Hate Mail: I don't do nice
Updated Sept. 9
Twice in a row, I wrote nice columns. I wrote nicely on the Cincinnati Reds, and I wrote nicely on the Michigan Wolverines. My e-mail box filled up, and it filled up with Love Mail.
Depressed the s--- out of me.
Also, it scared me. Am I changing? Am I becoming softer, weaker ... nicer?
Then I wrote on the myth of Boise State, and readers insulted my intellect. They questioned my manhood. They predicted my unemployment.
What a relief! Don't ever leave me, Hate Mail.
From: Denise Fisher
I don't even know where to start. These are young men who just play football. You're being totally irresponsible with your disdain for Boise State. Like I've had to email other idiot sportswriters like you, they play the schedule they are given and win. You should be ASHAMED.
Are you the church lady from Saturday Night Live?
From: Jake Crawley
I'm an avid college football fan. I absolutely love the game, despite how imperfect it is. But this article about Boise State has me very, very upset. You basically admitted that CBS is biased to the SEC. This alone makes me want to convert back to ESPN.
Actually that was irony and sarcasm, not an admission that "CBS is biased to the SEC." You missed it because you're an idiot. Sounds to me like ESPN is right up your alley. Don't let the doorknob hit ya ...
From: Andy N. Rupe
Boise State 33-30. SUCK ON THAT GREGG!!!!
Sort of touching, that in your highest moment -- after beating Virginia Tech in the final minute on national TV -- your first thought was of me. Thank you.
From: Wayne Tippets
You are a dope! How did you like the game?
And you thought of me, too. Very uplifting. Thank you.
From: W.W.
You feeling the Blue now, need I say anything MOORE!
OK, now you people are starting to creep me out.
From: C.A. Downing
Boise State 33, Virginia Tech 30. Too bad, too sad!
Is this how you party in Boise? By writing to sportswriters? Pathetic. They know how to have a good time in Pocatello, let me tell you.
From: DZC
Uncanny that your folks chose to spell your first name with an extra 'g'. Uncanny, because whenever I read one of your articles, all that comes to mind is "gee".
Well, I was "Greg Doyel" until my senior year of high school, but being the stud athlete I was (1987, '88) I was in the newspaper a good bit. One day they misspelled my name -- called me "Gregg" -- and a hot girl read it. She loved it. So I adopted it. And now you know the rest of the story.
From: Kurt
If you really wanted to prove your position, you should hope that Boise does make the national championship game -- then some so-called big-time school could put them in their place once and for all.
But that would mean that a deserving team got left out of the title game. Just to prove a point? No thanks. I prefer plugging the leak to mopping the floor.
From: Jackson
Try comedy writing.
You think? Well, thank you. I'm not sure I'm THAT funny, but thank you.
From: John HHickman
One of the best pieces written in a long while. Point made with humor.
I'll be damned. Maybe I am that funny.
From: W. Hill
Please enjoy your next gig at The National Enquirer. It suits your writing ability.
I'm a comedy writer at heart, you know.
From: John Younce
North Carolina was "cheating its ass off?" Get back to me once 'Bama, USC, Miami or Oklahoma hold out eight starters -- not because they received a suspension by the NCAA, but because the school can't (yet) prove that they haven't done anything wrong.
It was so bad at UNC that the school suspended players involved in two different investigations. And you think somehow this makes UNC credible? I see you're in med school, John -- looked you up -- so please do me a favor: If I ever come into your operating room, call in sick. I don't think you know an ass from an elbow.
From: Dwight Hurd
The simple fact is that Boise State may just be that good. Saying they don't deserve it just shows you are not really qualified to judge talent. You remind me of a female cleansing apparatus.
Are you calling me a loofah?
From: Mike Ridenhour
You took a strong stance to create an interesting article, but the stance was strong on opinion and weak on facts. The WAC is not the weakling of major football conferences -- the Big East is. I'm tired of ignorant writers from the East thinking that all the good football is played in Los Angeles or East of the Rockies.
Hang on. Is Boise located West of the Rockies? Huh. Didn't know.
From: Greg Collingwood
Read your attack on Tiger Woods. Using your logic about current performance, Phil Mickelson did not even make the cut at The Barclays -- so he should also decline playing in the Ryder Cup, right?
Exactly. Mickelson should be excluded because he also was embroiled in the sex scandal of the century and is a distraction to both teams and in general is playing at 14 percent of his usual capability. Exactly right, Greg. Idiot. Plus, your name is spelled funny.
From: Scott Knapper
Based on your measure of playing well or not playing well, Sergio Garcia would never have been selected to represent Europe, and thus wouldn't have posted a 14-3-3 record.
Exactly. Sergio should have been excluded because he also was embroiled in the sex scandal of the ... sigh. Are my readers really this stupid?
From: Candice Watson
Well Gregg U must not have been watching golf the past 10 yrs because if U had U would know that Tiger has earned a spot on any USA TEAM representing the game of Golf!!! His mere presence in the Ryder Cup will not only fill the course with fans but will also bring fear in the opposing team no matter how good He has played this year! His reputation preceeds him!!! stop being a Tiger hater!!!!!!!!
Yes -- yes they really are this stupid.
From: John and Lynn Bell
For the golf fans who have small golfers in their house who look up to this man, it means a lot when Dad has to tell them why Tiger is a very bad man!
Make sure you tell those little whippersnappers that Tiger isn't their daddy. He's just a person. Hopefully your kids won't worship athletes as blindly as their folks do.
From: Trent
Why was Joe Morgan naked in the Reds clubhouse? Just curious.
No idea, but I'm sorry I had to see it. And I'm seeing it again now, in my mind's eye, thanks to you. Not that there's ... you know. Anything wrong with that.
From: Reggie Walters
The real issue for you with this story on USA Basketball "traitors" is that these young men make mega-bucks -- and you don't. Their contract is to play basketball. Anything beyond that is goodwill on their part. Don't pour muddy water on me and try to convince me it's rain.
That brownish liquid pouring onto your head? Um ... it's not rain.
From: Billy Munsey
In 1984 BYU won the national championship. That BYU team would be blown away by 2010 Boise State. Therefore, if BYU could win the national championship, then Boise State deserves to win.
Therefore ... huh? You started with two debatable premises, then used that faulty foundation to construct your final point as if it's God's word. Let me tell you something, Billy: You could probably do my job pretty well.
