When Brian Cashman, wearing his best sad basset-hound face, said the other day that the decision on Joe Torre's fate would "take some time," only one thought ran through the heads of right-thinking people everywhere.
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| Tony La Russa's situation is interesting because he actually has a say in his future. (Getty Images) |
This tawdry little puppet show -- Can Joe Be Saved, Part VII -- was already in full tedious when George Steinbrenner popped out of his hole and predicted six more weeks of tabloid drool by saying Torre's job was "on the line" if the Yankees didn't beat Cleveland.
Whatever "on the line" means.
But we have a solution for what is going to be Torre DefCon 5. The Tony Watch.
As you know, this was a perfectly dreadful year for another managerial lifer, Anthony La Russa Jr. Josh Hancock. A bad start and bad finish. Bad local media relations. The All-Star Game lineup debacle. Watching his general manager, Walt Jocketty, get fired in a front office dispute. Under normal circumstances, on a normal team without a World Series trophy in the window of the gift shop, he'd have probably been smoked by now.
But no, in this case, La Russa has the whip hand and said he would decide whether he wanted to come back for 2008 after the Cardinals decided what they intended to do about their general manager vacancy. The Cardinals in turn decided that La Russa needs to make up his mind soon, which of course chafed the manager a bit.
And in the background, the New York papers are throwing La Russa's name out as the logical inheritor of Torre's office, a notion so hilarious that it should happen only to see how quickly La Russa tires of (a) George, (b) typical Yankee drama, and (c) a media corps so much further down the insane scale than St. Louis that La Russa could be persuaded to pull off his own head on Opening Day.
The interesting thing about the La Russa story, though, is that he has options, as in he could go back to a city he seems to no longer enjoy, and one that has always seemed to love him only with some grudging. It may only be St. Louis drama, true, but it's drama nonetheless, and if you don't mind seeking your entertainment, it works just fine.
New York, though, throws its drama at you whether you want it or not, and demands that you be interested far beyond your capabilities, which is why the Torre story has so run its natural course. Indeed, the course it's running is the same old eroded path -- Will He Be Canned? -- that it always has, and Torre's sole option seems to be to become a talking head to go along with the army of other talking heads whose principal skill seems to be saying remarkably little in the longest amount of time possible.
Objectively speaking, now where's the fun in that? La Russa's deal is way more interesting, and fraught with so much more weird drama. And while we're at it, what about Charlie Manuel, voted Most Likely To Be Set On Fire by Philadelphia Magazine in August, only to get a new two-year deal Tuesday? What, you can't see the humor in that?
No, we get Torre and Steinbrenner: The Tape Loop From Hell. Again. While the obvious choice is for Torre to leave when he wants to with a carpet of love from New York, we will get this overblown sturm und drang again, and it will presented as new and even more worrisome and even horrific than ever.
Please.
No, seriously. Stop. This is the parish fun fair, with the same booths and the same prizes, over and over and over again. Unless we can get the Yankees to offer Torre an extension and Torre to tell them to go hang themselves, this is the same old thing, played the same old way.
So here, in this squalid little corner of the Internets, we're watching La Russa and St. Louis instead, where the divergent interests of employee and employer play against a backdrop of fan unrest and a hideous season. No heroes, no villains, plus heroes and villains, and lots more to argue about than bland terms like good and evil.
In short, the La Russa story is chess. The Torre story is a one-syllable spelling bee. Any sensible viewer knows where to go.
Ray Ratto is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle.
