Who wants the grief? Who wants the angry e-mails? Who wants calls in the middle of the night from Cletus in Tallahassee?
Because that's what this week of fun in the -- son-of-a-bleep we're stuck in a conference room -- is all about.
Rounding up a new set of voters to blame for the BCS.
The game's I-A commissioners gather in Scottsdale, Ariz., this week for the annual BCS meetings to rework the now seven-year old process. Again. A bedrock of the BCS, the Associated Press poll, is no longer a part of that process. The most trusted poll on the planet is R.I.P. -- relaxing in peace.
Its relevance might be diminished but at least its conscience will be clear. AP's clients won't be perceived as de facto distributors of $150 million in annual bowl money. Or at least not as much.
Now the question becomes, who's in line to get the Jane Fonda treatment? In other words, the latest round of humans to be rounded up to form the BCS' poll better be ready to be spat upon. Or woken up at midnight, or attacked on the Internet, or worse.
The commissioners will hear presentations from the National Association of Collegiate Directors of Athletics (NACDA) and National Football Foundation. It seems one or both will contribute to a hybrid human poll to replace AP.
There is talk of a mix of retired college administrators, athletic directors and media. But do the commissioners really know what they're doing? Do the new voters people really know what they're getting into?
They will become public figures like they never were before. We're talking J.J. Redick level here. Haters of the Duke guard caused him to change his cell phone number four times. What do you think tech-savvy BCS haters are apt to do?
Mobile Register columnist Neal McCready drew attention to himself -- maybe that was the point -- by ranking Texas No. 9 going into the final weekend of the season. That was the lowest position of any of the 65 AP voters.
Until moving Texas up dramatically at the end of the season, he was the scourge of the Lone Star State.
Paul Gattis of the Huntsville Times, tired of an Auburn outcry over his voting the Tigers No. 3, wrote a witty, well-crafted column poking fun at get-a-life fans. He was admonished in print by his editor for being insensitive.
Insensitive? Insensitive is an editor hanging out to dry an employee for doing his job. Next time ombudsman-breath, try wasting newsprint on something important like the mayor's race.
