Hate Mail: The right thinks I'm right -- sort of

Updated Oct. 29

So maybe you heard about this: Rush Limbaugh wanted to buy a piece of the St. Louis Rams, and basically the media shot him down and the NFL caved in. So I did my thing, held my nose, and defended Rush Limbaugh. Sort of.

Which means Limbaugh's fans were happy with me. Sort of.

There's a lot of gray area in those two words: Sort of. There's enough gray for a healthy batch of Hate Mail, but don't worry -- I treat all readers with class and respect.

Sort of.

From: T.A. Smith

Here are your words, Gregg: "I'm not a Limbaugh guy. No need to belabor that point, but I'm not. I don't listen to his radio show, I don't agree with his political views." If you don't listen to him, how can you say you don't agree with his political views?

I don't travel to the Sahara, either, but I know it's hot and dry there. You're an idiot, T.A., you know that? Just let Limbaugh do the thinking for you. Lord knows you can't handle it.

From: Dan H.

The head of the NFL Players Association is an Obama backer. Don't tell me the NFL is above politics.

First T.A. with his brutal attempt at "gotcha" logic, and now you with your ridiculous conspiracy theory. You honestly think the President of the United States had anything to do Limbaugh's inability to buy into the Rams? You Limbaugh fans aren't very smart people.

From: CrapBirdSing

You are a coward. Limbaugh is not a race baiter; he is being skewered for things he did not say. You admit to not listening to Limbaugh. I do, and it is uncanny how he can still entertain after 20 years of 15 hours a week on the radio.

What's uncanny is that you can still stomach the taste of Limbaugh's butt after having your lips on his ass for 20 years.

From: Matt

You stated that you don't listen to Limbaugh's show or agree with his political views. I suggest you spend a few months listening to his show and perhaps you will change your mind.

Or here's an idea: I could poke out my eardrums with a Fondu fork.

From: Todd

Man, I thought you were a radical left-winger, but your Limbaugh piece was so dead-on that I stood up and sang God Bless America in my cubicle. Then I was fired for offending a couple illegal aliens working down the hall.

Thanks for the giggle.

From: Rocco

Do you think Freeman read your piece on Limbaugh?

Yes. I have no idea. That was a lie.

From: Willie

Fantastic article on Limbaugh. I'm not a Rush listener, but I am a conservative, and the simple fact is that we are losing our freedom -- and yours is coming next. I applaud you for speaking up even when you may disagree with the individual. Wasn't that something Americans used to be able to do? I'm not sure what freedom you may lose, but I'm sure you will write something clever about it. Shortly before they imprison you.

I included your e-mail because the last sentence scared me, not because the first five sentences thrilled me. Another lie.

From: Chris C.

As a Team Doctor in the Mountain West Conference, I have to tell you that you don't have the first clue what you are talking about. Urban Meyer had absolutely nothing to do with the decision to play Tim Tebow. Nothing. Tebow was cleared medically, so he played.

Typical doctor with a God complex. You really think the DOCTOR decides who plays? The doctor clears him to play, medically, but the coach decides. You doctors -- dumbest smart people on earth.

From: Thomas Burns

OK. We agree on Skyline Chili. Who puts cinnamon in chili? I'd eat a bag of McGriddles before I'd touch Skyline again.

Cinnamon? I thought it was curry. It's nasty, whatever it is. And you leave the McGriddle out of this.

From: Thomas Burns

Might be nutmeg instead of cinnamon. Can't remember. Not going to seek out a Skyline to refresh my memory.

Still waiting on your apology to the McGriddle.

From: Kenny E.

I went to McDonalds and had to decide between a Sausage McMuffin and a McGriddle. I chose the McGriddle. Suddenly I don't think you're stupid and ugly -- you're intellectual and physically misunderstood. McGriddles could save the world.

I'm telling you. If they sold the McGriddle all day, I'd live in the dumpster behind McDonald's just to be nearby.

From: CT Hoosier

A link to SI.com on the front page of CBSSports.com? This is like buying a McGriddle at Wendy's.

Go easy on Sports Illustrated. I'm their version of the McGriddle, and they want to get closer to me. Which makes CBSSports.com a dumpst-- never mind. Stop causing problems, stalker.

From: Cody

I don't like your Jimmy Clausen article. I usually don't disagree with you, but you're wrong on this one. Oh, and one more thing. How do I become a staple in Hate Mail like CT Hoosier?

Well, start realistically. Try to become Burton DeWitt or Kenny E. or maybe, if you're on fire, Thomas Burns. Only then could you even think about making the leap to CT Hoosier. But then I'd have to file for a restraining order.

