It's true, he has become college basketball's most recognized voice. But try something for me, please: Next time you're driving a car, roll down your window. What's the most recognizable voice on the road? The car missing the muffler.
That's Vitale. He's loud. He's persistent. He talks so much, he can't stop.
Witness that recent incident from a Florida restaurant, where he told a fellow diner some damaging remarks UF coach Billy Donovan had made to Vitale "in confidence." As if that weren't enough, Vitale didn't realize his cell phone was on, that he was talking to a live radio audience in Knoxville, Tenn. Truth is, that was most insightful thing Vitale has said in years. If it was anyone but Vitale, I'd have felt bad for the guy. Because it was Vitale, I just felt like laughing.
If I sound resentful, well, you're damn right. I resent the fact that I can't watch marquee games on ESPN without having to endure his inanity or mute the sound. Those are the only options. Close-captioning doesn't work, because a transcript of the disjointed nonsense coming from Vitale's mouth might cause blindness.
Still, there is momentum for Vitale to get into the Hall of Fame. This is the third time since 2004 he has been a finalist, apparently because voters believe he transformed college basketball into the monster it is now. He didn't do that -- ESPN did. ESPN has aired thousands of games, and though Vitale has carved out a baffling niche for himself, it is the force of ESPN, not the farce of Vitale, that has uplifted college basketball.
So here's what it comes down to for me. The next time I'm at the Basketball Hall of Fame, I don't want to go from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to Red Auerbach to Dick Vitale. I don't want to go from Larry Bird to Julius Erving to Dick Vitale. Connie Hawkins to Pete Maravich to Dick Vitale? Are you serious?
And think of the guys who haven't made it, who apparently won't make it.
• Artis Gilmore led a joke of a basketball school, Jacksonville, to the 1970 NCAA final and then scored nearly 25,000 points in the ABA and NBA. He's not in there.
• Bernard King averaged 25 points at Tennessee and 22.3 points in the NBA. He's not in there.
• Paul Westphal is the greatest player in Southern California history, is one of the most creative scorers in NBA history, and reached 150 victories faster than any NBA coach but Phil Jackson. He's not in there.
Dick Vitale? In the Hall of Fame? This is a cause worth fighting. The Hall is sacred and mystical, like an ancient redwood. When one of those gets threatened, some guy comes along and chains himself to the tree.
Today, I'm that guy. The Hall of Fame is that tree. Dick Vitale is the chainsaw. Only harder on my ears.
