Hate Mail: True genius never appreciated in its own time
Updated June 7
Last week I was good. No, last week I was great.
• Called eyelash-batting Billy Donovan a skank, causing Florida fans to rip me on the grounds that Donovan wasn't going to leave for the NBA. Four days later he took the Orlando job. (Sort of.)
• After Game 3 of the NBA Eastern Conference finals I wrote that LeBron James was capable of stuff even Michael Jordan couldn't do, causing Jordan fans to rip me. Four days later LeBron scored the final 25 points of Game 5. Jordan never did that.
• In between, after Game 4, I said the Pistons were done. Detroit fans ripped me, saying the series wasn't over. Two games later, it was over. Detroit tanked it for the final four games.
So I was looking forward to the accolades this week's Hate Mail would bring.
That'll teach me.
From: Sinbad
You're still an a--hole.
Right.
From: Hans W.
LeBron is way overrated and you are a dork based on the articles you write. I hope and plan to run into you someday. I am 5-foot-10, 250 pounds, and I bench press 400.
You, run into me? At 5-10 and 250, the only thing you "run into" is Dunkin' Donuts.
From: Jeff, Penn State
Your article on the Pistons is complete garbage and you have no idea what you're talking about. If you lived within 100 miles of me I would drive to your house and punch your face in the face.
I dare you to say that again.
From: Jeff, Penn State
I hope I see you in the street one day so I can knock you out.
I'll be damned. You did say it again.
From: Justin
One question: Do you present yourself as a journalist or the writer of an opinion column?
Neither. I think of myself as more of a Wikipedia entry.
From: Gary
You talk about 'Sheed's mouth? It's only 1/10 the size of yours -- and your brain is smaller than that.
Someone let their fourth-grader on the computer again.
From: Yossel
What about people who don't hate you but simply feel sorry for you? Is this the right forum to send you e-mails?
I'll take any emotion but apathy.
From: Brad
You wrote a book on Kentucky basketball?
From: CT Hoosier
All these attempts to act like you don't want to attend sporting events with me are failing. It's devastating to both of us that I won't be meeting you in San Antonio this year, so we must make alternative plans ASAP. And if you could institute an evening Dribble to complement your early morning writings, I'd be happy as could be.
I didn't think I'd ever say this to a human being, Hoosier Stalker, but I think you like me too much.
From: Garrick Ditsky
I want to be a sports writer. How do I get started?
I slept my way to the top, but I don't recommend it. Sports editors are by their nature an ugly bunch.
From: Ryan
I'm a Moderator on the forums of a little-known site called (name deleted to deny the free publicity). Your article has caused an uproar there, and for good reason because your (deleted) biased article reeks of (deleted).
Wow. A message board Moderator, writing to little ol' me? What a thrill.
From: Michael K.
What do you make a year?
Ah, my agent friend from last week's Hate Mail. Welcome back. Put it this way: I earn the kind of money you'd stab people in the back to make.
From: Andrew R.
Quoting Eminem on your bio and in Hate Mail? Beautiful. You two look alike, hate alike, and share the same gift for pissing people off and getting away with it. Is he your long-lost twin or something?
I think he's obsessed with me.
From: Doug W.
How do you elicit so much venom from folks?
Just lucky I guess.
From: Philip H.
I looked you up the other day. Of the 61,600 results on Google, I found one worth reading. Your interview with TheBigLead.com. The first question they asked you was: "Why are you such a d---?" Your response: "Truth is, I'm not a d---. I'm blunt, irascible and honest. OK, so maybe I am a d---." Let me help you, Gregg: You are definitely a d---.
Only 61,600 results on Google?
From: Mat Carruthers
I never knew coming two assists shy of a triple-double was a bad game. You should be fired.
I meant it as a compliment: LeBron is so good, he can put up 20 points, 14 rebounds and eight assists and look bad doing it. At least I think I meant it as a compliment.
From: Hawkins
You are a no-talent hack with zero credentials. I just lost five minutes of my life reading your lame, poor excuse for an article. Please throw yourself down a flight of stairs.
Hahahahaha.
From: Jay
Come on Doyel. I know you're just giggling over there in your chair after this Billy Donovan thing with Orlando. Tee up and hit this one out of the park, will ya?
I don't do requests.
From: Dave
Why are you not all over Billy D for not honoring a signed contract and ruining Anthony Grant's recruiting ability in the process?
I don't take suggestions, either.
From: tristan
I need the Dirk Nowitzki article you wrote a few weeks back! I am bragging about it to all my co-workers and I need to show them. It was so perfect. Where can I find it?
And I don't fill orders. (OK, OK. But only this once. Don't tell anyone.)
