphones with his lounge act.

"There ain't nothin' unique about what I'm sayin'," he said. "It becomes the unmainstream when I'm involved."

But talk about that contract and Leach stops cold. It should have never gotten to the point that a coach was about to be fired after a 11-2 season.

"I never felt like that [relationship] totally changed," Leach said. "You just wait it out and keep working."

But how did it get so ugly?

"Too many cooks in the kitchen," he said, "and not everybody under the same roof."

Huh?

This isn't just a coach. This is Jack Kerouac, spaced-out on life, man, employed at one of the few places in the country that can put up with his quirks. When I asked a BCS conference-level school's AD about Leach's interview at that school, the AD was impassive. Nothing wrong with Leach, just not the right fit.

Which is great for Tech and weird for the school that fought him so much. They're stuck with each other and despite the earlier rancor, it's not a bad marriage.

With the new deal, Leach can look for jobs and maybe take one someday without impunity. Do you know what that means in terms of freedom and security?

• Tommy Tuberville won 85 games in 10 seasons at Auburn. The administration got tired of him and ended up hiring a guy with five career wins (Gene Chizik).

• Jeff Jagodzinki defied his AD at Boston College and interviewed with the Jets. Gene DeFillipo made good on his promise and fired Jagodzinski for the transgression after two seasons.

Leach? His boss became an organ donor.

Leach says there are at least three other Big 12 coaches who have better deals. Money-wise, sure. Mack Brown has contract leverage because he has won a national championship and conference titles. Leach has an advantage because he made a city and a region feel good about itself without delivering so much as a division title. (OK, ok, a tri-division title, maybe.)

For that he makes $2.5 million, develops quarterbacks, draws up plays and lets his agent handle the complicated stuff. What a wonderful world whether it's forever or for now.

"I think I'm absolutely in a great place," The Pirate said.