Hate Mail
Updated July 12
This is no exaggeration: I was roughly 10 seconds from death last week, an experience I pursued and then published. After such an ordeal, I expected a concerned or even sympathetic tone this week from readers.
Instead I got Glenn.
Ah, screw it. There's a reason we call this thing Hate Mail.
From: Glenn
I can't wait until your stupid curiosity leads you to shoot up with heroin or compels you to know what it feels like to get shot in the head with a .38. Don't dance around the topic of suicide -- if you want to end your life, just do it. We don't need to read about your failed attempts.
You'd rather read about my successful suicide attempt?
From: Per H.
Your insightful article on gambling got me thinking. How about all the marriages that die because the husband is more interested in sports than his spouse? What about all the kids that grow up fatherless, because daddy is more interested in reading sports articles than being a real parent? As you have for gambling, please give a voice to these crimes as well.
The man has a point. Reading me can be addictive.
From: clayton
You're a moron. Biggio absolutely deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Longevity is part of what makes a player great. Eddie Murray had very few great years, but he's still in. So is Dave Winfield and Paul Molitor. Are those guys also unworthy of being in the HOF?
Murray was a top-five MVP candidate for almost a decade; he's in. Molitor was a career .306 hitter who was hitting .300 into his 40s, not just hanging on to get 3,000 hits like Biggio; he's in, too. Winfield? He hung around forever, put up great career numbers but only had a dominant season or two. He gets in -- but barely. Biggio? Out. But barely.
From: Andrew R.
Your article on the WSOP was one of your best ever. Even better than your article last Christmas about a guy who donated his kidney to save a teammate. See what happens when you use your powers for good? Keep this up and people might stop hating you so much.
It's already working. Did you see the poll we ran, asking readers which CBS SportsLine.com columnist they'd prefer to see choked unconscious?
From: Anthony E.
After almost 12,000 votes in the columnist choke-out poll, you are a distant second behind Prisco, and barely ahead of Mejia. Are people going soft on you?
I know, I know. I've made it my life's work to be the most disliked person here, and I can't even get that right? What a complete and total failure I am. Someone choke me. Please?
From: Owen
I was wondering if you know where or if I can find the audio from Dan Patrick's show where you guys had it out. I never actually got a chance to hear it and I just really, really hate Dan Patrick. Tell me it's out there.
Sorry. I found it on the Dan Patrick Show archives, but you have to be a member of ESPN Insider to play it, and I'm assuming you're far too cool to pay for Internet content. Which is why you read me at CBS SportsLine.com. I'm free. But I did kick his condescending butt.
From: warB_panthers
In a mail bag a few weeks back you guessed that I was mentally ill in some way. To set you straight I'm actually a 22-year-old Englishman with no history of mental instability. I'm an aspiring scriptwriter, but my current job is authoring porn DVDs. Meh, it pays the bills and beats working for AmEx. Oh, and I'm an Orioles fan -- so yeah, I guess I must be mentally ill come to think of it. P.S. If you haven't already, read Atlas Shrugged. You'll thank me.
You're the second person to suggest that book to me. The first time was in 1989. Weirdly, that person was also a 22-year-old aspiring scriptwriter. He sells houses now. Makes more money than you and me combined.
From: Jonathan
You said last week in Hate Mail that you don't keep tabs with this or that "Jonathan," but I don't believe you. You care about each of us readers as individuals; hence all the constructive criticism. You simply wrap your empathy in your harsh exterior in your attempt to succeed in the male-dominated atmosphere in which you are stuck. We're all pulling for you.
It's true. I love my readers enough to spank them. But you, Jonathan, I would spank just for the hell of it.
From: Tom D.
You, sir, are a blathering idiot. You attack a form of entertainment -- LEGAL gambling -- that has its share of miscreants. Why aren't you riding your white jackass to crusade against bars and liquor stores? They supply alcoholics their drinks! Maybe I should write a column against Dell since they supply dumbasses like you computers.
Gambling is fine for those who can do it in moderation. For everyone else -– and everyone else is a large, large number –- it's poisonous. Just like drinking. One of these days ESPN will televise a beer-chugging contest, because ESPN is soulless like that. And as for me, I'm writing on a Toshiba.
From: Matthew Taylor
Thank you for writing the column about the World Series of Poker. I have a friend who has been fighting a gambling addiction. He qualified for the WSOP through an online casino and managed to convince himself that it was skill rather than luck, that he was an expert player. He said and did horrible things to his wife to support his addiction. You can imagine how things turned out.
Scores of readers write with similar stories. Printing all of them would be maudlin and depressing, but to ignore them all would be to whitewash this ugly story. And ESPN owns all the cans of whitewash.
From: Jon
Gambling is not evil and ruinous to everyone in its path like a tornado. It's one vice that society as a whole generally accepts because the vast majority of people can enjoy it responsibly. It's those select few who lose control that gives blowhards like you fodder for pointing out all that is wrong with society. Deal me in.
Fine, you're dealt, but here are my ground rules: If and when you lose your house, don't knock on my door. If and when you lose your job, don't apply to CBS SportsLine. And if and when you lose your wife and your kids, stay single and alone so you don't ruin anyone else's life.
From: Thomas Burns
I don't play poker, but I would like to sit next to Shannon Elizabeth and try to look down her shirt. I'm a degenerate, just not a gambling degenerate.
More important, Tom Burns, you're MY degenerate.
From: Jim S.
I worked at an Indian Casino approximately eight years ago for the gaming commission. I was the gaming trainer for all the gaming inspectors and taught all the rules and percentage holds for the house. It is mathematically impossible to beat the house over the LONG RUN in any of these games if you are not cheating. Take for instance, American Roulette, which if I recall off the top of my head, had a 5.26 hold -- making it one of the worst bets in the house for players. This means theoretically that you will lose $5.26 for every $100 that you wager. In the short run anyone can come in and win, but as they continue to play, the math kicks in. I found it a very depressing environment to work in, and the horror stories are unbelievable. Numerous people committing suicide -- one individual had twin daughters and lost his money, then took his life. There would be people begging to be "eighty-sixed," which was the term for voluntarily requesting not to be admitted back into the casino. One time there was a young individual in the lobby totally depressed because he had cashed his tuition check that his parents had given him for his fall semester at Syracuse. I had no desire to continue working in that environment.
I hate to end on such a downer, but ... wow.
