Hate Mail: Who let the dogs out? We do, every Thursday
Updated Jan. 21
I have this theory about Hate Mail. I've never shared it until now, but I've always had it. Here goes:
When readers are really, really mad at something I wrote about their favorite team -- as is the case this week with fans of the Colts and the Volunteers -- there are two possibilities. One, I screwed up. Or, two, they're scared that I might be right. And in their fear they lash out, like a scared dog.
Since I almost never screw up, it appears that I just called a portion of my reading population "dogs," and I want to apologize for that analogy. To dogs. I love dogs.
And how do I feel about you? Refer to the name of this weekly story. Please. And thank you.
From: Brandon Beisel
The Colts are a riding mower??! You are by far the worst journalist I have ever read. Nice picture too by the way. You look like one of those over-aged wannabe hardasses. I bet you wear skin-tight Affliction shirts too, you poser.
Matter of fact, I do. And I notice you didn't actually refute my story -- you just attacked the messenger. And why is that? Because you're scared the messenger might be right.
From: Mike Basile
Garbage article. Were you serious?
I was. Sorry I scared you. Try sleeping with a nightlight tonight.
From: All_in3
What an assbag you are! First and last time I will read your CRAP! Trying to make yourself bigger than the sport!
Your fear is damn near palpable.
From: Gerald K.
After the Colts win the Super Bowl, you'll be hearing from me. If I see you, I'll just punch you in the face instead.
Your fear isn't so palpable, but it's there. Down deep.
From: Colts 18
I think I would enjoy killing you.
Way, way, way, way down deep.
From: Matt C.
I am a first-time reader of yours. I never even think about making comments to writers, but I felt compelled to express to you how refreshing your writing style and opinions are. I look forward to reading more.
And if I have to read one more physical threat from any of you deranged ... um, what was that? Oh. I see. Well. Thank you.
From: Brett Hughes
Wow, everybody on the message boards really seems to agree with your assessment of the Colts and their offensive attack. Nice try.
If the message boards say I'm wrong, by golly, I must be wrong. But I'm right about this: Your name is an anagram for "sherbet thug." Too bad you're not a Tennessee fan.
From: Carrie K.
Just read your column. I think you went a little far condemning all Tennessee fans for the actions of 1,000 college students. If you care to check out Vols message boards, there were fans condemning how they acted. Not all the people in Tennessee are redneck hillbillies.
Redneck hillbillies? Hahahaha. Some advice, Carrie: Next time you want to write a letter to a national website to defend your fans' honor ... don't.
From: Sandi Castellaw
Not all Vols fans are losers, Gregg. We come in all ages and most of us are very educated adults that were at home with our children on the night Lane Kiffin bailed out on us.
Point taken, Sandi, but you need to be mad at the ONE THOUSAND students who were absolutely losers. And be mad at the scores of Internet fans who passed around the Kiffins' phone numbers and home address. And be mad at Carrie K. for calling you a redneck hillbilly. And be mad at this next guy, too.
From: Richard
You wrote, What Tennessee's fans did after Kiffin resigned went way beyond "disgraceful" and ventured deep into the heart of "frightening." That was the POINT, dummy. If the Weasel feared for his life, even for a second, mission accomplished. This is SEC football, and people care.
Thank you, Richard. May I call you Dick? Thank you, Dick, for confirming my point. What happened that night in Knoxville was psycho. YOU are psycho. You probably think that's a good thing. You would ... you psycho.
From: Ron Cena
Tennessee fans, losers? C'mon, now you showed you have no class. Calling out fans that were not even there. Now you are on our BLACK LIST. You just attacked a whole fan base that can control advertising dollars. Not very smart.
I don't care. Advertising is all about demographics, and CBS isn't concerned about losing the "mattress-burning psycho" demographic. NBC can have you.
From: Doug
Tennessee fans are losers because some stupid kids did something stupid? Those kids did nothing to stain me as a Tennessee fan, and you saying so doesn't make it true. Indeed, if you were to tell me the sky was blue, I would feel obliged to take a quick peek outside.
Technically, Doug, the sky isn't blue. It's nothing. It's air. But the Rayleigh scattering of light waves allows most of the longer waves -- the reds, oranges and yellows -- to pass through unnoticed. The shorter waves, what we call "blue," are absorbed by gas molecules. Those are the waves we see. The whole "sky is blue" thing is an illusion, is my point. Much like your intelligence.
