Updated Nov. 5
Head's up, people. Be on your best behavior. Judging from the message boards at the bottom of the last few sessions of Hate Mail, we're getting some new visitors.
And they are shocked at how business is conducted here at CBSSports.com.
From: Mark
All I can say is you're 1,000 times worse than anyone who sends Hate Mail, with your hateful responses to their mail -- and the way you print them for your amusement.
Not fair. Most readers, I'm printing their e-mail to give them a voice in this discussion. Your whiny little note, though, I printed for my own amusement.
From: Carmine I.
You're a Yankee hater and couldn't wait for a set-up man meltdown to spew your hatred. Phil Hughes was awesome during the regular season but has struggled during the postseason. Guess what? It happens to a lot of guys in MLB. Then again, you probably know that because you're smarter than everyone who reads your columns.
If your last sentence was sarcasm, I missed it.
From: Aussie Meyer
Saw you commenting on CNN on the Steve Phillips affair -- biggest impression I got was that you are a total idiot. You think it wouldn't be a big deal if she were better looking? Where is your moral compass, dude?
Good question. Better question: Why do you call yourself "Aussie Meyer"? I'd never write a big-time Australian sports writer and identify myself as "American Gregg." I'd feel silly.
From: Dawn
I just finished listening to that interview on CNN, and your comment -- the biggest deal is that she's not very pretty -- was rather ironic given your own appearance. Perhaps you should take a look in the mirror before you engage in your next putdown of a woman.
Hey, I also said the words: "I'm bald, I'm old, I got a crooked nose. I mean, who am I ..." My transparent attempt at false humility It's right there in the transcript.
From: Barney G.
I saw you on CNN and thought you did an excellent job of describing what was going on, and why. And I agree with your description of her.
Typical male pig.
From: Bob Margherito
Did you ever play baseball in your life? Maybe Little League.
I bring this up only when someone like you questions me. But to answer your question: Yes, I played baseball. Only as far as high school, but I was all-state in high school. Two years: 1987 and '88. At two different positions. Want my autograph?
From: Ron Messick
You sound like a typical columnist that never played a sport in his life.
Oh. And I was all-state in soccer, too. But only once. Check 1986.
From: David Cartledge
I am shocked that CBS actually pays you to write this garbage.
Think you're shocked now? If only you knew how much they pay me to write this garbage.
From: J.D.
You are a total idiot. I cannot believe you get paid to write this crap.
And I get paid a lot! Oh. Wait. I've already used that line this week.
From: Kyle
With all due respect, are you actually getting paid to write this crap?
Sigh. Yes. I get paid. And I was all-state in two sports in high ... oh. Sorry. Threw that in there out of habit.
From: Jordan K.
You were kidding about the Cairo thing last week, right? You do realize the city is six hours ahead of the Eastern Standard time zone, which the time zone Hate Mail is written.
What's your point? As I recall, I wrote that it's tomorrow in Cairo when it's today here. I was RIGHT. Are you accusing me of being lucky? I know the time zone of every major city in the world, and some of the minor ones. Like Boston.
From: CT Hoosier
Greetings from Cairo.
How is tomorrow, jet-setting stalker? Has anyone invented the hovering rocket ship yet?
From: Kenny E.
I am absolutely APPALLED at your, and fellow stalker TB's, hatred of Skyline Chili. You take it back or I will not stalk or write ever again.
Skyline sucks. Want to be an officially licensed stalker here? Give up Skyline for the McGriddle.
From: Dave
What do you think about those black taco commercials?
Needs a McGriddle reference.
From: Playground John
Your Hate Mail from Oct. 22 sucked. It wasn't funny or entertaining -- just a bunch of whiners. You know what would be fun? If you allowed the regulars (TB, CT Hoosier, Clayt, myself) to run Hate Mail for just one week! It'd be HILARIOUS! We're the five -- including you -- most entertaining and literate writers on CBSSports.com, anyway, so give us a shot!
Did you just lump four stalkers in there with ME? This is getting out of hand. I need to rein you jokers in a little bit.
From: Jordan
You should have an all-stalker version of Hate Mail. It would be interesting to see all the emails from CT Hoosier, Cody, T. Burns, etc. that don't make it each week.
Oh never mind. I give up. Next stalker to write, I don't know, three times in a row ... he gets printed. And it'll be a "he," too. Not a "she." Not sure why that is.
From: Burton DeWitt
Hey, wait a minute. I just Google news-searched my name, and I found that I was mentioned in Hate Mail last week. I thought we had an unwritten agreement that I would not make Hate Mail unless (A) I wrote you a letter that week or (B) a reader brought up how awesome I am in a letter to you. As I did not write you an e-mail last week, I feel slightly betrayed. And just to make sure you don't ignore this e-mail ... McGriddle.
