Kimbo Slice is good for me. Bottom line, the popularity of Kimbo -- the existence of Kimbo -- is good for me personally. He fights for CBS. I work for CBS. What's good for that goose is good for this gander. I'm no idiot.
And yet ...
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| Kimbo could be great for MMA ... if he shows something against Ken Shamrock. (Getty Images) |
Now, that could change this weekend when Slice fights for the fourth time as a professional, not counting all those beatings-for-hire he administered in South Florida that made him an Internet superstar and put him onto the radar of EliteXC and CBS.
As far as Kimbo is concerned, my willies could go away if he shows growth in any of a number of fighting facets Saturday night on CBS when he faces Ken Shamrock, whose name has always been better than his game, but whose game is good enough to test Slice.
See, as it stands now, Kimbo Slice is good for CBS and great for EliteXC, all of which is good for me, but he's bad for the sport of mixed martial arts. And that pisses me off. Because while CBS pays my bills, MMA juices my engine. I freaking love the sport. Love boxing, too, come to think of it. About a year ago I wrote a not entirely original prediction that MMA would be the death of boxing. Maybe it will be, but I hope not. In a perfect world there's room for both, and while this world isn't perfect -- our country's next vice president will be a complete idiot, whoever it is -- boxing and MMA seem to be co-existing peacefully.
Meanwhile, Kimbo Slice and MMA are not. Co-existing peacefully, that is.
Kimbo Slice is the sport's biggest lightning rod since John McCain, who in 1995 called MMA "human cockfighting." At the time McCain had a point, considering the UFC marketed itself as having "no rules" and the sport was ruled by fat-bellied brawlers like Tank Abbott and one-dimensional arm-breakers like Royce Gracie. At the first major UFC event, one fighter fought in a robed gi, another was a sumo wrestler weighing 440 pounds, and another guy fought with one boxing glove. One.
This sport wasn't a sport. It was a circus. But it's come a long way since then, turning into a mainstream fad that is so close -- but not quite there -- to becoming a mainstream sporting staple. Fighters have evolved into pure mixed martial artists, with Georges St. Pierre and Anderson Silva and Fedor Emelianenko and B.J. Penn and lots of others winning fights with their feet or their fists or their submission grappling. It's not human cockfighting, and anyone who continues to say otherwise is an idiot.
But amid all this forward movement, we get backyard brawler Kimbo Slice. And he threatens to move the sport backward. In some ways, lots of ways really, that's a compliment to Slice. If he didn't matter, he would have no impact on MMA. As far as impact goes, he'd be impotent. And a limp noodle is no lightning rod.
But Slice is the most potent fighter, charismatic in the most raw way possible, on the MMA landscape. If Kimbo Slice were the headline attraction of a UFC pay-per-view event, the numbers would be monstrous. The MMA record for PPV buys is believed to be in the 1.1 million range, but a Slice/UFC marriage would double it. He's that big. He's so big that CBS, after ignoring MMA for more than a decade, is putting his sport, and more specifically him, into prime time for the second time in four months.
Like I said, Kimbo Slice is good for CBS. Which means he's good for me. Trickle-down economics and all of that.
But he's not good for the sport ... unless. And that's the key word here: unless.
Kimbo Slice is not good for MMA ... unless he has improved as a fighter. That doesn't mean making his punches more powerful, because he already has enough power to fell an elephant. Slice punches so hard that his first professional opponent, Bo Cantrell, took a dive after feeling the wind from a missed Slice punch. Bo Cantrell was only there for a paycheck, but I can't call him a coward. He walked into a cage with Kimbo Slice and then, when everyone else walked out, he stayed inside. He stayed upright for all of 19 seconds, and the knockout blow was a breeze, but he got in there. He did what EliteXC wanted him to do -- stand with Kimbo until he couldn't, or wouldn't, stand any more.
Kimbo's next opponent was similarly handpicked -- fat-bellied Tank Abbott, who had name recognition but nothing else. Abbott had lost seven of his previous eight fights dating to 1998. He was 42, and he was fat, and he was done. Slice knocked him akimbo in 43 seconds. The legend grew.
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Sircheeks MMA started out in the depths of obscurity. Without a face to market, the sport is exactly what it is in the eyes of the general public: human cockfighting. Without people like Slice to draw crowds, all the great technical athletes and fighters will never gain recognition, thereby killing the sport. Besides, Slice's image and reputation can even help give rise to a new star - perhaps one able to successfully push the company over the top.
There are two different ways one can see MMA: 1) Sport before theatrics. 2) Theatrics before sport. From the article I've read, it seems like you view MMA as the first. I disagree. I think it would serve MMA well to put the theatrics before the sport, as you would have a chance to appeal to a much broader audience. |
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| Gregg Doyel:You seem like a decent guy, but I strenuously object, just as Demi Moore did in A Few Good Men, to your idea about theatrics over sport. This isn't pro wrestling or the XFL. It's a legit sport with legit athletes whose abilities are worthy of marketing. MMA will take over the world as soon as the UFC gets the right TV deal. |
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Kimbo's next opponent was another tailor-made special, James Thompson, another man who would stand in front of Kimbo and throw down until it was done. Thompson has huge power but a Faberge egg for a jaw -- 420-pound Butterbean once knocked him out, for crying out loud -- and the idea was that Slice would shatter him. But the fight hit the ground, and Thompson, who has no ground game to speak of, manhandled Slice on the floor. Slice won after splatting Thompson's grotesquely cauliflowered ear, but the jig was up. This wasn't a true MMA fighter. This was another circus act.
And that's awful for the sport. Its biggest attraction is a throwback to the days of human cockfighting? Terrible. But even if he never improves, Kimbo Slice won't kill MMA. The sport has come too far for that. But he can delay its ascension, and that's unacceptable.
Now then. Maybe Slice has improved as a fighter. Maybe he has added some kicks or some takedowns, followed by some ground-and-pound, to his arsenal. It's way too much to ask that he learn enough Brazilian jiu-jitsu, which takes years to master, to start submitting good pro fighters. And certainly he won't be able to submit someone as schooled in the ground game as Ken Shamrock -- who fought at UFC 1, by the way.
But on Saturday night Slice needs to show something, anything, that suggests he has grown as a fighter. That he is more than a circus.
Kimbo Slice can draw ratings. No doubt about that. He's good for CBS, which makes him good for me. Can't say that enough. But if he stays a circus, the smell will linger long after he's gone.
And that won't be good for anyone.
