National Columnist

Hate Mail: Fighting with the Irish and a bunch of angry Cheeseheads

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Notre Dame fans are feeling so feisty, they're scouring the Internet for slights -- even slights from 2009 -- and then coming after the slighter.

How do I know? Well, put it this way. If I were a professional wrestler, I'd call myself Sgt. Slighter.

And I'd fly off the top rope with my signature move, the atomic Hate Mail. Get you some!

From: Mr. Clean

I was just reading through your archives and saw that in 2009 you wrote in 10 or 20 years we'd look at Notre Dame the same way we now look at Army and find it laughable they were ever a national power. You are a remarkably stupid piece of s---. That is why you are where you are. It is more likely that in 20 years a U of F degree, along with all the other remarkably bad SEC schools, will be worth as much as a welding certificate from Apex Tech. You suck at your job. I hope you enjoy making $60K a year spouting stupidity.

So many things wrong with your email, starting with that laughably high misguided guess at my salary. But the least you could do is be honest. You weren't "just reading through [my] archives." Who does that? Nobody does that. But people do read Notre Dame message boards, and then they do what someone on that Notre Dame message board says when that person says, "Sic him!" So you came here and sicced me. Good boy! Now ... shake. I said shake!

From: Bob

Nice call in your 2009 article on the end of Notre Dame success in football.

Fetch, Fido. Fetch!

From: Go Irish

Hey it's 2012. The Irish are still No. 1, and you are still a f---ing idiot.

Play dead!

From: Joe Yahnian

The funny thing is, people today are talking about the No. 1 Irish -- and nobody knows or cares who Gregg Doyel is.

Except for your message board, you mean.

From: Ben Kleinhenz

That's quite a crystal ball you have, Mr. Doyel. Why waste such prognostic powers on college football? Such insight should be focused on geopolitics, the stock market, etc. Notre Dame is Army -- brilliant!

It's like you guys have no pride at all.

From: Keith

Good article comparing Notre Dame football to Army football. Your prognostication skills are up there with the Mayans and Nostradamus.

I mean, even my dogs refuse to follow some orders.

From: Michael Flood

Looks like it will be closer to 20 years before we can laugh at Notre Dame. The Internet never forgets.

No, the Internet does not. And you have just outed "Michael Flood" as a follower who does exactly what his message board tells him to do. I wonder what they'll tell you to do tomorrow, Mike. Kind of exciting, isn't it? It could be anything.

From: Bill Weber

Notre Dame is in the National Championship game, but who is Gregg Doyel? You are such a moron!

Just reading through my archives, I bet.

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I don't want to know what message board sent you, Spam-Bot.

From: Matt Blackford

Most of Mason Crosby's missed field goals this season have been from over 50 yards. For you to make it sound like he's a choker just shows that you're not the kind of sportswriter who bothers to get his hands dirty with nuances.

Crosby missed from 42 and 43 yards on Sunday alone. On kicks of 49 yards or less he's hitting 70.6 percent, which would rank dead last in the NFL against all kickers -- even if we included those other kickers' tries from 50 yards and greater. See my point, Mr. Nuance?

From: John Bergman

You withheld the context of Mason Crosby's missed field goals. Seven of his misses were FROM OVER FIFTY YARDS. This is why many people do not trust journalists.

Crosby's own coach, Mike McCarthy, chose not to let Crosby kick two field goals FROM LESS THAN 50 YARDS because Crosby is that unreliable. I bet you didn't actually watch the game -- you just read my story. Good call, by the way.

From: Kevin

Black coaches get fired, and here you come to their rescue. It's at the point that no one can say ANYTHING against a minority, even if the minority is clearly wrong! It's like their opinion is automatically better than a white person's opinion. We've got to stop pandering to every minority. I'm not saying to discriminate, but don't pity them and claim discrimination every time they are held to the same standards as whites.

You remind me of a guy I went to college with at Florida. He founded the White Student Union. I wondered whatever became of that guy. Maybe you're him.

From: Jeff

How come nobody ever cries for the white coaches who get fired?

Well, maybe you're him.

From: Pantheon

I'm so sick of dumbasses like you defending minorities. Wake up, man. They got enough defenders already. Fair's fair.

Hmmmm. You could be him, too.

From: J. Wood

I don't know what's worse, blacks constantly whining about how they are always discriminated against, or people like you, who obviously are neck deep in white guilt. Making a story about the poor black man getting the short end of the stick isn't a story, it's a f---ing obsession. It's old pal. White America is sick of it.

Pretty sure you're not him. From high school you probably went straight to the KKK.

From: Jeff G.

Regarding last week's Hate Mail: You sound like a woman who has to get the last word in.

No idea if you're racist. But pretty sure you're sexist.

From: Wayne Thurman

I appreciate your comments regarding James Franklin; he's a great one. But I was insulted by your comment that "Tennessee is a state loaded with Tennesseans." If we are so lame, then why didn't Lincoln just leave us alone to go our own way? If we are so backward, why do we get to notice from afar other more sophisticated states spending themselves into bankruptcy? Why did we have the Senate majority leader for years? Why did the two current Cy Young award winners come from two adjacent counties in Tennessee? How did Randall Cobb from Alcoa, Tenn., make the roster of the Packers and why ...

Sigh.


Gregg Doyel is a columnist for CBSSports.com. He covered the ACC for the Charlotte Observer, the Marlins for the Miami Herald, and Brooksville (Fla.) Hernando for the Tampa Tribune. He was 4-0 (3 KO's!) as an amateur boxer, and volunteers for the ALS Association. Follow Gregg Doyel on Twitter.
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