Hate Mail: A rare plunge into the deep end of the pool
You and I know that this weekly feature isn't a place for deep thoughts. I mean, look at the people writing it -- you and me. Deep thoughts? Not here.
Except for today, when we leave the wading area and dive into the deep end for such topics as the Occupy movement, an FTC investigation and the discovery of gravity.
Plus we talk about my face. Because you people can't help yourself. Because it is, after all, Hate Mail.
From: Mobyfin
As a lifelong union member I totally support the Occupy movement. I will remove your column and your site from my browser and not patronize the companies who advertise there. Sports talk is cheap, but it doesn't have to come wrapped in foolishness. One less fan, Mobyfin
Probably for the best. You're obviously looking for lobotomized groupthink. This isn't the place for you.
From: Ben Loom
Regarding your comments on the planned protest at the Super Bowl, you don't have a clue. Basically, you're full of s---. You're a liar and a f---ing pig. And then there's your photo, where you're trying to look Bad. You're a poser and a phony and, no doubt in my mind, nothing but a punk. Ben Loom, Dallas
Funny, you calling me a liar when your last name isn't "Loom" and you're not from "Dallas." Looked you up, kid, and I found you in New York. Under another name. So if there IS a Ben Loom in Dallas, I apologize to you, sir -- you didn't write this note. It was written by some coward in New York who would pee all over himself if he actually saw me in person.
From: Alyssa S.
Everything about you disgusts me. You're a horrible writer, you insult people, and then when you realize what a jackass you are, you suck up to them. You are an awful person.
What I am, Alyssa, is human. When I go after someone too hard -- unfairly too hard -- I apologize. That doesn't make me a "suck up," it makes me compassionate. What you are, Alyssa, is a small-minded prude who claims to get disgusted easily in public but no doubt lives a secret life that crosses over into deviant, sometimes criminal behavior.
P.S. I'm sorry.
From: Randall T.
On the Super Bowl being moved to London ... what difference would it make? The average fan cannot go to the game, so we're limited to watching it on TV.
The Super Bowl generates $200 million or more for the host city. But you're right, what difference does that sort of economic boost make to this country, since you can just watch it on TV?
From: James Hammond
In your article about a Super Bowl in London, you referenced baseball being invented in America. Wrong. Baseball is referenced many years before its supposed inception at Cooperstown. It was played in 1798 on the grounds of Northanger Abbey.
Rumors of baseball being invented anywhere but the United States are like Loch Ness Monster sightings -- utterly unbelievable. If it were true, if there was really a dinosaur living in a friggin' lake, there'd be no mystery; we'd know beyond a shadow of a doubt. And don't get me started on Area 51, either.
From: Cameron Steeves
Read your column about the Super Bowl in London, and I have to point out that basketball was invented in Canada -- not the USA. Although you have taken the sport to a whole new level, it doesn't mean you get to take all the credit.
James Naismith was Canadian, but he was at an American university when he unveiled basketball. That's a fact. And the first dominant power forward was some thug from the Scottish Highlands. Another fact.
From: Ed Fajardo
Get your facts straight. First, football isn't purely an American game -- it's an amalgam of soccer and rugby. Second, baseball isn't so American, either, having its roots in cricket.
Next you'll tell me Sir Isaac Newton didn't really discover gravity -- he stole it from some idiot who tripped over his own feet.
From: Derek Moore
People who write Hate Mail are just jealous of your perfect haircut.
Or they're jealous of this one.
From: Butch Walter
Why does your head always tilt to one side?
I got rid of the mohawk, and it's like my head has no rudder!
From: Nicole
I just read your story on the UFC, and it takes a lot to write what you wrote. Awhile, back I used to ring-card for Strikeforce. I came out and told my story about not being paid and of course I was bullied and bashed. Just wanted to say, stay strong and true to your beliefs.
If I had a dollar for every email I've received from a former ring-card girl, I'd have a dollar.
From: Frank Fontsere
In your article concerning the FTC investigation of the UFC, you referred to yourself as a coward. With all due respect, coward is the kindest thing you can call yourself. You call the UFC and Dana White bullies yet you smile in their faces, take their press credentials, and enjoy the fruits of their labor. You are far worse than a coward. You are a worm.
I just got called a worm by the drummer from Fozzy. Why couldn't you play for a band that me or my kids or friends or neighbors or strangers on the street have heard of? That would be a cool story to tell. But if I tell someone I was called a worm by the drummer from Fozzy, they'll think I'm talking about the Muppets.
From: Backlink Service
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Spam-bot, I already have a backlink service. It's called Google. For some reason, they archive everything I've ever written. Someone there has a crush on me.
From: Todd
I enjoy some of your stuff, but I don't the read Hate Mail stories. Seems like you're doing an awful lot of them. More than usual?
Once a week. For nine years. That comes to 452 editions of Hate Mail, and you know what? Google archived every one of 'em. Those sweethearts.
From: Ben
You said in your column about a potential London Super Bowl that you weren't sure if they play football in Asia. You should look up the IFAF American Football World Cup. Japan has won two championships.
Moeller High in Cincinnati could kick their ass.
From: Rex
Your angry comments toward Joe Paterno have irritated me for two months. The bad guy here is Sandusky. Paterno forwarded second-hand info to his bosses about an incident that he didn't witness. Go back to your high horse, then dismount, and lift up the tail and look at your reflection.
Several boys were allegedly molested in the years after Paterno "forwarded" what he knew. All the while, Joe Paterno managed to sleep at night. You think Sandusky is the only bad guy in this story? I see more than one.
From: David Xaviel
Looks like your boy, Ben Roethlisberger, has in effect admitted to rape by settling the lawsuit. And don't bother with the "settling of a lawsuit is not an admission of guilt" nonsense. Anyone accused of rape would fight the charges tooth and nail, if that person were truly innocent.
You've written me several times, David, so I already know you're not very bright. Let me draw your attention to the following words in that story, from the alleged victim's own attorney, which you obviously missed because you are, as I said, not smart: "All parties have reached a resolution of all claims and counterclaims." (Emphasis mine.) You know what that quote suggests? It suggests the alleged victim paid the alleged attacker for making a bogus accusation.
