Malicious El Delicioso always suspected some of the people who run the goon-filled UFC, as well as MMA fans in general, were really thin-skinned wimps and wanna-be bullies despite all their tough talk.
This week came proof. After one of my columns criticized your sport as being nothing but violent stupidity and empty calories, you fans, and some of you UFC higher-ups, made my month by complaining in droves.
It was lovely. It was a thing of beauty to MMM's eyes. Thousands of letters from the supposed tough-guy league and alleged hard-ass fans. Letters with myriad misspellings, personal insults, extremely racist language, flawed logic and boo-hoo whining.
The responses demonstrated that MMA fans are ill-equipped to take criticism due to a massive inferiority complex.
Is that phrase copyrighted by the way? Just checking.
(My boss is standing by for another round of your calls. He tells MMM that he can be reached at 954-BUZZ-OFF.)
Now, onward to the delicious mail.
"Your disdain for UFC wouldn't have anything to do with it being a white-dominated sport as opposed to boxing, would it. Your Hailey Berry vs Corty Cox analogy may prove this subconscious critque true."
What MMM has a disdain for -- aside from your racism, UFC fan -- is your horrific spelling. Yuck.
"your a true poor sport becasue why boxing sucks and its BORING YOU F----- C--- ID LOVE TO SEE A BOXER TRY TO STAND WITH A TRUE FIGHTER ALL AROUND FIGHTER LIKE A UFC FIGHTER THEN WE WILL SEE WHO POSSESES MORE SKILLS OH BUT WAIT THAT WONT HAPPEN AND WHY BECAUSE BOXERS DONT FIGHT FOR HONOR ANYMOROE JUST MONEY AND THATS WHY BOXING F----- SUCKS JUST LIKE YOU have a good day"
Even his profanity was misspelled. Oh, and you have a great day as well, lover boy.
"You f----- ignorant n-----, UFC fighters are much more well rounded and more talented then any plain old boxer, i hope boxing never dies because it is an amazing sport, but dont get pissed off becuase it evolved into something better with more talented contestants. You are a f------ idiot if you dont like MMA"
Racist and cannot punctuate. You UFC fans sure are a tolerant lot.
This is from someone who called himself Frank.
"First off let me tell you this. I was very offended by your article bashing us Mixed Martial Artists. Calling us thugs and what not. I'm sure you know that EVERY sport has it's thugs, earbiters or whatever you call them. Second of all we mixed martial artists have alot of pride and dignity that we carry with us cause of the fact that our sport demands much more work,skill and thought than your boxers. We are all around athletes that have to be way more in shape than the average boxers. We train in all of the martial arts, wrestling, kickboxin, boxing, jiu-jitsu whatever it may be. We HAVE to know all of it otherwise we don't stand a chance in our sport. For some punk ass writing columnest to be bashing us. Let me just say, You've gome some nerve and some balls to be talking the s--- you do. I would love to get you in one of OUR rings and show you just how good of athletes we really are and what good sportsmanship we've got. Now go bash that thug ass n----- Maywe! ather! Ever see how he acts? Just like Tyson that little thug ass n-----! Oh yeah this whole note I'm sending you is just saying F--- YOU!"
How about that? Another racist UFC fan that cannot punctuate or spell. What a coincidence!
"Mike you're a faggot."
Racial slurs, homophobia. Love these UFC fans. What's next, a UFC fighter challenging me to a fight?
"hey mike i hope u get this as a UFC fighter for Extreme combat, in huntsville al, i challenge you to a fight. I'll show you that skill is used in this sport. its guys like u with closed minds that give UFC a bad name. I'll tell u what pick a date the ref and the place and u get in the ring with me. it takes skill and more training than boxing in order to do what we do. so u can talk the s--- so back up.. u are really good at running your mouth lets see if u can back it up. ... you get to set the rules. I mean u even get to pick the ref, place, and date. If u do take the challenge all i ask if i win u write a letter of apology to all the ufc fighters and post it on here. so what do u want if u win? so make sure u contact me. when u are ready. oh and just think about it if u when man. You think u are well know now. but i! understand if u don't take the challenge i mean what do u have to prove or is that u just don't want to lose or is it the fact that u know u are wrong for sayin what u said."
I mean, seriously, you cannot make this stuff up. I call the fighters Neanderthals and brutes and one of them challenges me to a fight instead of responding with an intellectual argument. Just ... wow.
By the way, tough guy, when you type, you are supposed to use your finger, not your toes.
"There may be as many as 10 people on this planet that agree with you. No belt-carrying boxer could win an MMA fight on any given day. That's a fact."
Oh, no. There are billions of us dissenters! Billions!
"You better wake up and embrace mma or you will be writing about middle school girls softball games in the near future."
Excellent. CBS just signed the TV rights to the National Middle School Softball League.
"You really are a f----- ignorant n-----, we should have kept you in slavery so you wouldn't be walking around pretending to be a sports writer when you don't really appreciate the grace of MMA ... "
Maybe the head honchos at the UFC and Spike TV (I love all the Star Trek you broadcast, by the way) will contact some of these racist, foul-mouthed fans, instead of bugging me.
Because no bunch of mail received by Malicious has ever contained so many racial slurs.
"what an idiot!!!!! N-----!!!!"
I can give you his e-mail address, UFC, so you can reach your classy fans.
"After an article such as this I am surpirsed that you are employed let alone a columnist. If I could, I would get my buddy Brandon to put you in a rear naked choke."
Do I have to be naked?
"What the f--- are you talking about, you waste of sperm? How is Mixed Martial Arts barbaric or ghetto fabulous, or the fans that watch it ignorant? It takes alot of skill to participate in MMA mixed martial arts, dumbass, and these guys would f--- you and your boxers up. That being said, I love boxing. F--- yourself."
Such language, sir. I'm going to tell your mother.
"Boxing is gay, MMA is where its at."
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
"Just to let you know...There are organized efforts to spam your email inbox underway at this moment. I have seen the members of several large UFC forums post about deluging you with anti-boxing. ... Anyway, just wanted to give you the heads up. I like both sports, but those guys are acting like ass----s, which really underscores your points about that sport."
It's like a huge, screaming exclamation point, isn't it?
"You may be the most ignorant s--- I've ever had the misfortune of running across. If you are interested in actually learning something about MMA, I am extending an invitation for you to come down to my gym. I'm sure the thugs would be lining up to educate you on the finer points of the sport."
That sounds like a thinly veiled threat. Or is it even all that thinly veiled?
"you might be the dumbest n-----, boxing and ufc are both fighting ufc is just better no one cares about watching boring ass boxing any more...you buck tooth blue gum fagget"
These UFC fans, class, all the way.
"Youre Fuken Stupid, You Black piece of s---! Why would you state the the UFC is Evil, I ,ove the UFC, and by posting your ignorance s---,in public you are changing other peoples toughts about the sport, without even looking at it. Black people like you make me sick.. go backk to africa and f--- yourself, or a f------ dog. You F------ gay author."
Nothing but class. Great speller, too.
"get over yourself you n-----!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Class all the way.
MMM says goodbye to all of this silly fun.
And to UFC management, if you want to contact some of these fine, upstanding citizens who wrote me, the dozens, and maybe hundreds, who called me every racist word in the book, these classy fans you speak of, who watch this classy sport you act like is flawless, just drop a brother a note.
More than obliged to help.