By the time you read this, the U.S. Open may well be over. Not all of us have the time and wherewithal to test-pilot for Barcalounger. Some of us live in Cubicle World, or Company Car World, or Factory World, or Storefront World, and can't just put our feet up when we damned well feel like it.
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| After Tiger's show this week, people will want to see even more in the future. (Getty Images) |
(We will now stop a moment while we make it clear to you that we don't distrust his injury status at all. We do believe his knee is barking at him, maybe even enough to jeopardize the British Open. And we believe it even though the TV jockeys refer to the injury more often than contemporary urban pop singers use the word "shawty".)
While it might be charming to pin this on the mega-lovable next-door neighbor Rocco Mediate, who could turn Mary Tyler Moore's world on with his smile, it would be wrong. Mediate is just part of the fun that came with Woods as Determined Yet Happy Uniped.
Too many times, Woods' excellence almost cast him as the remorseless killer, sort of golf's version of Omar Little causing the neighborhood to scatter at the mere mention of his name. He was a planet-eater with a growing appetite, and no number of Nike or Buick commercials was going to change that.
But this past weekend, we saw Woods in full grimace, and in bewildered laughter, cheery, avuncular and downright surprised. Oh, he still played better golf than anyone, but it was a more deliciously erratic car-in-full-spin kind of excellence. It was kind of a weird, unintentional spoof -- Tiger Does Rocco.
And of course, Rocco did Tiger just as well, which is why they're playing Monday.
It is in many ways the perfect pairing, with all due respect to Lee Westwood. Woods, gimping about between 345-yard drives, trying to keep his edge while happily recognizing that he is trying to beat the casino here, and Mediate, who plays each round hip-deep in happy perspective -- part of the army of good but not great golfers who are spending a bit more time studying that Seniors Tour application while still competing well enough to savor life at the adult table.
But Mediate has always been such, while Woods hasn't been this giggly in the past. Just as he has nailed the art of superb golf, he has nailed down diffidence, an Olympian distance that can be slightly off-putting in the wrong setting. He can throw a club with the best of them, and his double-hurl on 18 Sunday was particularly inspirational. He doesn't usually hate the same club twice in such a brief span.
But somehow pain is bringing out something new in Woods, and is more appealing to the average viewer than mere hunger. Now we wish him no ill here, or that he should do this more often for our amusement, but he has been more fun to watch this weekend than any of the times he crushed the field.
And if he does end up becoming the first golfer ever to hop his way to victory in a major championship, touring the entire course along the way from snack shack to porta-loos to bunkers to six-feet from the cup, all on 13, well, who wouldn't think that's a new twist on the old story? Who wouldn't enjoy that?
Then again, if Mediate wins, who wouldn't come away from it being happy for the winner while admiring Woods all the more in defeat? None of that silly "couldn't hold a lead after 54 holes" idiot storyline nonsense here. It's the perfect happy ending either way.
Except for one thing. If Woods wins on one leg, someone is going to want him to re-prove his greatness under other more difficult circumstances. Like winning while being attacked by bees. Or chased by a process server for the deranged prisoner who sues everyone. Or during a mortar attack. Some folks are never satisfied.
Like the folks who still want to know when he's going to beat Phil Mickelson head-to-head again.
Ray Ratto is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle.
