Updated Aug. 7
This week Hate Mail is breaking new ground, and possibly even breaking news. As you read on, you will learn how Reds outfielder Adam Dunn once dropped a baseball into a sock, slammed the makeshift weapon against his locker, and told me, "That's what I'd like to do to you."
Oh. Guess I just ruined that story.
Do me a favor. When you get to it in a few seconds, act surprised.
From: Johanna
You probably don't hear this very often, but thank you.
You're welcome -- for whatever it was that I did. I'm sure it was heroic.
From: Ron Allen
As a Duke fan, I've never understood the negative comments in the media about Duke. You're the first journalist I've read to put your money where your mouth is with this Coach K column. I had to read the column twice because I was still in shock. Finally -- truth, objectivity, etc. This is what we need in your profession. From this point forward, I'm a huge, huge supporter.
I'll be damned. I really am heroic.
From: Clayton
I think you should make a post filled with all of your fan mail, just to irritate everyone who hates you. It would be the ultimate sign of vanity, and an absolutely hilarious thing to do.
"All" my fan mail? Good idea. I'll do it today ... um, please make sure you re-read the previous note from Ron Allen. That was "all" of my fan mail this week.
From: David McCann
How old are you? Did you do your due diligence and interview Griffey and Dunn before you trashed them? Frankly you seem like a coward.
I'm not a coward. I'm heroic. And yes I've interviewed Griffey and Dunn. Griffey threw a water bottle at me, and Dunn dropped a baseball into a sock and threatened to hit me with it. All because I told him, "Watching you in left field is like watching my dog chase a Frisbee into a lake." Dunn didn't like that. I'm not very nice, David. But I'm damn sure not a coward.
From: Burton DeWitt
It's Sunday night and I still haven't e-mailed you since last week. No wonder my week has been dragging. I'm going to the Cayman Islands tomorrow morning. If I have Internet, I'll make sure to send you an e-mail.
The Caymans? Give my regards to Mitch McDeere's brother, Ray.
From: Burton DeWitt
Hi from the Caymans.
And say hello to Holly Hunter, too.
From: Kenny
I wanna be in Hate Mail, but I agree with most of the stuff you say. So, um, nice call on Manny staying in Boston?
Hahahaha. I didn't just swing and miss on that one. On my backswing, I hit myself in the head and knocked myself out.
From: Chris H.
Is this China article your way of deflecting people's hatred of you? It sounds like you're saying, "You think I'm bad? Check out these guys."
Kindly leave the italics to me. And I didn't even mention that they eat dog over there. I'd die of hunger before I ate a dog. Well, I'd die of hunger before I ate my dog. OK, OK. I'd die of hunger before I ate my favorite dog.
From: Anthony Wong
You are an ignorant racist. You -- the media -- are a large part of the reason why the rest of the world hates America. Spreading hate about China to create hits on this site is absolutely disgusting.
I'm a racist? No I'm not. The Chinese government sucks. Not you in particular. Not Chinese people in general. The Chinese government. (Well ... you sort of suck, too.)
From: Fred
You're right in predicting that some of our athletes will get seriously hosed, but it will be through European and Russian judges who hate us and want to ingratiate themselves with the Chinese.
That's an interesting thought. And even darker than my column. I hate it when someone's brain is darker than mine.
From: R. Gates
After what seems like the 43rd day in a row of hearing about Brett Favre, I've come up with a solution. CBSSports.com needs to add a new tab to its website for stories that are beaten to death and appeal only to the brain dead: the Favre fiasco, Michelle Wie, Freeman articles, the Manny-L.A. lovefest ... plenty of stuff to toss in there.
Hahahaha. Poor Freeman.
From: Rocco
Holy hell ... You wrote about baseball! Finally getting past the MMA lovefest that goes on here. Maybe you can write another column that doesn't deal with grown men humping. Maybe you can write another honest-to-goodness baseball column. You are in need of redemption, Doyel. Don't wait too long, because CT Hoosier is going to skin you at some point.
