Apology ain't no thing if the register don't ring
The Cincinnati Red Stockings did an odd thing Tuesday ... I mean, beyond getting shut out by the Cubs, which actually wasn't that odd at all.
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| Want to do something nice for your fans, Bob? Don't talk -- reach into your pocket. (AP) |
Owner Bob Castellini and new general manager Walt Jocketty did, however, stop short of the one thing that would make an apology seem more heartfelt and sincere. You know, a refund.
The letter pointed to bad weather and injuries, which of course couldn't be anyone's fault. It congratulated Castellini and Jocketty for having the basic human kindness required to trade Ken Griffey and Adam Dunn to contending teams -- the White Sox for Griffey, the Diamondbacks for Dunn. It also congratulated the fellas for signing most of their draft picks, which suggests they actually forgave themselves before apologizing, which is pretty convenient when you think about it.
But while the gesture is appreciated in a climate in which most teams devote their energy to telling people how swell they are, how the increase in ticket prices is good for the fan and how the new $85 hoodies are now on sale -- in other words, to screw off and keep buying things, damn it -- it still lacks the sincerity that only returning money can really generate.
We all recognize the Reds are bad; they've been relatively bad for years now, but this is worse than even they thought. They've entered that weird Pirates-Nationals-Giants vortex in which bad ball just compounds and regenerates itself, and the fan base is clearly thinking that this isn't going to get better anytime soon. Otherwise, there would never have been the letter in the first place.
But sorries are cheap; if Castellini wants to show contrition, he lowers ticket prices next year ... or he sends a rebate to season-ticket holders ... or he offers free game-day parking. Something to say, "This is not your fault. We screwed up, and we're going to pay up until we get back up."
A letter, by comparison, seems cheap and grandstandish -- sort of, "Look at us tell you how we feel about ourselves, which is actually pretty damned good considering how bad we've played."
In fact, if you have to write to the customers, the letter should have been a bit less formal and bit more beneficent, like this.
Dear Fans:
Bob and Walt here. It's Aug. 19, we're in last, we've traded our two most famous players, and you're pretty down on us right now. Well, you should be. We haven't been here that long, but we've been here long enough to know this stinks on ice. And because we're in charge, it's our fault. Period.
I mean, who can watch this day after day and not feel a bit taken? We're doing things on our end to fix it, but this isn't about us. We're supposed to fix it. That's our job, for God's sake, and we shouldn't be taking credit for it before we've actually done it.
What we should be doing is this: If you're a season-ticket holder and you want to renew for 2009, know that we'll take 10 percent off the top right now for any package you want to buy. If you're not a season-ticket holder and only get to the park once or twice a year, send us a note and we'll send you a parking voucher, and maybe a hat or some piece of bric a brac from our overstuffed warehouse.
