Updated Nov. 27
Apparently I'm going soft. Everyone says so. Everyone reading me, I mean. As opposed to everyone doing ... other things ... to me.
Anyway.
So I'm going soft, you say. Harumph, says me. By the time this story is finished, I will have re-established my firmness. Journalistically speaking, I mean. Hate Mail is sportswriting on Viagra.
From: Scott
Too often in recent weeks I see message board threads that begin as such: "I rarely agree with you, Doyel, but ..." Or, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think Doyel's right." Simply put, you're not living up to my expectations. People shouldn't be liking you. They should be challenging you to a fight.
Careful what you wish for. Imagine this next guy. I mean, make a real good mental picture.
From: Keith Worsham
I just read "Doyel: Anger is a Gift" on Deadspin. You're an expert columnist, but you're a poor excuse of a writer. You want to fight Conseco, and you're 4-0 as a boxer. Well, I'm 45 years old, 0-0, a fat Arkansas fan. I will fight you in an MMA match and give all the proceeds to charity. Let's make it happen.
I imagine you in jeans with all sorts of butt crack hanging out. No thanks, Keith.
From: Kenny E.
You're losing your edge. Two columns in one week that are positive and don't rip anybody. How are people supposed to insult your looks and fighting prowess if you don't piss them off?
And you didn't even know about the Stephen Curry article that came out Thursday. Jeez, maybe I am going soft. Quick, Tim Floyd, do something slimy so I can hammer you again.
From: Gary Wilson
As I was reading your article on Myron Rolle I kept waiting for a snarky remark that never came. I'm either becoming more cynical, or you're becoming less ... you. Keep up the good work.
It's a holiday week. Maybe I'm happy. Your last five words are more hurtful than you know, by the way.
From: Ann Onimous
You used to regularly look these losers up and call them out. Hate Mail has become a bit tame without the personal touch. Too many McGriddles perhaps -- seems they neuter the soul.
I won't tolerate negative words about McGriddles. Just for that ...
From: Darren
Dude, relax. You write your articles like you are mad at the world -- chill, man.
I'm not mad at the world, Darren. Just you. But then, I never did like golf pros. They're too ... chilled out. Yeah, I looked you up there in Tennessee, you smug little ...
From: Brian K.
I would recommend you take a knife, tape it to a door, and run into it.
I would recommend you lose the Bob Dylan thing you're going for (saw your Facebook page) and grow up, junior.
From: John G.
The "no sympathy for the gambler" column hits home for my family because my degenerate brother has lost over $20,000 to gambling addiction. It has cost him everything he owns. And, ESPN is not helping with its proliferation of gambling with its poker coverage and its online gambling game.
ESPN is the root of all evil. I've always said that.
From: R. Gates
The first thing that came to mind after seeing the Doyel-related video with Lauren Shehadi was the old slogan: "Improve your image, be seen with me."
Wait. Are you saying my image is better because I'm seen with Ms. Shehadi? I was thinking it's the other way around.
From: Thomas Burns
So, is it wrong for me to ask you what the over/under is on Hate Mails ripping this gambling column? The only thing I'd bet on is when my dogs are gonna soil the neighbors' lawns. And I've got inside information.
I got very few angry e-mails from gamblers, and I'll tell you why, TB: They don't have time to write me. They're too busy robbing their grandmother to pay their bookie.
From: Bob Quinn
And I hate you, you cocky little mo-fo!
So you saw last week's Hate Mail? Ignoring me would have been your best move, Bob. This just tells me -- and everyone here -- that I got to you.
From: Glenn
How is your vacation? Freeman is doing a great job with the ghost writing. He put your name on an article about the Falcons that was outstanding.
There were telltale signs in that story that should have proven the author was me, not Freeman. Like the writing flair.
From: Alexandre Taillon
Freeman rules!
Your name is an anagram for Latex Adrenal Loin.
From: Annette Giaquinto
What a great idea -- awarding the Heisman to a true scholar-athlete! But of course as Myron's middle school principal, I'm quite biased. Myron has been an amazing person since he was a pre-teen and has met and exceeded every expectation. He combines inherent talent and intelligence with hard work and good character better than any person I know.
Awww. An e-mail from Myron's middle school principal. At lunch did he go for the regular milk, or the chocolate?
From: CT Hoosier
Talk about a day late and a dollar short. You just started a Heisman campaign for Myron Rolle after the ballots have been sent. But you get an "A" for effort.
No matter. I have no influence anyway.
From: Jeff Hager
Regarding your Tubby Smith and Minnesota article -- you are way off base and clearly do not know basketball. Minnesota will continue to improve and be an Elite Eight team next year or the following. Tubby can coach his butt off and has the right assistants to help him now. Wake up.
Wake up? Me? You're the one who's been asleep for months. I wrote that thing almost two YEARS ago. You're just now finding it?
From: Mitch U.
Why don't you write a story about how Tubby Smith is doing at Minnesota? Since he can't recruit or coach and since Minnesota is doing so bad. Fool.
Oh, I see. There's a message board somewhere running amok. Got it. Carry on, you angry little fire ants.
From: Doug
I'm wondering how Tennessee people are idiots for taking advice from the Pump brothers, which led to the hiring of Bruce Pearl.
They're idiots for NEEDING the Pumps to tell them to hire Bruce Pearl. The man had just worked miracles at UW-Milwaukee. He was the hottest coach in college basketball. You or I could have told Tennessee to hire him. Well ... I could have. You're too busy swallowing the company line like it's Cialis.
