Hate Mail: Florida graduate = fan = not automatic
Updated Sept. 18
My motives are being questioned, and I understand. It is a point of fact that I graduated from the University of Florida. And it is a point of fact that in the last week I have written unkind things about two of Florida's rivals -- Miami and Georgia.
Readers are convinced those first two facts are related.
Shocking.
It's also a fact that I have some of the most intellectually lazy readers in the universe. Not including you, of course. You're brilliant. Your name is probably Pete P.
From: Pete P.
Great article about Spurrier and Smelley. You hit that nail squarely on the head. Amazing insight you have, let's see more.
OK, here's another insight: You're clearly a genius.
From: Baker
The Georgia article is the worst sports article I've ever read. I bet you were picked on as a child and probably still are to some extent. I bet you are short, aren't you? You are a joke and your writing is terrible.
You're lucky I'm not allowed to put up a link to your face, Baker. Yeah, I found you. You're bald, you're ugly, and you're apparently the worst competitive bicyclist in Savannah. You're living in a glass house, is what I'm saying, Baker. Best not to throw stones.
From: John Williamson
It makes me sick knowing the fact that you get paid to write crap like this. Tell your boss he also is an idiot -- for hiring you.
Oh, I told my boss that and more. I've been waiting to lay into him for weeks now. Not letting me produce the link to Baker's bald head was the last straw ...
From: Greg S.
Write about something that people care about. Georgia is overrated? I feel bad for your editor.
You'd feel even worse for him if you'd heard the tongue-lashing I just administered.
From: Mike
I don't see how you ever got a job writing.
Tongue-lashed my way to the top.
From: Greg
I am a 'Cane fan and I agree that Randy Shannon should let that late FG go, but don't YOU owe it to your readers to let them know that you went to UF and wrote for the Alligator? What happened to disclosure and impartiality? You're disguising the fact that you are a typical Gator fan.
I'm the least typical Florida graduate -- I won't give you Florida "fan" -- in the world. You know how I rip on things today? I ripped on Emmitt Smith and Steve Spurrier and Livingston Chatman back then. And since then I've blown up Billy Donovan -- twice -- and maybe even three times. Nothing changes with me. I root for nobody.
From: Daniel
This piece on Georgia was rather shabby. Let me guess? You probably grew up in the Midwest.
Well, no, actually, I ...
From: Daniel, again
I just found out that you apparently lived in Georgia at some point, so that makes your commentary even more ridiculous and unbelievable.
... went to high school in Macon.
From: Peter
Dude, you're the man. Your Vince Young article was on point with an issue growing more and more relevant. The socioeconomic class segregation in this country is getting worse. This has happened many times in history, and each time a revolution of some sort would follow. I am not saying Vince or T.O. or Britney Spears needs to be beheaded, but like you said, get over yourself and shut the (heck) up. Your articles are the best, even if you are wrong most of the time.
I was loving your e-mail, loving it, loving it, splat.
From: Heath F.
You should be fired on the spot. You're heartless and have no moral compass. Vince Young is a human being. Forgive him for not living for money. Money is a piece of paper that pays for material items. We will not take these items when we pass.
Put your money where your bleeding heart is, Heath. Send me a check for everything you're worth, and then let's compare notes in two weeks to see who's happier. Just so you know, I plan to use your life's savings to buy a McGriddle -- with cheese.
From: Anon
Please explain to me how you can judge Vince Young without knowing the guy? He's a role model for kids, and a good guy to represent the Tennessee community.
Except for that "possibly suicidal" thing that had the SWAT team looking for him. He's a role model except for that.
From: Charlie
You understand nothing about sportsmanship, probably because the closest you came to the field or court was at a chess competition held in a gym!
I was the Oxford (Miss.) Elementary School chess champion, grades 1-3, in the second grade. I kid you not. Oh ... and I was all-state in high school in two sports, which is exactly two sports more than you.
From: Matt
You're losing your touch. After your article on Shannon and Sapp, people were calling you Dodd.
You sure they weren't saying "dead"? This next guy is.
From: Andrew
You look like a hairdresser and know nothing about college football. Do us all a favor and get AIDS. Go Dawgs!
I'm going to do Georgia fans the courtesy of assuming you are an aberration.
From: Will
Georgia is clearly deserving of its ranking. Die f---ot.
OK, you're also the aberration.
From: Dawg Dude 91
You and your g-- lover are qu---s.
How many aberrations are there?
From: Del
You probably still think Ohio State should be in top five.
