Lousy LSU-'Bama rematch beats nearly everything else in sordid 2011

by | CBSSports.com National Columnist
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So when you're all done complaining that LSU didn't do enough to make the national championship game entertaining for you, perhaps you can take a moment to remember that given the year in college football, Alabama-LSU was a positive benefit to all mankind.  

And what's more, it could be worse in 2012. It's hard to imagine, but there are worse things that could happen than what we all saw and heard in 2011.  

Like more victims at Penn State.  

Like finding out that the new administration at Penn State knew as much about Jerry Sandusky as the one that was just replaced.  

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Like Joe Paterno finally holding that press conference he's been promising, and then making it worse for himself.  

Like a similar scandal somewhere else.  

Like Nevin Shapiro with new stories to tell.  

Like another Nevin Shapiro servicing a different school.  

Like more realignment rumors.  

Like more realignment rumors in which Texas is the major player.  

Like more realignment rumors that require Notre Dame to actually do something other than sit back and wait for offers.  

Like a vote-trading scandal in the coaches poll.  

Like a vote-fixing scandal in the Harris Bowl.  

Like collusions between the six computers.  

Like Urban Meyer somehow forgetting all the things about perspective he said he learned in his year away from coaching.  

Like Brady Hoke turning out not to be the real deal after all.  

Like Craig James finding a whole new reason for people to dislike him.  

Like the Pac-12 being no more entertaining with USC than it was without USC.  

Like Boise State finding that kicker, going undefeated, and not only getting BCS-hosed again, but getting paired up with Kansas in the Mercy Rule Bowl.  

Like the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl not given a better match for 2012 than UCLA-Illinois, just to even the scales a bit.  

Like kickers getting blamed for their team's failings even more than they were in 2011.  

Like Todd Graham getting another new job.  

Like Paul Finebaum getting a call from someone saying he's just finished a prank "that'll make Harvey Updyke sit up and take notice."  

Like more recruits disappointing/humiliating their parents on national television.  

Like rumors of recruit kidnapping.  

Like rumors of cannibalism.  

Like rumors of murder for hire.  

Like rumors of murder for hire in defense of a point-shaving scheme.  

Like rumors of murder for hire in defense of a point-shaving scheme at Wisconsin-Whitewater.  

(Sorry. Got a little overheated there.)  

Like more whining about a playoff system while the real reforms get ignored.  

Like no progress on a playoff system.  

Like having to listen to the same old arguments for and against the playoff system for the 15th consecutive year.  

Like the NCAA still refusing to tell its playoff critics, "We make more money this way, we have a thousand accountants who can prove it, and all that other crap we spout has never mattered to us. Is that a good enough reason for you?"  

Like its critics still rebutting with, "But I, with no accounting degree at all, would rather attack your nonsense reasons as hypocrisy even though I too know what the real reason is."  

Like a concussion scandal, to keep the sport in line with its equally pigheaded brethren.  

Like a concussion scandal that gets overlooked because it's too much fun to argue about the playoff system.  

And lots of other things I don't have the inherent evil to imagine this soon after an Alabama-LSU game. But I'd take 10 more of those while strapped to a chair with my eyes nailed-gunned open than anything on this list. And so, if you still have possession of your soul, would you.    

Ray Ratto is a columnist for Comcast SportsNet Bay Area.com

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