Listen, it was bound to happen. Swing as hard as I swing, and the occasional whiff is inevitable. I made like Dave Kingman on my story about Notre Dame last week, swinging so hard that I fell onto my rump, but that's not the real story here.
The real story is that my miss, that
colossal failure, was my first such screwup in a long time. Maybe ever. Pretty impressive when you think about it. That Notre Dame column was the exception that proves the rule, the rule being I'm pretty damn good at this prediction business.
But let's get to Hate Mail, where the exception must be addressed.
From: Luther Properties
You made some pretty dismal predictions about the fightin' Texas A&M Aggies joining the SEC in 2011.
I take exception. We're talking about my Notre Dame screwup, not my Texas A&M screwup.
From: Jacob Cooper
"Aug. 14, 2011: Right or not, Aggies would walk into SEC buzz saw ... By Gregg Doyel." If you had to pick a single word to describe your feelings about this piece in retrospect, would it be "oops"?
Not the word I had in mind. Correct number of letters, though.
From: Robert Eddy
Not much of an analyst, are you? You missed Kansas State and Oregon going down.
Missed it. Missed it bad. Give me my medicine. I can take it.
How do you like your crow? It's being served!!! Hahaha. You're a tool and a hack as a journalist.
Crow? Put enough BBQ sauce on it, and I'll eat anything.
From: M. Kelley
How's that crow taste for breakfast this morning, Gregg?
Truth be told, I already do put BBQ sauce on almost everything. But for breakfast I eat a McGriddle.
Prophetic. Oregon and K-State looked great today. Hahahaha!
Well, I don't put BBQ sauce on a McGriddle. That would be blasphemy.
From: Bryan J. Carey
How you like the Irish now? Number One -- and one game away from a national title appearance! Not in the conversation with K-State?? Idiot.
Confession: I make my own McGriddle every day. But it's a healthy McGriddle. I call it a McGreggy.
From: Johnny Lauinger
No wonder you know jack about football. Sweet haircut bro.
Whole-grain cinnamon toast with sugar-free syrup. Canadian bacon. Slice of fat-free American. Two eggs -- but only one yolk; I scoop out the other. Every day I make a McGreggy. Every. Single. Day.
From: Matthew Kelm
HAHA! Nice article Friday. How stupid did you feel Saturday, Crap-4-brains?
OK, fine. I was wrong about Notre Dame. But I was right about LeBron shrinking in the fourth quarter of the 2011 NBA Finals! I was first, and I was right!
From: Joe Magnetico
You are correct Doyel: Like your hair, "magic doesn't last forever." Let's just pray your job doesn't either.
Once I wrote a story that got a Big 12 basketball coach fired, too.
From: Delbert Montgomery
No disrespect, but you sir are an idiot and quite possibly the worst sports writer to ever touch a pen.
Maybe I should stick to basketball. Apparently I'm pretty good when I write about that sport.
I still can't believe you said Oklahoma City would never get an NBA basketball team.
From: Jim Bachmeier
Last week, while looking down your nose at us ND fans, you wrote this: "Nobody's combination can match Kansas State's, which has the firepower to win a high-scoring game and the starch to win a defensive battle." You have no idea what you're talking about.
Notre Damers apparently thought they were reading Nostradamus.
"No disrespect, Notre Dame, but you're just not as good as Oregon and K-State." Yeah, right.
Technically speaking, that could still be true.
From: Robert Haines
Yeah, K-State is a real juggernaut. Your name is a joke.
Your name is underwear.
After getting more than 10,000 visitors a day to my website I thought your website also need unstoppable flow of traffic. Use this BRAND NEW software and get all the traffic for your website you will ever need!
Actually, Spam-Bot, I was kind of hoping for a few less visitors on that Notre Dame story.
From: Mark Faries
Great article on Johnny Football. Nice to see a credible columnist come out and say what everyone knows -- that he deserves to win the Heisman.
From: Pat Merc
I'm shocked they published that Notre Dame article -- it sucked. Not only were your facts incorrect, and opinions biased, but the two teams you praised made a fool out of you Saturday night.
Miguel Cabrera had his Triple Crown, and I have mine. M-V-P! M-V-P!
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a, um, Happy Thanksgiving.