National Columnist

Hate Mail: How is this my fault?


Updated Aug. 12

LSU coach Les Miles completely screwed over a freshman on his football team, and I objected, and LSU fans were furious. With me!

Les Miles might be the smartest person associated with LSU. And Les Miles is a freaking idiot.

Hate Mail is ready for you clowns. What happened, anyway? You couldn't get into Ole Miss?

From: Brett Flournoy

Nothing better to write about? What a numbnuts article this is. I think you're a bad guy frankly, very bad. Coaches have little choice but to oversign until the NCAA certifies unqualified recruits. Les Miles signs two over the limit, and you have an orgasm?

Miles treated one of his own recruits like a pawn shop treats a cheap stereo ... and I'm the bad guy because I don't like it? You're an idiot, Brett. Be cavalier with something other than a human being, you piece of ...

From: Lance

You're a coward for indirectly calling the coaches cheaters.

Hang on. As you said, I indirectly called some of the most powerful coaches in college football a cheater, including three coaches from the SEC, which has an $800 million contract with my own company, CBS. And somehow I'm a coward? Stupid, yes. Coward? Not even on my weakest day.

From: J.F. Johnson

Based on the obvious attempt to sensationalize fiction I would surmise the scumbag here is Doyel. Most of these kids are told up front that they may have to grayshirt if someone unexpectedly qualifies. In fact, gray-shirting is one of the better things college football has going for it. It allows kids to live out their dream even if they are not as mature physically to compete as some others.

LSU freshman Elliott Porter was pulled out of his dorm room and told to pack his stuff and get out. Just another day for that kid, living the dream.

From: Ron

Your article on scholarships being taken away from kids was right on. This happened to my son after two years at Ole Miss playing baseball. He was on the honor roll for grades, but because they wanted to go in a different direction his world was turned upside down. The coach had 21 new kids coming in, and he cleaned house.

Exactly right. I see this as a father, not as a sports fan -- and if Elliott Porter were my son, Les Miles and I would've had an international incident.

From: Dale Dandene

Gregg Doyel is a child molester pedophile AIDS-infected little (deleted) who makes (deleted) up if he doesn't like it. He is a slanderer and a liar and a little (deleted) who does not deserve to have a forum and I hope his punk ass is fired by Monday morning.

Hahahaha your name is an anagram for "Dead End Lane." Oh, sorry. Did you say something?

From: Gene Chamblin

Get over it! It's getting harder and harder to suffer you liberal idiots.

I can deal with being called "a child molester pedophile AIDS-infected little (deleted) who makes (deleted) up." But I draw the line at "liberal idiot." Also, are you suggesting that Republicans are OK with the way Les Miles summoned a scholarship player from his dorm room to tell him his scholarship was gone?

From: Jason Dowies

You give "moron" a bad name. You don't know what NCAA division Northwestern State is in? Or what STATE it's in?!? Google is your friend. It's in Natchitoches, La., genius.

I know where Northwestern State is located. Pretending I didn't was a writing device we call "hyperbole," meant to show just how far down the football ladder former LSU signee Chris Garrett has fallen, thanks to that great guy Les Miles.

From: Charles Weaver Jr.

How can you sustain a successful sportswriting career when you can't look up the conference or the state that Northwestern State University is in, you jackwagon?

I know where Northwestern State is located. It was a literary device. It was hyperbole, for effect.

From: Otto

Northwestern State is a FCS School in Natchitoches, La., you idiot.

It was ... never mind. Sigh. So, Northwestern State is in Louisiana, huh?

From: Garrett

Are you serious with this story about Les Miles? Surprised you have a job.

No kidding. I don't even know where Northwestern State is located.

From: Drew Blanchard

Why would you chose Les Miles to vilify, when there are so many other offenders? Miles doesn't oversign near as much as other coaches, even coaches in the SEC.

My guy is OK because other guys are worse!

From: Conrad Jackson

Hmmm. If this is a widespread practice, why did you make Les Miles your poster child?

Good point. Your guy is OK because other guys are worse!

From: Clifton Blanton

Why would you write that Barry Sanders is the greatest player of all-time the day before Emmitt Smith is enshrined in the Hall of Fame? Last time I will read anything with the name Doyal.

Me too! I'm done with that idiot Doyal. But there's a guy you should read, a cutting-edge linguist by the name of Doyel. He even has a mock Twitter account.