From: Jeff
Poor perspective on the whole thing. Impassioned students of UT get a little crazy with the news that their coach has decided to leave for an inferior program. Tennessee lands a better coach than most of the ones they had their eye on, and will now compete each year without fear of Derek Dooley leaving.
Hang on. You're saying Tennessee football is superior to Southern Cal. And you're saying Derek Dooley -- with his 17-20 record at Podunk Tech -- is a better coach than both David Cutcliffe, who won at Duke, and Troy Calhoun, who won at Air Force. And you're accusing ME of having poor perspective? Son, you're afflicted with all sorts of stupid.
From: Thad Hunter
I looked you up and you are without a doubt a nobody writer.
No kidding. All you found was my Wikipedia page and my two books and a doctored photo of me at a poker table with dogs and my, ahem, all-state (1987, '88) playing days -- in two sports, ('86) -- from high school. After finding only that, you were correct to conclude that I'm a nobody. But here's the thing, Tim: You know my name, and I've already forgotten yours.
From: Cash Reeves
your stupid
Hahahaha. Two words, three mistakes straight out of second grade. 1. Didn't capitalize the first letter. 2. No punctuation. 3. It's "you're," as in "you are." But other than that, your words wound me deeply. Because I take criticism from a mental giant such as yourself very, very seriously.
From: Brian
Gregg Doyel should know all about losers ... he is one.
Zing! You sure got me, Brian. But two can play at that game: I'm rubber and you're glue, and what bounces off me sticks to you.
From: Scott
You call yourself a journalist? I was writing better articles at Homestead Junior High than this. Go Vols!
Another zing! You trash-talking Tennessee fans are on FIRE. Quick, someone in my corner throw in the towel. I've had enough.
From: John White
You are a moron with a keyboard. I bet your writing teacher would vomit if she read the trash you write.
Writing teacher? Good grief, John. You can't simply "learn" writing like you can learn the piano. Not writing like I do it, anyway. I have a gift. And a spell-checker.
From: Taylor
While I agree that what the students at Tennessee did may have been a little out of hand, I think it is unfair for you to categorize every Tennessee fan as a loser.
What UT fans did that night "may have been a little out of hand," huh? You don't mince words, Taylor. When you have something to say, you come right out and ... say nothing. What you need, in short, is a writing teacher.
From: Kenny E.
THAT IS RIDICULOUS! I hadn't even sent my first email when that Wiki page was written! If a family picture is taken in 2000, and the last member of the family is born in 2002, is that kid not part of the family still? You hurt me, Burton, you hurt me deep ...
This is in reference to last week, when Burton announced that he had edited my Wikipedia page and removed Kenny E.'s name. And why would Burton do that? Because CT Hoosier hadn't included Kenny E. when he created that section of my Wiki page in the first place. Who ARE these people, you may be wondering? They're my stalkers. I collect them. When I have enough, I will send them out to do my bidding.
From: Joey Montgomery
I'm disappointed in your Mark McGwire article. Sometimes I don't agree with your opinions, but I always felt your writings were written with integrity. I appreciate your honesty -- that you would have cheated your way to the top, if possible -- but I thought Gregg Doyel was better than that.
You thought wrong. Sucker!
From: Brad
Just wanted to comment on your latest drivel regarding Kiffin and the Tennessee reaction. Facts are your friends. Simply regurgitating what you hear on ESPNews as you are stuffing your face with the leftover Domino's hot wings, lying in bed before hitting the lights, is a poor way to form an opinion. But I don't blame you. You are simply another copy-pasting, forward-texting, forgot-what-the-word-research means, cookie-cutter mindless unoriginal sensationalist sorry excuse for a journalist-blogospherin'-opportunistic-John Doe blogger in a medium that never has and never will have any credibility to any self-respecting, half-way intelligent reader. Even though you are only a symptom of the problem, you are also the virus. But hey, whatever generates hits -- ammarite??? And before your first response inside that hollow globe of a head pops up -- then why respond? -- I enjoy ramming my head into brick walls repeatedly.
I like you. Hope you're OK with that.
