Easy as pie, Red Sox fans descend to No. 1

Boston Red Sox fans have made it onto television and into blogs with several recent outstanding acts of pizza throwing, beer tossing and middle finger how-do-you-dos.

Thus it is official: Sox fans have climbed and crawled their way to the top as the most obnoxious fans in the country.

Recipe for trouble: Red Sox fans and beer. (AP)

It is a temporary title of course, because so many other fan bases are just a post-championship riot or sofa burning away from stealing the Sox's well-earned title.

And certain fans at Arkansas, with their truly repugnant use of the Freedom of Information Act to snoop on a head coach's cell phone records like trench coat-wearing perverts, are crawling on all fours to gain entrance into the top five.

But right now, Sox fans, you are on top. Congratulations. Please thank the academy and do not celebrate by throwing debris or beating anyone up.

The only reason Red Sox fans are not the most obnoxious in the world is because in Europe there are hooligans and Third Reich wannabes who begin stadium riots and attack dark-skinned people. Even whites with a tan get a beat down over there.

In other parts of the world, soccer fans kill game officials, so the Red Sox title is strictly in the North American, non-lethal category.

Nevertheless, you should be proud, Boston baseball faithful. You represent America's best and brightest.

Because over the past several weeks you have outdone yourselves with one splendidly nasty act after another.

We have all seen the video of one Red Sox fan tossing a slice of pizza at another. By the way, why do such a wasteful act? Was the pepperoni uncooked? Did the cheese not melt in your mouth? What did the poor slice of pizza do to warrant such a flagrant abuse of perfectly good bread?

That was bad, but a recent video I first saw on Deadspin.com -- which they had bogarted from the blog The Tao of Stieb -- showed Red Sox fans in all of their obnoxious glory.

The video takes place at a recent Toronto game, and visiting Red Sox fans were irritated about something. I'm not exactly sure what got these Red Sox fans so angry -- quick guess, alcohol? -- but the Red Sox fans got mean real quick.

Keep in mind they are in Toronto. They are on foreign soil. Clearly these Red Sox fans are not seeking a Canadian ambassadorship.