From: John

David J. Wallace was right in Hate Mail: You DO look like a pen**! Speaking of which, why do you keep putting phallic euphemisms in Hate Mail? Is it like some kind of bat signal between you and Thomas Burns and/or CT Hoosier?

This is the life you strive for, Cody? This?

From: Tony Millan

One small request. Will you PLEASE give us a hint about the link to your Wikipedia page -- maybe with an asterisk? I can't tell you how many times I've been curious about a link you've posted, only to find myself on that page.

If you hover your mouse over a link without clicking, it should show you somewhere on your computer what that link is. Try it on this link. Or this one. Here's another one.

From: Evan

You were so adamant to point out in Hate Mail a few weeks back that you were downsized from WCKY-1530 AM and not fired -- yet your Wikipedia page says, "He hosted the WCKY-AM show until he was fired on Dec. 13, 2007." Which is it?

Hell if I know. I'm just thrilled to hover my mouse over that link and see that I have a Wikipedia page*.

From: Milan Hayden

You have to be kidding me. Charlie Weis is a fat piece of garbage. You give sports writing a bad name -- you and that idiot Dodd!!!!

Why do you have to drag poor Dennis Dodd into this?

From: CP

Keep those moral victories coming for Charlie and Notre Dame against USC. You're as big an idiot as Dodd.

Why is everyone lumping me with that idiot Dodd? Ahem.

From: Joe

Until this morning I had read only one column of yours, back in January when you shredded the deification of Tebow. I thought your column childish. But last week on Rush Limbaugh you elicited the completely opposite reaction from me. Keep up the good work.

I'll try. Not that you'd notice.

From: John Merrell

Seem to me like another Yankee hater. Get a clue, man, and then someone will take you seriously. Writing is not for you. Try working at Wal-Mart.

I might just try that. But if a shoplifter tasers me, I'm tasering back. Believe it.

From: Tim S.

I've never written a writer about an article before now, but this was your best article yet. In fact, it was the best article I've ever read in my life. Thank you. I've sent it to 20 friends.

Whew! Until you came along, I was seriously thinking about that Wal-Mart thing.

From: Sam

I think you are terrible at what you do. The fact that you have a job is sad considering the unemployment rate in America. Since he's the guy who lets this go on, I should probably be more angry with your boss.

Yeah, you should be. The guy's a complete and total idiot. You won't print this e-mail, right, Sam? This is just you and me talking.

From: Trent

Whenever I read the mean comments underneath your articles I get really upset. It's like they're attacking my religion or my political views or LeBron James. Tell them to stop!

Forgive them as I have, my son. For they know not what they do.

From: CT Hoosier

I will be leaving for Cairo on Thursday morning. Any chance we can bump up this week's Hate Mail a few hours?

No chance. But since it's yesterday in Cairo, technically you're getting Hate Mail early anyway. Since we're in the future here, give me a lottery number.

From: Jeremy Byrd

I can't believe they let you write articles. While you are right that professional umpires have a very nice life, I think you're misinformed. I suggest you go umpire, learn the rules, positions and game management. Tim McClelland is a good umpire with experience and is very well respected in professional baseball. He simply made the biggest mistake an umpire cannot make -- and that is anticipation. And, yes, he did it twice.

Hahahahaha. Next time you want to write in defense of a friend ... don't. You're not terribly good at it, Jeremy.

From: D.L.R.

I hope your bed covers are warm. Because you are sleeping with the BCS system.

Just so we're clear: You're not saying I'm sleeping with former BCS coordinator John Swofford, right?

From: G-No

Sports writers like you kill me! Sure, the Yankees could play better -- but what makes you think Philly will still be great in the World Series? Anybody can write an article on what will happen because there are no facts to counter it. So you can say New York will be terrible and Philly great, and sway it to look good for your argument. Very creative, sir. I teach fourth grade in Detroit, and your writing would fit right in.

You have some precocious fourth-graders. Better get them some real tutelage. After having to clean up your e-mail like a toxic spill, I can tell you, Mr. G-No, that your students' academics are not in good hands.

From: Art Torley, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba

I don't know where you have been for the last two weeks, but Tebow's concussion was studied and analyzed by professionals more than any other football concussion in college football history. Calling the medical analysis in Tebow's case nothing more than "guess work" makes you a meathead. If you knew anything about the relationship between Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow, you would not write such an article and question Meyer's integrity.

I didn't read your note, but I'm printing it to show how far my words reach -- all the way to commie Cuba. Damn I'm good. Thanks, Art.