It's Thanksgiving week, so Mike's Malicious Mail is going to be nice. No mention of the usual wordplay such as douche bag, idiot, brainless, turd or fart face.
This week we are going to be nice and gentle and kind. Even to Doyel. Well, no. Not to Doyel. MMM can only go so far.
"Mike, I enjoy your columns... Well, most of them," writes a fan. "Just keep doing what you do. Your skills as a writer has people writing and talking even when they don't want to. A lot of people hate you but even they can't deny that one way or another, eyes are being opened. It's not black or white; it's about this nation of ours. This melting pot called America...On a black stove. Keep serving them up piping hot."
O beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of maaiillllll.
"Mike, all sports have become very competitive for the all mighty buck and it wouldn't surprise me at all if some type of spying went on during the Shula days. The New England Patriots are playing very competitive ball and should be commended. The whole team shouldn't be chastised for others mistakes. Thanks for your time."
No, Doug, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving, dude. And your e-mail was idiotic. I find it hard to believe that Don Shula was setting up video surveillance using technology that would make George Lucas jealous the way Bill Belichick was. Just sayin'.
This piece of mail about my infamous and brilliant 50 Biggest Jerks in Sports list.
"There are so many jerks in sports...that it's hard to make a legitimate list. I can't quibble with yours, except for one notable omission. Next year please include Daniel Snyder. He of the small physical stature, large greed, and tyrannical reign."
Consider it done.
This about my column regarding the gargantuan double standard involving Andy Reid and his thug kids.
"Double standard?It goes both ways example,Imagine if someone hung a noose around a statue of 2pacs neck," writes a spell-challenged John, "immediately it was labeled a hate crime but once it was discovered an Africcan American done it it was just, a quote Crazy N& unquote.Look hard theres double standards everywhere,I dont condone or feel sympathy for Reid.But thats a might big wand of righteousness you seem to be waving around."
And those are some mighty big misspellings you're tossing around, redneck, but it's Thanksgiving, so I'm calling you Mr. Redneck.
"I'm still surprised that NO ONE has seriously considered Chris Leak as an NFL QB," writes Reg. "Why can't this professional not get any good work? Is the league that blind to see natural GOD given ability? Mike you have to put an article together that maybe goes The best un-drafted NFL prospects. Thanks for all you do."