Mike's Malicious Mail: Red, white and blue language

Updated July 4

Happy Independence Day from Malicious Delicious.

"You can go f--- yourself Mike Freeman," writes Nick.

Ah, maybe you didn't hear me correctly, I said Happy Fourth.

"You are a terrible journalist," writes Doppelganger. "Not only do you let yor emotions get in the way of any sort of journalistic integrity, but your writing just plain stinks."

There must be some sort of miscommunication. Happy Fourth? Fireworks? 'Dogs, burgers? Twilight Zone and Star Trek marathons? Read up about John Adams instead of Adam Jones? Why are you so angry on the celebration of the birthday of our great country? Malicious is so charitable we're even going to ignore how you destroyed my writing but spelled "your" incorrectly.

"Mike, you are clearly jealous that you are just Mike Freeman, not Manny Ramirez," writes Gary. "Your article screams this, but don't worry there is nothing wrong with being a crappy columnist for a crappy site. Just Mike being Mike."

Hey, now wait a minute.

July 4 or not, you pick on the best sports site in the world, that's like picking on my momma.

Mess with Doyel or Prisco all you want.

But not the site. Happy time is over. Screw the Fourth. Malicious is pissed.

Let's go to the mail before Ben Franklin shows up and busts a cap in somebody. You'll notice the mail this week has a Manny Ramirez bent in response to the brilliant column penned by Malicious torching Ramirez for acting like a petulant child and shoving a 60-something-year-old traveling secretary to the ground over a ticket dispute. Bad Manny the Fanny! Bad!

"Hey Mike, Thank You!" writes Kevin. "You just put into words what many of us have thought for a long time about this Manny being Manny crap. Well done!"

Thank you sir and remember the eternal words of Mike Tyson to Razor Ruddock: "You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend." That quote is not relevant to anything, it just makes Malicious laugh hysterically.

"You sir are a f----- idiot," writes American. "you articles are so niggerish its bad."

Not sure how the rednecks can type and keep those pointy white hoods on at the same time.

And why do so many insults begin with "you sir?"

"You are just a prejudice," writes Franklyn, calling me a racist for criticizing Ramirez, "why don't you talk about your ego-centric black Athletes that are doing much worse stuff, such as killing, DUI, alleged rapist, Injecting Steroids, none of which Manny has done in the past. Is hard to imagine that such a small country has produced so many great baseball. talent. For all I do remember the guy is a hitting machine, and the biggest clutch player in the last 20 years. How many rings did Mr Steroids Barry Bonds himself ended up with? If you look at his impressive awards it will tel you all. The fact that you have something personal against him, should not affect the way you write, since you are a supposed to be a Columnist, and take it from a neutral perspective I am a newspaper editor myself.

A. No way you're a newspaper editor. Editing your wife's cookbook doesn't make you an editor, Mr. Happy.

B. A Malicious first. Usually whites call us a racist for having strong opinions even when the opinions have nothing to do with race. Now, the Latinos are doing it. Oi vay.

C. You must have missed the column where I called Shaquille O'Neal an Uncle Tom for using the N-word publicly. Does that satisfy your bloodlust, Franklyn?

Next!

"We really shouldn't be surprised at such behavior from a guy who uses that stupid green wall as his own personal urinal," writes Jane.

Definitely a Yankee fan who wrote that one.

"Your article on Manny Ramirez was awesome!" writes Jack. "I wish more sportswriters had your guts to call some of these athletes out like this. These star-struck fans who defend these idiots make me want to puke. If I did something like what Manny did at my work it would be handled internally, I would be internally fired and I don't make a disgusting amount of money either. Thanks for a great article."

I shoved Doyel once, and he just cried.

"I am a die hard Sox fan and have been for years yes well before 2004 and I have to agree with you on the Manny thing," writes Diron. "There is a double standard, but I don't recall you calling out A-Rod for being a womanizing pr--- or calling for all of the steroid jerks to be suspended. My opinion is simple ... you break the rules regardless of who you are or how many ticket sales will go down, you get punished."

Your recall must stink because I've been taking on punk athletes to task for 20 years.

"Jerkface? Who says jerkface?" writes Mr. Walkoff. "Ghetto pass revoked! Hater, you should be ashamed to be the king of the hateration nation. Let me guess? raised by wolves? or worse Buppies."

Raised by a momma who taught me to punctuate.

Buppy? I haven't heard that one since the 1980s. Update your stereotypes, dude.

"You are an idiot beyond idiots Freeman!" writes Hutch. "You have no idea what went on behind the doors. Either do I, but at least I don't judge a man before knowing what actually happened. I am not sure who is a bigger horses ASS! You or the ASS itself!"

That's a tough choice but I'll put my money on The Ass.

"Liked the column," writes Ben. "Humorous, insightful, and absolutely true."

You will be the only one who gets a Happy Fourth wish.