From: Sean

Your posts for lack of a better word normally suck, but this is by far the best one you've done. Well written and for once you stated legitimate arguments for your thinking. If I could vote on this story I'd give you five stars, Greg.

Who's Greg? And is that no-talented hack related to that idiot Doyal?

From: John Kostichka

If it's fourth-and-one, the greatest running back of all time should and will get that yard. Barry Sanders won't! In NFL history he has the most carries for negative yards. I'd rather have Leroy Hoard in my backfield on a fourth-and-one.

I stand corrected. Leroy Hoard is the greatest football player of all time.

From: Burton DeWitt

Sanders was good, but my money is on Butkus or Munoz, and my money is better than your money.

I don't know, Burton. Have you considered Leroy Hoard?

From: Bryan

Come on, Gregg. Just like with quarterbacks and receivers, it's about the rings. Barry has no rings. He's out.

The ring argument wins every time. Of course, the ring argument says Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer were better quarterbacks than Dan Marino. I'm starting to think the ring argument isn't so good. But I'm sold on Leroy Hoard.

From: Shelly

Jim Brown played in an era where there were two running backs. Brown was the fullback and Bobby Mitchell was the halfback. Check out Mitchell's rushing records while playing alongside Brown. Oh, and football wasn't even Brown's best sport. He is considered by just about everyone as the greatest lacrosse player of all time.

Nobody alive today ever saw Brown play lacrosse. Very few people alive today have seen anybody play lacrosse, for that matter.

From: Daniel

I appreciate the focus on oversigning, but I think you're harping on the wrong things. Les Miles and Houston Nutt are cutting players before they've even finished their degrees. With the Steven Wesley situation at Miami, you're talking about a guy who has already graduated. I can't see any moral problem with asking him to leave the team.

There's no moral problem with a dog crapping in my yard, either. But if I see it, I'm going to have a problem with it.

From: Dave K.

Your legacy is going to go down as the Hate Mail guy, which is brilliant because your actual columns aren't very good. You are a freek'n genius.

Yeah, it's pretty impressive when you think about ... wait. Huh?

From: Trent

Your Fat Albert column was so good that I thought about it all night. Usually I just think about you.

Trent, don't read anything into the e-mail that comes next. Its placement is purely a coincidence.

From: Gary Wilson

It's good to see you writing about MMA again. One question -- does Hate Mail still attract all those whack jobs?

Thank you. As for your question, I'll leave it like this: You read that last dude, I assume. Now read the next one.

From: Kenny E.

Couple of things from last week's Hate Mail. Skyline is (deleting) great ... and would you trust me with your house keys?

No. On both things.

From: Jeff

You are the loser, not Les Miles, and I'm sure there is a special spot for people who ridicule individuals that they haven't a clue about.

There is! You can find it right here.

From: THE Brian in Pittsburgh

Hey Judge Doyel's snarky little son, I'm sorry I haven't been showing you the proper amount of hate lately. Maybe it's because I've read a few of the other writers and I'll be damned, but you might be the best of the bunch. I mean, compared to this, your columns seem Faulkneresque.

Wrong. Faulkner writes incredibly long sentences, whereas I go for short ones. Plus I'm way too humble for that. Compare me to someone more fitting of my style and stature. Say, Hemingway.

From: Jonathan Horner, USNA '64

I would like to thank the posters for their civil, insightful, informed and stimulating comments below the Ricky Dobbs story. What a change from most hate-filled comment rooms. And thanks to you for highlighting a good football player and gentleman.

Did you just call my readers "civil, insightful, informed and stimulating?" You take that back!

From: Leonard Macias

Yo Idiot..... Revis is making ONE MIL a year .....HE'S GONNA GET me this....when revis sucks it up one year...should the jets get some money back.....huh....tell me keep saying he's the best corner..based on year...You are very closed sucka.

I've tried to answer your e-mail 10 different times, and each time I stop, delete and mope out of sheer depression. Apparently a person really can be as stupid as you are -- that doesn't depress me. But a person as dumb as you chooses to read ME? That's debilitating. I should have been a farmer.

Gregg Doyel is a columnist for He covered the ACC for the Charlotte Observer, the Marlins for the Miami Herald, and Brooksville (Fla.) Hernando for the Tampa Tribune. He was 4-0 (3 KO's!) as an amateur boxer, and volunteers for the ALS Association. Follow Gregg Doyel on Twitter.

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