Complaint about Danica? You're talking to the wrong guy
I came prepared to bury Danica Patrick as the Uncle Tom of women. Then I looked in the mirror.
The only reason most of us don't flaunt our looks the way Patrick is flaunting her GoDaddyness -- all the way to her weekend NASCAR debut at Daytona -- is because most of us don't look like her. If we did, we would.
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| Haters, take notice: Danica Patrick isn't too pretty to inspect sparkplugs at the track. (AP) |
We sit back and judge Patrick for showing a hint of her lady parts, label her an affirmative-action baby and look down our elongated noses and scold her as a sellout.
Truth is, I've believed such a notion a few times myself, but the more you read about Patrick -- and actually meet her, as I have -- the more you apply a little rudder correction and realize the blatant hypocrisy and sexism at work in all of us.
Tiger Woods long flaunted his Caublasian-ness (we're just now seeing how much). Entire Olympic teams were photographed in the nude, and Jim Brown was once in Playgirl. Another Brown, Scott, who just replaced Ted Kennedy in the U.S. Senate, once posed basically nude in Cosmo. That wasn't held against him, and he's a senator. The sports and political worlds are full of men flaunting their pecs and peculiars.
There's something else to consider when talking about Patrick. NASCAR is a dying sport. Fuel costs have risen dramatically and interest has declined by almost any measurable standard. It doesn't take a Venn diagram to see Patrick and NASCAR need each other.
Some people don't want to admit that fact, but it's accurate. It seems many look for any reason to blast Patrick. Her latest series of commercials are the most recent cannon fodder. Her GoDaddy spots are indeed infantile, but we can't scold Patrick while we have one hand on the remote control, surfing through the sexual wasteland that is television, and the other on our keyboard, perusing porn.
It's particularly amusing to hear the occasional gripe from male drivers (and journalists) complaining about Patrick. Most NASCAR drivers are hardworking people who care about their craft. But some are just as political and petulant as other athlete. Those drivers would dress up like Johnny Weir if a company paid them $500. Patrick is earning hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions, for her gorgeousness. Of course she's going to do it. Because she can. Most people would. You and I do not.
| Danica Patrick links |
Because we can't.
You get me?
This question Patrick was asked at a Thursday news conference symbolizes the jealousy some have. She was asked: "Race drivers, particularly in NASCAR, it's an ego-driven sport, big names, but you're dominating the attention. It's beginning to overshadow the Daytona 500. Is there any uneasiness that comes with that?"
It's a bogus question, borderline offensive, and she handled it like a pro, making me like her even more.
"You phrase it that way, a little bit [laughter]," she said. "I'm lucky. But I can't control how much is out there and what people say, how much they say. I don't by any means want to take away from the amazing drivers that are out there and doing well and also having their first race in Nationwide, or also being their first race in Cup, you know, changing teams, being with a good team. That's not my mission, is to be the big story.
"But, you know, on the other hand, if I can do anything to help the series, the other drivers, perhaps drag in some sponsors, I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to do it. And I get benefit from that, too. So there's a lot of reasons why this is a good thing."
This week, the host of a racing show on Showtime called Patrick "the Sarah Palin of NASCAR." I'm not sure what that means. It may be a compliment, but since Palin is all hat and no cattle, it doesn't sound like one. You betcha.
The hypocrisy of men is astounding. That's all the dislike of Patrick is about. It's big, fat hypocrisy.
Plus, Patrick can race. If you haven't seen that, then you haven't been paying attention. She performed well at the crash-filled ARCA race at Daytona, finishing sixth. If a guy had pulled some of the masterful saves she did in that race, he'd be hailed as heroic.
Patrick's earned this shot, and who cares what she wears when outside out of her racecar? Although, granted, this outfit is a tad ridiculous.
Over the next 48 hours, if you hate Patrick, turn your Twitter and TV off. Between those GoDaddy commercials and her actual race, she's going to be on television more than Peyton Manning. Some of you would rather cover your chin with waffle syrup and be strapped next to a hornet's nest than be subjected to Danica Patrick.
Not me. Not any longer. Despite my love/hate relationship, she remains an interesting attraction, mostly because she's good at what she does.
On the track.
