Hate Mail: Here's a prediction -- what follows will rip me
Updated Dec. 10
Let me ask you a question: When you click on a link here, or anywhere really, who do you think you're reading? Nostradamus?
You're not. Here in particular, you're reading a common man. Me. I'm not an oracle or a seer, and I'm damn sure not Nostradamus. So when I write that Florida is greatness and will beat Alabama in the SEC title game, keep in mind that I'm only human. Just a man. Imperfect. And I can be hurt like anyone else.
Oh, screw it. I messed up that Florida-Alabama prediction big-time, didn't I? Let me have it. This ain't Hallmark Mail.
From: Bob
Great article. You are dead on. Oh wait -- you said Florida was greatness. Never mind. Roll Tide.
In fairness to my prediction, the Gators were without their best beer pong pro prospect, defensive end Carlos Dunlap.
From: Brian
So Mr. Doyel, how do you feel about what you wrote now?
Ripped off. Because Carlos Dunlap would have been the best player on the field.
From: Tracy Wimberley
Great column, Gregg. Roll Tide.
Hell, Dunlap is the best player in the history of football.
From: Jeff Smith
Alabama 32, Florida 13. Do you know what greatness looks like now?
Sure I do. I see it in the mirror every morning.
From: Ty Davis
Elusive greatness found in Florida. HAHAHAHAHA.
I bet nobody ever laughed at Nostradamus.
From: Larry H.
I hate to bring this up, but I just looked up the two books you wrote on Amazon. Ouch! I believe one has an average measly rating of one star, and the other has a whopping 1½ stars.
But Nostradamus never wrote a basketball book! Not even two crappy basketball books! Nor was he all-state in baseball (check out 1988)!
From: Jerry
Greatness is indeed elusive. We wait with bated breath for your calculated rant on the readers who call you out for being stupid. Or you could just make fun of them.
Nope. I'm taking the high road. This situation calls for maturity and humility, and I'm your man.
From: Drake Knapp
You are a moron!
And you're a computer geek with bad hair. Looked you up. Maturely and humbly.
From: Mark Swafford
The search for greatness is CERTAINLY over!
Your name is an anagram for "mark of dwarfs.
From: Dave
You anagram us? Fine. I'll anagram you. Egged glory. Dog leg grey. Grey dog gel.
Not bad. But I prefer Legged Orgy.
From: Nick F.
This doesn't really constitute as Hate Hail but I was just forced to go see The Blind Side. It was an OK movie, but seriously? Michael Oher already has a movie? Gregg Doyel has done more than Michael Oher. If Gregg Doyel had a movie, what would it be named?
I still prefer Legged Orgy.
From: John
When I read mindless tripe like yours on the Colts and Saints, I remember what Bill Polian once said about "experts" like yourself: "If they truly knew the game and understood it, they wouldn't be writing columns or sitting in front of a camera -- they'd be employed by a team in the league."
I prefer it when readers remind me of that great Bob Knight quote: "All of us learn to write in second grade. Most of us go on to greater things." Cracks me up. My reaction to Knight's zinger, every time, is this: I learned how to dribble a basketball before I learned how to write.
From: Jonathan Canoe
I was going to insightfully raise the inherent hypocrisy between your Tiger Woods and Erin Andrews articles, but the message board is already nailing that. Shall you respond with my favorite Emerson quotation: "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds"?
That last dude quoted Bill Polian. I quoted Bob Knight. And now you quote Ralph Waldo Emerson. When does someone quote Gregg Doyel?
From: Chris Harrington
"Florida will be in the national championship in six weeks. It's not guess work. It's common sense." How does it feel to be completely wrong?
Weird. I thought it would feel better to be quoted.
From: Ryan Harris
Pretty hypocritical for you to say how much you want to know about Tiger's sex life, but you scolded people for looking at the Erin Andrews video and commenting on it.
You're comparing the Erin Andrews situation to Tiger Woods and his mistresses? Erin Andrews was the victim of a crime. Completely innocent. Tiger is no victim, and his women are the ones shooting off their mouths and posing for pictures! They want me to see what they look like, whereas ERIN ANDREWS WAS SPIED ON. Come on now, Ryan.
From: Dan J.
Sorry, Gregg. I just don't care. About the sex, I mean. I'm 52 and all I care about is if Tiger wins and by how much. He's a golfer. Nothing more, certainly nothing less, and that's how I'll judge him.
Don't care about sex, and you're 52? Hmmm. Try Viagra. I hear it works. I HEAR it works, people.
From: Brian
"But you can't stop me from looking"??!?! This is surprisingly hypocritical in light of your correct stance on avoiding the Erin Andrews video. I see no difference in this story, as neither person's actions was intended for public knowledge. I am less of a Tiger fan now, but I'm especially disappointed by you, my moral compass! If you were looking for sarcasm in this response, that was it.
Tiger brought this scrutiny on himself. Erin Andrews was alone in her hotel room. Big difference. But thank you for quoting me.
From: Jay
Do you guys at CBS pay attention to the Most Popular Columns rankings? I imagine a competition between yourself, Freeman and Dodd to write the most contentious and mindless rants -- just to get the most comments. Then you guys can be at the top of this list of dumbasses.
Like Prisco doesn't do the same thing.
From: Art
You are so wrong about Bobby Bowden. FSU forced Bowden to retire. FSU should apologize for this treatment. Bowden was the scapegoat for a horrible season.
The head coach is the scapegoat? The head coach of 34 years? Never heard that before. Bet I never hear it again, either, though I'm not Nostra ... you know.
From: Craig Drawdy
Your opinion on Bobby Bowden SUCKS! Bowden is one of the greatest coaches ever. No team can have a winning season every year, but Florida State sure had a hell of a run. So keep your sorry opinion to yourself because nobody wants to hear it. And if you don't like that ... too bad!
If I don't like it ... too bad? That "scapegoat" guy was smarter than you. And as his friends would tell you, that almost never happens.
From: Seminole
Your perspective is more screwed up than the spelling of your first name. Bowden created FSU's national prominence. Two g's ... is that the extent of your journalistic integrity?
And you're dumber than both of them. Mocking my name. Good grief ...
From: CT Hoosier
Moving to a house 511 miles away from yours. In the past, I've lived 699 miles and even an unhealthy 11,219 miles away. Share the good news with all our Hate Mail friends.
You know, I got your LinkedIn notice yesterday. Saw you got a promotion to "analyst." Wondered how you got such a promotion in China. I felt safer yesterday -- that's my point. And they're not "our" Hate Mail friends, you mouthy little stalker.
From: Kevin McGill
Trust me Gregg, I think all sports writers are idiots, but I think you're the biggest. How can you talk about the Colts and Saints when they don't even play? You don't know who would really win.
Yes I do. I know all.
From: Bama Bill
Gators, greatness? Roll Tide!
Oh. Right.
From: Chris
I waited as long as possible to comment on your article of Oct. 21, 2008, where you basically called Lane Kiffin and UT a joke. You need to publicly take it back. His first season was better than Phil Fulmer's last, and we are once again going to a bowl game. Not shabby for someone starting from scratch.
Damn. I'm never right.
