Dec. 11, 2009

When asked about Tiger, it's best to follow Golden Bear rule

By Ray Ratto | CBSSports.com Columnist

Jack Nicklaus is smarter than all of us, or at least is more capable of strategic thinking. For he, as far as we know, is the only one so far who, when asked about the leak at the Tiger Woods nuclear power plant, said it was none of his business.

Now with the new revelations that fellow golfers Ben Crane and Charles Warren were quoted by Life & Style magazine as being critical of Woods, and then subsequently denied ever talking to anyone from Life, let alone Style, about Woods, we aren't sure who has said what about whom or for what reason.

'That's a private matter for him and his family,' Jack Nicklaus says of the Tiger Woods situation. (Getty Images)

In fairness, his analysis wasn't perfect. He said at one point, "Our public is pretty forgiving at times," of which there seems little evidence. He also said, "He's a great athlete. He'll figure it out," when in fact athletes are like all other classes of people in that being great and figuring it out are often mutually exclusive things.

But Nicklaus knew a field of dung-enriched land mines when he saw one, and rather than engage in the topic du jour, he decided to get in and get out without casting either a difficult defense or third-person aspersions. He got out of the way.

And frankly, more power to him for having the wit to see that there was literally nothing for him in contributing to the "debate," if that's what you want to call it. Mostly, it's been people shrieking about shattered illusions, media irresponsibility and a growing line of women saying, "Yeah, me too."

Like most stories of this kind, the need for speed has far outstripped any other consideration, as sides have formed and agendas have been pushed. We are now at the "What endorsements has he lost?" stage of the story, even debating whether he lost his Gatorade deal before or after the Grand Theft Auto: Driveway game which helped spark this hell-storm.

And when you've gotten down to the endorsement story, you've about milked the cow dry. I mean, what's one more pneumatic woman announcing her clandestine relationship with Woods at this point? Is there a way to keep them straight, or even a desire to?

No. Not really. I mean, you can, because the Internet has the full list and can leap into action the next time someone steps up to announce her piece of the action. But why at this point would you really want to bother unless you just wanted the number right, and even at that, how many of his partners have chosen not to speak at all?

In other words, the details are now a gray smear, and are only slightly more useful than all the pathetic "Here's how Tiger should win back his image" stories that only serve to prove that people don't want the Woods myth to go away, they just want it to change shape to meet the new realities.

Which is why Nicklaus is smartest of all. A few quick aphorisms is all he could afford without looking like he was piling on, so that's all he provided.

"Time usually heals all wounds," he said, borrowing from what we can only imagine is a doily hung in the family kitchen. "I think the hardest thing is obviously his family. That's a private matter for him and his family."

Well, yes. Nothing earth-shattering there. Just the smart play.

As for Crane and Warren, who either did or didn't get sandbagged by the Life & Style reporter, they either learned the hard way what comes of speaking on the topic, or just plain got screwed by someone who wanted a quote and needed two relatively anonymous golfers to hide behind. I mean, was Ben Crane's opinion on Tiger Woods on the magazine's assignment desk that morning? Did Charles Warren suddenly become a go-to Tiger expert when we weren't looking?

We await developments. Or better yet, we don't. The Tiger Woods story is no longer the gift that keeps on giving. It has run out of steam for the time being, and the only way it can really start again is if/when he decides to have the Oprah-style confessional that we hope he doesn't do and yet are sure is coming.

We suspect Jack Nicklaus will be watching. We are sure he won't be commenting, and God love him for that.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle.