Never trust humans with a playoff.
That's the conclusion after SportsLine.com college football producer J. Darin Darst posted his playoff bracket a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, the same old 16-team format, 11 conference champions and five at-large teams seeded by their BCS standing.
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| Florida State QB Chris Rix takes smart pills to carry the 'Noles deep into the playoffs.(AP) |
Leave it to the carbon-based organisms and look what happens. With apologies to Mr. Darst, Miami (Ohio) making it to the second round is a little suspect.
With that in mind, we let the trusty PlayStation 2 handle things -- with some embellishments. It took some wrangling (like getting Maurice Clarett the heck out of the lineup), but the old NCAA 2004 came up with what I think is a credible result.
Keep voting humans, we've got a parallel universe playoff right here determined by a faceless, objective machine. Sounds a little like the BCS, no?
Anyway ... no peeking to the exciting conclusion.
First round
No. 1 Oklahoma 45, No. 16 North Texas 10 at the Sun Bowl in El Paso, Texas: A crowd of only 23,000 shows mostly because Oklahoma fans figure an easy victory and driving to Chicago is actually a shorter trip than going to El Paso. Jason White is yanked early in the second quarter with the Sooners coasting 45-0.
No. 9 Miami 48, No. 8 Tennessee 10 at the Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Fla.: Five Hurricanes are declared ineligible before kickoff after missing the exit to Alltel Stadium. That holds the score down as Miami gets revenge for that 10-6 stinker against the Vols earlier in the season.
No. 5 Ohio State 26, No. 12 Georgia 18 at the Alamo Bowl in San Antonio, Texas: Title sponsor MasterCard gives away free plastic to the 12,536 who dare show up. Ohio State fans max them out on a chicken fajita binge after the game on the Riverwalk.
No. 4 Michigan 27, No. 12 Boise State 20 at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis, Tenn.: Defeated Volunteers stop by on their way back from Jacksonville and dress out trying to help the Broncos. It almost works.
No. 3 Southern California 31, No. 14 Utah 15 at the Insight Bowl in Phoenix, Ariz.: Trojans rush out to a 31-0 lead. Urban Meyer pads his Nebraska resume by "running up" the score in the fourth quarter.
No. 6 Texas 49, No. 12 Miami (Ohio) 13 at the Peach Bowl in Atlanta: Chance Mock throws for four touchdowns, all to Roy Williams, who catches five total for 233 yards. Chance Mock? Somebody get me a new disc.
No. 7 Florida State 30, No. 10 Kansas State 28 at the Independence Bowl in Shreveport, La.: This is the biggest game Shreveport has seen since Evangel Christian won its last state title.
No. 2 LSU 35, No. 15 Southern Miss 14 at the Outback Bowl in Tampa: Matt Mauck completes 16 of 21 for 206 yards. Southern Miss quarterbacks are sacked four times.
Second round
Miami 21, Oklahoma 17 at the Fiesta Bowl in Tempe, Ariz.: Jarrett Payton scores his second touchdown with 47 seconds left for the game-winner. Miami rallies from 10-7 and 17-14 fourth-quarter deficits to win it. Brock Berlin is 21 of 37 for 333 yards and a touchdown.
Michigan 36, Ohio State 13 at the Capital One Bowl in Orlando, Fla.: Good, old Big Ten football in -- Central Florida? Out of their element, the Buckeyes are held to four first downs and 102 total yards. At least the pregame bar brawl in Disney World's Pleasure Island was cool.
Texas 31, Southern California 28 at the Holiday Bowl in San Diego: Dusty Mangum kicks a game-winning 34-yard field goal as time expires. USC rallies from a 28-14 fourth-quarter deficit only to have a stake driven through its heart. Roy Williams catches seven for 138 yards, giving him 12 catches for 271 yards and five TDs in the two playoff games. Vince Young sees Chance Mock off at the airport before taking over.
Florida State 62, LSU 7 in the Cotton Bowl in Dallas: The Tigers commit seven turnovers, as the Seminoles run back two Matt Mauck interceptions for touchdowns. LSU tickets flood the market in New Orleans. The Sugar Bowl uses pumps to keep its bottom line above water.
National semifinals
Miami 20, Michigan 17 at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, Calif.: Kellen Winslow announces he is not only a soldier, but he's joining the Navy SEALS after the game. Then he blames ESPN, Fox, CBS and ABC for getting it all on camera. For the second consecutive game, Payton scores the game-winner, this time on the first play of the fourth quarter. Celebrating Miami players turn Pasadena into the Tournament of Poses.
Florida State 27, Texas 7 at the Orange Bowl in Miami: Notice a trend here? Florida football is not dead yet. Chris Rix throws three touchdowns. Vince Young is sacked six times. Can the world stand another FSU-Miami game? It will have to.
National championship at the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans
Florida State 47, Miami 21: The seventh-seeded Seminoles give their dad-gum coach quite a retirement present. They rush through the bracket, outscoring their opponents by an average of three touchdowns. Rix takes smart pills or something, throwing for 985 yards and 11 touchdowns in the final three games.
Bobby Bowden ends a dramatic post-gamer by naming son Terry his successor, which is news to Terry. He has to take a pay cut from ABC, but reluctantly accepts, naming John Saunders his assistant head coach and Craig James his offensive coordinator. Papa Bowden goes off to consult for Ken Burns on Civil War documentaries.
KW II declares for the NFL as does half of Miami's defensive line, which means, of course, the 'Canes will be preseason No. 1 in 2004.
