Cuffs click, cell doors slam shut and Fulmer skates by

On Jan 11, 2008: Police cite freshman wide receivers Gerald Jones and Ahmad Paige for possession of marijuana following a traffic stop near campus while the two hosted a recruit from Oklahoma on his official visit, the newspaper reported. Freshman offensive lineman William Brimfield, who was with Paige and Jones at the time, was not charged by police but was disciplined by Fulmer.

On Jan. 21: Campus police arrest freshman tailback Daryl Vereen for public intoxication and underage consumption after responding to a call of a fight in progress outside an on-campus residence hall.

On Jan. 26: Police arrest All-SEC lineman Anthony Parker for disorderly conduct at an off-campus apartment complex, the paper says.

Public intoxication, drunkenness, and fights seem to be a main theme when it comes to rules breakers in the Tennessee program. If only the Volunteers had that kind of fight in them when they played Florida.

Feb. 2: A walk-on defensive back, Vince Faison, was arrested for DUI after police found Faison passed out behind the wheel of his truck in the parking lot of an on-campus fast-food restaurant with the engine running, the paper wrote, and his foot on the brake pedal with the vehicle in gear.

Well, hell, who hasn't passed out after gorging on too many burgers and fries?

So judgmental, you people.

Feb. 13: Fulmer dismisses two players, the paper reports, for an undisclosed violation of team rules. Both players were arrested within the past 18 months.

I can't imagine what it takes for Fulmer to toss someone off the team. A meeting with the Taliban? Eating someone's liver with fava beans?

Feb. 17: Police arrest the Vols' punter for DUI and leaving the scene of an accident after he allegedly struck a parked car causing more than $400 in damage.

The punter allegedly bolted from the accident. Who says punters aren't real athletes?

Probably ran so fast the police put out an APB for Deion Sanders.

The punter's case is an interesting one. It wasn't the first time he found himself in trouble, or even the second. Or the third. This could be his fifth alcohol-related offense, according to the Knoxville paper. That's where you just wonder what the hell Fulmer is thinking.

The motto of the Tennessee football program: If the players commit, Fulmer will acquit.

Again, the transgressions listed are all solely from this year. Fulmer's track record in this area is extensive. He leaves a trail of player arrests, DUIs and serious crimes in his ample wake yet suffers no significant penalty for running the 21st-century version of The Mean Machine.

And the NCAA sits on its hands and monitors telephone calls.

It's ironic that Fulmer would be in greater trouble with the NCAA if he made illegal contact with a recruit than when one of his players allegedly hits a car and runs from the crime like a gutless turd.

Many SEC schools -- no, check that, all of them -- have players who get in serious trouble with the law. It's tradition in that neck of the woods, like voter fraud.

One of the team captains for the Alabama football team, Rashad Johnson, was arrested Saturday for disorderly conduct. Johnson is the second Alabama player arrested in a week and the eighth to be charged since last summer.

Those are not the kind of statistics a team likes to keep, yet what Fulmer is doing takes crime and lack of punishment to a whole new level. Tennessee is the Microsoft of runaway programs.

Where are the Tennessee professors and administrators? Why aren't they raising bloody hell over what's happening at their school?

Most of all, where is the NCAA?