Hate Mail: Leaving a (horseshoe) mark over Colts prediction

Updated Jan. 28

So last week we got into some pretty deep topics, and from a pretty enlightened point of view -- for me, anyway. In one story I celebrated Kansas State fans for not rushing the court after a win against No. 1 Texas, suggesting that it signals a new era of self-respect. In another story I criticized my own company, CBS, for allowing a political commercial about abortion onto the Super Bowl airwaves.

Pretty deep, for me. And very respectful -- for me. I was pleased, and was looking forward to Hate Mail.

So what happens? Everyone throws in my face a prediction from a few weeks back that the Colts didn't have enough weapons to win a big-boy game and get to the Super Bowl.

Yeah, well, I hate you right back.

From: Brad

I wrote you last week when you were ripping on the Colts for not being a big-play offense. How did that work out for ya? How did Pierre Garcon setting an AFC title game record for a receiver work out for ya? How about Austin Collie and his 100-plus receiving yards -- how did that work out for ya? Three touchdowns and 370 passing yards for Peyton Manning. Again, how did that work out for ya? Good call, Gregg. How in the hell did you get this job?

By writing about abortion, I guess.

From: Tyler

Doyel you suck! What happened? It must be a fluke that the Colts are in the Super Bowl, right? Oh well. I can't wait to read your next piece on how the Colts might as well just forfeit the Super Bowl. Nice picture, though, you pretentious-looking ass.

I was wrong about the Colts. I'll give you that. And my picture is ridiculous. I'll even give you that. But PRETENTIOUS? I'm not wearing a coat or tie. I'm not even wearing a collar. It's a T-shirt.

From: Bryan

Man, if only the Colts had a big-play offense ...

What's pretentious about a T-shirt?

From: John

In regard to your article about the Colts ... what you don't know about the NFL could fill the Grand Canyon!

And I was naked from the waist down!

From: Dennis Scott

I will never read another one your articles again after today. Even when the Colts win, you are negative. My Lord I haven't seen this much hatred since watching that bozo Rod Woodson on NFL Network.

Wrong. There was nothing negative (about the Colts) in my story from Colts-Jets. Manning beat the Jets by staying away from Darrelle Revis. I didn't call Manning scared. I called him smart. And effective. What more do you want? And stop comparing me to Woodson. That guy already made it into the Hall of Fame on my coattails, and I'm sick of it.

From: Scott

You sir are the biggest loser of them all. How dare you lump all Tennessee fans together and call us losers. Who do you think you are? Who appointed you master of all things?

Not sure who made that appointment. Probably the same person who made my Wikipedia page.

From: CT Hoosier

I will never again edit Wikipedia. I had no idea it could get so controversial.

Oh, right. That was you. Ubiquitous little stalker ...

From: RockyTopATL

I was a journalist for 30 years and I almost never get worked up enough about a column to rant at the author. But you, sir, are an ass. Tennessee fans take it from this California clown Lane Kiffin -- this illiterate idiot, Monte's punk -- and you have to gall to pile on with this ill-informed screed? Down here in the South, we have a phrase we apply to such lowlife behavior: You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Sorry you couldn't hack it in my field. Want my autograph?

From: Oliver

Do you just not get it or are you intentionally ignorant?

I gotta go with (C). Don't even know what (C) is. But I'm sure I don't like (A) or (B).

From: Chuck

Just finished your story on the Colts. If they win the Super Bowl, will you grow your hair?

From your mouth to God's ears.

From: Cody

Were you instructed to quit challenging readers to fights? I'm just wondering because I haven't seen that in a while. What's your prediction for your upcoming fight against that former NFL player that I've never heard of? Please look at the camera and say "Pain" like Mr. T. in Rocky III.

The fight fell through! The entire card fell through. "Contractual dispute with the venue," is what the promoter told us. So now I'm not fighting Terry Kirby. I'd been training like an SOB for three months for those three rounds, and now it's off. On the bright side, I'm in the best shape of my life. Any idea how good that is? It's pretty freaking good.

From: John Metzguer

As a 67-year-old Volunteer, I'm aghast at what happened on many fronts. But for you to label UT fans -- for what was committed by a relatively small group of young people -- is a gross unfairness to the many, many thousands of us who just shook our heads and moved on. Some stories just don't need to be published, much less given wide distribution. What purpose did it serve?

I'm hoping it embarrassed Tennessee fans. That was the goal, anyway. Wait -- you did want an honest answer, right?

P.S. And what is it about a senior citizen that makes you include your age in every e-mail? You're older than me. I get it. What do you want, a medal?