Ohio State in the top five? In that story I mentioned six schools that might need to be ranked ahead of Georgia -- none of them Ohio State. Had you deduced a damn thing, you would have deduced therefore that Ohio State wouldn't be in my top seven. So you're an idiot. Is your idiocy typical of Georgia fans, or are you yet another aberration?
From: John
Fantastic article about Randy Shannon. This article should be required reading for all columnists. This is how you present relevant facts that illustrate informed opinions. Great work.
I really should write a book.
From: Quintana
Your book on Duke was a complete joke. Have you seen the reviews at the bottom of the Amazon.com page? They're killing you, dude!
Oh, right. I did write a book. And it sucked.
From: E Brown
Best. Article. Ever.
I wrote that Miami article in 24 minutes, too. When I'm good, I'm fast. When I'm bad, I'm ... fast. I'm just fast. At writing, people -- at writing.
From: Dennis, Go Canes in NY
I do my best to not read your articles, but it's kind of like smoking crack -- you know its not healthy, but you just can't help it.
I prefer to think of my columns as dark chocolate -- addictive, possibly bad for you, yet with just enough fiber to make it worth your while.
From: Thomas Burns
I contrast Randy Shannon's hissy fit with Kentucky's Bill Curry after a 70-7 drubbing by Spurrier's Gators. Said Curry: "It's their job to try to score, and our job to stop them." No crying about running up the score. No whimpering. Of course as a UK fan I would love for the 'Cats to finally drub Spurrier by an embarrassing margin. Or just beat Florida, period. But life is good regardless. Did I mention the front of my house is torn off? Oh well.
Hurricane Ike kicked my butt, too, TB. Ripped my basketball goal in half. Took down trees. Blew my kids' trampoline through the backyard. Crazy stuff. I can only imagine what they're going through in Texas.
From: Dr. Don C. Donelson, University of Miami
You should be ashamed of yourself as well as embarrassed at the article you wrote about Randy Shannon. I won't even get into why you should be embarrassed, because it is self-evident. Every person at all affiliated with football knows that you either take a knee on fourth down in that situation or go for it and give the other team a legit opportunity to keep the points off the board. Taking the chip shot FG that has an incredibly high chance of success is the cowardly, unethical thing to do. Anyone who disagrees with that has no business writing about football. It is axiomatic.
Look everyone, Don's a doctor! Nice middle initial, too. You probably have no idea that most of your acquaintances laugh about your pomposity.
From: David
I can't wait until the best team in the country, either Georgia or Florida, beats the crap out of your beloved Trojans.
My beloved Trojans. Hahaha ... oh, you're serious. That's even better! Hahahahahaha.
From: Todd
Regarding your Georgia article: It's official ... a new catchphrase is born! Henceforth, when someone spouts off asinine opinions based on knee-jerk reactions to circumstances that they have no true understanding of, we shall shake our heads in pity and simply respond: "What a Doyel."
I'm now a catchphrase! It beats the hell out of Boo-yah. Plus I have my own Wikipedia entry.
From: Brett D.
The fact that someone actually pays you to write articles is absolutely hilarious. How about you come on down to Athens and take in a game. Oh, and be sure to wear a name tag.
Like you could read it.
From: Dawg Felix
Your article on the Dogs being overrated is an embarrassment to CBS. And your article on Sarah Palin is equally embarrassing. Perhaps you could challenge her to a sports debate and see who wins?
Forget sports. I'll take her on any number of topics -- as long as she comes without her speech writer.
From: Joey
Who are you, anyways? Thank God you're not voting in the polls. Real voters know you don't drop unless you lose.
Don't look now, Joey, but Georgia has won three games this season ... and dropped after two of them. The voters are onto your fraudulent team.
From: USAFdawg757
How much do you actually KNOW about sports? You obviously lied to your editor when he asked THAT question. Do Georgia fans a favor; cover someone ELSE from now on. We prefer PROFESSIONALS writing about our beloved DAWGS!
Wrong. What you prefer is to read the same old crap from the very same writers who ranked your team too high in the preseason and aren't about to admit defeat now. What I prefer is to laugh at someone who CAPITALIZES every other WORD for some sort of EFFECT.
From: Nat Watkins
You offer the typical Gator spew from puny, inferior and simpleminded pencil pusher. A writer you will never be.
Easy on the smack talk, Yoda. A great writer I am. And if you're not careful, your girlfriend I will seduce.
From: Mark W.
Did you enjoy your first college football game, Gregg? Perhaps after you watch a few more you'll understand a little bit more. Even though you already feel qualified to tell a man who's won TWO SEC titles in five years how to coach.
Personally, I'd rather just tell Mark Richt how to style his hair. Parted down the middle? Please no. Why does nobody care enough to tell the man the truth?