The McGriddle gets me every time. So does the admission that you Google news-search your name. I'd like to mock you for the futility of that, Burton, but dammit it WORKED.
From: Burton DeWitt
By the way, let's play a quick game of editor. Last week you wrote: "Go easy on Sports Illustrated. I'm their version of the McGriddle, and they want to get closer to me." Find the grammatical error.
I see it. I referred to SI as a "they" when the appropriate pronoun was "it." Is it OK if I refer to you as "a pain in the ass"?
From: Burton DeWitt
I need to get a life. It's 9:41 p.m. on a Friday night, and I'm sitting on my couch watching hockey, drinking a mediocre pumpkin ale and sending you three e-mails in five minutes. On second thought, my life is awesome.
Throw in a Google news-search of your name, and you're in the Douchebag Hall of Fame.
From: UFgtr1992
Normally I enjoy the sarcastic tone of your musings, but at what point do you cease to be a petulant child and admit that maybe not everyone agrees with YOUR OPINION? I mean, hasn't the Tebow/concussion story been rehashed to death over the past few weeks as it is? You now resort to insulting people who don't see it the same way you do.
I disagree with the word "now."
From: Gade Hayes
Your last two blabbering columns are some of the most simple-minded garbage I've ever read. You're on the Internet, sir -- the whole world is watching. Go back to writing about football. Your Rush Limbaugh article was a masterpiece, but you need to leave the baseball writing to someone else.
Writing is like hitting a baseball: It's all about the sample size. Read me for weeks, and you'll see my brilliance. Well, it might take months. Maybe years. How old are you, anyway, Gade? You got a few decades?
From: Jonathan Canoe
Glad to see that you finally had the chance to channel your inner Rob Neyer.
Who? I'm partial to Bill Nye the Science Guy, anyway. But I would be -- I have two kids. And they're both boys, because I'm masculine as hell. Believe it, bub.
From: Nathan Branahl
Your Boisinnati article was one of the worst pieces of work I have read in a while. My advice for you is to use real arguments to defend your points, not witty remarks and short phrases. And when you use statistics, at least make them relevant to the topic at hand.
Hold on. Slow down. Could you maybe put these tips into a PowerPoint presentation?
From: Read my e-mail address
You're an idiot. The SEC is up to four years -- and running -- with a BCS championship.
Jeez, and in that article I used real arguments to defend my points -- not witty remarks or short phrases. I even used statistics that were relevant to the topic at hand. You sure I'm an idiot?
From: Read my e-mail address
I'm sorry. I called you an idiot after reading only half your article. I have read the entire piece now and think you more of a total uninformed a--hole than an idiot. Sorry for the confusion.
Better.
From: Robert Thompson
I'm a Georgia Tech fan and I remembered this article when you wrote it in August 2008. Any chance we can get a follow-up?
Damn I'm good.
From: Dan
True or False: How fast will Fedor destroy Brett Rogers?
(D) All of the above.
From: McDeath
I'm not nearly witty enough to attack you with the appropriate savagery to satisfy my own high standards. That said, I was wondering if you could post a Top 10 of all-time Hate Mail -- a "best of" list, if you will. You must have some favorites.
I do. Buy the book. It's coming.
From: Sam
Who do you think are the best and worst sports writers on CBS? I'd say Parrish is the best and there is a three-way tie for worst between Freeman, Dodd and Prisco.
I should be in there somewhere. And not in your final 10 words.
From: Chris H.
Can you do me a solid and walk over to wherever Dodd is and ... I dunno ... maybe punch him in his ugly face repeatedly for being such a douche? It's comments like this one that will ensure that you reign supreme as the No. 1 writer and probably the most intelligent person at CBSSports.com.
But I thought we've already established that I reign supreme as the No. 1 writer here. I did establish that in the last answer, I'm pretty sure. Go read it again.
From: Rocco
At least once a month it would be great if you and Freeman could go at one another on a few hot issues. I think it would be even more fun than Pete Prisco vs. Clark Judge. And we know you would win just by showing up most of the time.
It would be fun and your final sentence was obvious.
From: Bill Jimotino
Your articles are worse than four-day-old casserole, and you are always critical. Could you do better? I'd like to see you get blindsided from Polamalu!
Depends on the casserole, doesn't it? I'm a leftover guy. Hamburger Helper gets better by the day, right up to the point where it could walk out of the kitchen on its own.
From: Mike Flores
Saw your analogy in the Mariano Rivera column, but there are millions if not billions of planets orbiting yellow stars on which one could witness a sunset pretty much identical to one seen on earth. Just so you know.
Terrific. Send me a postcard.