If he does eat me, he better eat me with a nice Chianti.
From: Ivan
It all makes sense now. I always wondered -- and wrote to you -- "Why so much hatred for Coach K"? Now I see. You're angry because Coach K prevented you from making money off of him. Hey, Doyel, I'm writing a book on how stupid sports writers are. Would you mind if I interview you? I think you would be great for that book. If you refuse, don't worry. I wont be mad at you for taking the food out of my kids' mouth.
No worries, comrade. I can talk about my favorite topic all day long.
From: Jacob Swiger
It's nice to see somebody in the mainstream media criticize Coach K for his, um, character flaws. You mentioned he contacted your employers at the Charlotte Observer while you were looking to interview him for your book. I'm actually a journalism student at UNC looking to go into sports writing. I enjoy your "I'm an idiot, hate me" routine.
Thank you, and I'll be happy to give you any advice I can. First of all you need ... wait a minute. My "I'm an idiot, hate me" routine? Going forward, your e-mails are spam to me.
From: Glenn
I know that you're always looking out for your readers, so you MUST link the comments from Amazon.com regarding your bestseller, oops, I mean bust-seller on Coach K. I feel sorry for the 15 folks that gave it a single star -- they actually read the book!
Ask, and ye shall receive. Told you the book sucked.
From: Linda
I'm a huge Duke fan who did not like you when you were at the Charlotte Observer, but about your book ... I absolutely loved it and bought three copies.
You bought three copies? I bought three myself. If I can track down the other two books, that'll be all eight.
From: R. Gates
Two things I wanted to offer after reading last week's hate mail. Your remark -- "people like you let dictatorships happen" -- would have been a perfect spot for a line from a Suicidal Tendencies CD (Lights, Camera, Revolution): The greatest weapon of a fascist is the tolerance of a pacifist. And if you like bitter clowns, I highly suggest Bobcat Goldthwait's movie "Shakes the Clown." A--hole personified. He's great in the role.
I'll check out that movie. That song? Not so much. But I have awful taste in music. That's what happens when you grow up in Oxford, Miss., spending your Friday nights at the skating rink. You develop an affinity for REO Speedwagon.
From: Matthew K.
Why don't you write about positive things? I constantly read articles where you're putting down athletes. In my eyes you're nothing but a clown who feels best when belittling others.
Aww, you "constantly read" me. Bless your little disgruntled heart. But even when I do write something nice, I get ripped. Read on.
From: Brian
You can't be serious. Dwyane Wade might not be the fourth or fifth best player in the world? Have you been watching these games? He looks like he did in 2006, when he played the best basketball since Jordan and had the best NBA Finals ever. I want to know what else you want to see from the guy.
I said Dwyane Wade might be the No. 4 player in the world, and is definitely in the top 10 ... and you think I disrespected him? You, sir, are an idiot. (I just disrespected you.)
From: James
I missed your Caleb Campbell article, but just read it following the link in last week's Hate Mail. Great article. I feel dirty not attaching my last name to this e-mail, but in light of recent revelations about the Justice Department's hiring practice for career attorneys under Monica Goodling, I don't feel comfortable coming up under any Google searches with anything that could be construed as even a little bit political. A lot of the reader comments the Caleb article drew are alarming. The aggregate of years of neglect to the public school systems has really come back to bite this country in the ass.
Honestly, the problems with public schools are overrated. I'm a product of the public school system in Mississippi, and look how I turned out.
From: Amol Kapur
Interesting article on Team USA and Coach K. I must admit I am a huge Dukie and love all that is Duke, but I'm not oblivious to the wackiness that sometimes goes on in Coach K's world. I think I am going to buy your book. Curious to read it and see how "bad" it really is.
How bad? Really bad. Good luck finding it -- only two copies remain unaccounted for.