From: DeBaun

I would like to know how you got that article on Lane Kiffin postdated Oct. 28, 2008. No one could have gotten that one so right. Or ... how did everybody get it so wrong?

I'll tell you how it happened: When I swing, I swing for the fences. Which means I'm not hitting singles -- I'm hitting bombs. On the other hand, when I miss ...

From: Rich Murchione

Nice job on the Colts. You, my friend, are a complete and total moron.

Your name is an anagram for "much rhinoceri.

From: Robert

Vols fans have justification to be irate with Kiffin. Why do you use last week's Hate Mail to inflame their indignation further with a poison pen? You can take that poison pen and shove it!

Technically I write not with a pen, but a laptop. It's about 10 inches by 14 inches, and before you go there -- no. I won't shove it. Not sure that's even anatomically possible.

From: Mike Rex

Unlike most of your readers who attack you on the off-chance they'll make it to your weekly Hate Mail section, I'm not going to do that. Love your work, man.

Thanks, but you'll never make it into Hate Mail with a note like that. Better luck next time.

From: Jeromie W.

I couldn't disagree more on your opinion of rushing the court. The act is an essential, symbolic gesture. It says that the support from those in the crowd is as important as those team members who are playing, and makes a sincere and tangible connection between the two entities. Rushing the court affirms that fans care about their team and their team cares about them. It's a moment of harmony and humanity.

Oh, brother. Nobody has ever taken himself, or his role in the world, more seriously than you do. I had to look you up, and found you. Congratulations on being "Brother of the Week" a few years back at Delta Upsilon. Not sure about it there in the Northeast, but in the South we called it "Delta ... oops, I joined the dork fraternity."

From: Michael Shea

That celebration stuff is why I can't stand volleyball -- high school or college. After a spike, they all run around and slap high fives. Isn't the point to set up someone for the spike? If you're successful, you did your job. Good for you. Enough already with the high fives after every point.

I think it's creepy when the local newspaper runs photos of a 14-year-old's butt in skin-tight volleyball shorts. I said that on the radio once and got hammered by feminists who accused ME of objectifying little girls! I thought I was defending them! Anyway ... we agree on the high fives.

From: Burton DeWitt

At Rice, we stormed the field after we beat Tulane to get to 1-9 on the season. I was utterly embarrassed. And we're supposedly a smart school.

Hahahahaha I think that's sort of cute.

From: Josh L.

I got tricked into clicking on one of your links. Seems the headlines don't have bylines attached. I almost backed out as soon as I saw the author image -- but I was here, and I wanted to see what was meant by the cryptic and oh-so-clever "moving-forward-by-standing-still" headline. You, obviously, have forgotten what it's like being a college student and sports fan. Rushing the court is an incomparable joy.

Good sex is an incomparable joy. But you wouldn't know, Josh, so by all means, rush the court. Enjoy a smoke afterward.

From: Vince Terry

Tennessee is one of the most prominent college football programs throughout history, not a stepping-stone job, which is how Kiffin treated it. Don't knock Derek Dooley before he has coached his first game at UT. You are the biggest loser for judging other people without knowing them. Show me you are a man by responding to this.

No.

From: Tony

Dude ... kill yourself

No.

From: Just me

Do you really think you're that much smarter than everyone else?

No ... wait!

From: CT Hoosier

I'm thinking that you, as an all-state athlete (1987, '88) with a Wikipedia page and a semi-legitimate boxing bout around the corner, have actually been on the decline. The day you became a "national columnist," true fans could see your most appreciated skills deteriorating. Your new cushy job doesn't require investigative reporting, instead paying you to attend the most exciting games the major professional sports leagues offer.* Fundamentals like Dribbling were thrown out the door. The disappointing sequel, Blogg Doyel, was short-lived, inconsistent and never lived up to the initial billing as a place to critique the media. You couldn't play nicely, gave up and now the closest thing we have is an occasionally feisty Twitter post from your couch. If your viewing numbers are up, your readers must be the people responsible for Allen Iverson starting in the All-Star game.

*In the United States only, as Gregg lacks a passport.

Aren't stalkers supposed to LIKE the object of their creepy affection?

From: McLife

Greggorivitch, writing for a mainstream media outlet as you do makes you obvious pinko liberal swine. That said, I do take a bit of umbrage with the line in your Brian Kelly story in which you exclaim: "A liberal! And they're in favor of abortion!" Pinkos like you should know that liberals aren't in favor of abortion, but are in favor of protecting the rights of women to CHOOSE whether or not to have an abortion. It's an important distinction, methinks. Now get back out there and kill some fetuses. Attaboy, Lefty.

Yours in rapturous garb,

McDeath

Priceless.